PRAYER IS NOT ABOUT US!

There was a sermon illustration that told of a boy who through a tantrum in the toy store because he wanted a specific toy and the mother was not giving in but after some persistence the mom purchased it. Prayer, in the popular imagination is a little like that interaction. We want the request our way, right away. Prayer, as this chapter describes is not about us.

I like the opening quote.

It is not a perfect prayer if one is conscious of oneself or understands one's prayer.

St. Antony of the Desert (251-356)

I think the key here is the part "if one is conscious of oneself". I don't think  we are to totally ignore ourselves for that would be impossible to speak to anyone and have no sense of self-consciousness, but the key is not to be self-focused.

Sittser opens with a story of Rob and Ann and their son Michael. Their son was born with a rare condition with left him physically and mentally handicap. They prayed for his healing for years. There was some progress and then he was suddenly able to walk. Then he fell down some stairs and they took him to the hospital. Amazingly, there was no brain damage. There was no damage at all. In fact, he had been totally restored to perfect health. They ponder God's healing:


"Rob and Ann have often wondered, as I wonder now: Why a healing the second time but not the first time? Is there a rational explanation? Did they have more faith the second time around? Had they become more worthy? Did they say the right words? Had God become more compassionate and merciful? They would answer "no" on all counts. But they would not stop there.
They would say that something extraordinary happened to them because Michael was not healed the first time around. For one thing, it increased their longing to know and follow God. For another, it changed the way they pray. They still pray for healings--their prayers for Michael after his accidental tumble down the basement stairs are evidence of that. But they pray now with open hands, a posture that symbolizes their desire to surrender their wills to God, for they believe that God wills such surrender. They have not given up on prayer. Far from it. They pray more fervently and faithfully than they ever have. They pray for the continued redemption of their family, and so much more.
Rob puts it so well, "I used to use scripts when I prayed, telling God what my life should look like and what God should do to make it that way. But not any more." He pauses, smiles wryly, and then adds, "Prayer is dangerous. It will never leave us the same. We try to change our circumstances when we pray. But God uses our circumstances to change us. All prayer is a willingness to surrender the self to God." As Barbara Brown Taylor writes, "But there is more to prayer than the answer to prayer. There is also the pray-er, who is shaped by the praying.''2 "p. 127).

In a brief economy of words, this is so true: prayer changes us. Now, I begin to realize, how much will I change if God always gives us what we want and gives us what we want immediately? We would become very self-centered and unthankful. Prayer is a journey, a very long journey. We must pray with open hands. That is, to pray with a sense of surrender because we really do not know what is best for ourselves. Surrender also requires the acceptance of what God does.

This has often been something complicated. We pray with a sense of surrender. We are not sure what is the best option. How then do we articulate what we want?

"But Ignatius meant something far different. First, he tells us to ask God for what we want. That implies that the things we want most are beyond our reach,, so we must ask God for them, as if we were children who cannot reach the goodies stored high on the shelf without Mom's help. Second, he tells us to ask God for what we want, which encourages us to ponder what we really do want in life. What longings run deepest in us, what desires do we have that only God can fill? What do we really want? What should we want?" (p. 129).

There are the goodies on the shelf we cannot reach but should not have. Or, at least, at the present moment. Then, there are the goodies that are our heart's deepest desire. I think of how I wanted a girlfriend at thirteen and can remember specific girls that I had in mind. God never provided a girlfriend at thirteen or fourteen or fifteen or many, many years later. One of my most biggest and what I think is legitimate request is the restoration of my knees and ankles. God has appeared to be very slow in answering this one.

We don't pray with a sense of urgency and desperation until something difficult happens. This has been my most consistent month of prayer for a long time because the discomfort drives me to pray for healing and restoration.

Sittser talks about how our modern culture leads us to pray shallow and self-centered prayers. He contrasts this to the men and women of history who had a deeper and richer faith in God. He describes those in the past whose faith in Christ often meant the end of their life.

"I remind them of the four hundred thousand Christians who were put to death under Idi Amin in Uganda in the early 1970s.
These martyrs prayed for deliverance. On some occasions their prayers were answered; on most occasions they weren't. In either case, they prayed for something
The martyrs prayed that God would make them strong and faithful when they faced torture and execution, that their deaths would bring glory to God, and that the impact of their martyrdom would draw others to Christ." (p. 135).

Under those conditions, prayer takes on a deeper dimension. For us today, we are not faced with those conditions, but we nevertheless can still pray for many to come to faith. Right now, as I write this, we are five days removed from a revival event right here in Sacramento. 400 churches have partnered together to make this happen. We have prayed that there is going to be such an outpouring of God's Spirit that multitudes will come to faith. This week is the week to pray big and to think big.

Yet, prayer is not simply about expressing wants and desires. The ultimate purpose of prayer is knowing God:

"Again, I ask myself, "What should I pray for? What do I really want?" Here the Bible points us in a new direction. It challenges us to ask a different question, in fact, why we pray
for is not even the most important question. It is why we pray. We pray because God is worthy of our prayers. As it turns out,
praying is not primarily about us
We pray because what we really want, above all else and in the deepest places of our being, is to know God. That is our heart's desire, whether we know it consciously or feel it deeply. That does not mean that we should not pray for God to heal a sick child or to heal a broken marriage or to bring peace to a conflicted part of the world. These prayers are worthy; we are right to pray them. Yet the supreme end of all praying is to know God, however worthy our requests are. God is our Creator, Sustainer, Redeemer.
Everything we are our ability to move and think, our capacity to love, our inclination to pray--depends on God. He is like the air we breathe, like the food that feeds us, like the water that keeps us alive. C. S. Lewis wrote, "God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on .... God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."7 (p. 140).

Prayer is a relationship. Whether or not ultimately gives us what we want is secondary, but the very fact of His communication and relating is primary. Sittser illustrates this with his marriage relationship. When his wife died from the accident he really began to miss her. It was not about the things she did in the home, but rather it was the late night walks, her smile, how she said things. The relationship is primary.

Sittser describes another reason why we pray:

"We also pray to glorify God because we long to catch a clearer glimpse of God's greatness, power, and beauty.
God created the universe to set it ablaze with his glory. Everything that exists manifests something of God's nature--his vastness or beauty or complexity.
 Thus, when we write a novel, run a business well, serve at a soup kitchen, love a spouse deeply, rebuild an automobile engine, and pray to God--especially when we pray--we bring glory to him. We show just how beautiful and holy God is. God created all things--especially human beings--to glorify himself.
Jesus himself was motivated to accomplish his earthly mission by his desire to glorify his Father." (p. 144)

We show how beautiful and holy God is when we pray and when we live God-honoring lives as Christ models. Other created beings declare the glory of God. We show our dependence and hope in God when we pray. I think conversely, when we stop praying and when we don’t trust God, those are times when God’s beauty is not evident in our lives. We admire and respect brothers and sisters who persevere in trials.


Why we pray influences what we pray for. If we pray to know God and to glorify God, then our prayers will put God right where he belongs, at the center of things, even as we pray
for other things that matter deeply to us, and presumably to God, too, such as wholeness and redemption. We will pray for those things that delight and honor God, even if we are praying for our own needs.
Thus, if we pray for healing, it will be to render better service to God. But if we continue to be sick, we will strive to honor God all the same, "whether we live or die," as the apostle Paul put it.12 If we pray for a job, it will be to use our position and resources to build his kingdom and not our own. If we can't find a job, we will use our time and struggles to glorify God. We will put God first in everything.


Once we begin to pray to know God and to glorify him, then we can "pray for what we want," as Ignatius advised. In fact, why we pray and what we pray for are seamlessly connected. God is glorified when he answers our prayers, assuming we pray for the things that honor him namely, our own transformation and the world's redemption (subjects we will explore in the next two chapters). God delights in our prayers, he listens with care, and he longs to answer them. God shows himself to be God when he does answer our prayers, but not if those answers reinforce the bad habits that need to be changed in us, like our selfishness and egoism.” (pp. 146-147).

Prayer:
Father, I’ve been reminded to put You first in everything. That sounds a lot more simpler than it actually is. It often means saying no to a lot of things which can be difficult. Rob and Ann pray with open hands. Their situation with their son born with physical challenges drew them to pray for healing and You healed him. Whether healing comes soon or later, we need to be unshaken in our faith and focused on what matters. Father, you are wonderful and glorious. We belong to You and were made for You. In our prayer, in our lives moment by moment, we want to know you deeper.