It is now day three and chapter three of this text. This title is quite relevant for me right now. I have so much pessimism and negativity stored inside. Last night I received an e-mail from a job interview I had nearly six weeks ago. It took six weeks for me to find out from them. I wish I could be unphased by rejection letters, but I am human. And, certainly this rejection letter effects my confidence for tomorrow's interview. I found out who will interview me and it will be two people. This is the first time being interviewed by two people. They both hold management positions and one is the program director. Having found out, I feel very intimidated. I woke up this morning and it appeared as though the joint discomfort had decreased only for it to increase later on in the morning. I still don't know how I am going to make it tomorrow. Everything, right now, seems so bleak.
The quote for this chapter is:
The best prayers often have more groans than words.
John Bunyan
I think this is true. Sometimes, when the trial is so challenging that we don't even know what to say to God anymore. We run out of words. We make noises that are not even words and do not even make sense. Prayer then like we explored last time is a cry of desperation.
Sittser (2007) opens with an illustration of a man whose daughter has a terminal illness. He prays for her healing. Suddenly, there is a glimpse of hope, only for a moment, and things turn tragic for his daughter. Recorded are his reactions:
"It is all too much for him. He makes his way back to the church. He finds the cake he accidentally left there, which he was going to give to Carol and the hospital staff to celebrate her remission. Leaving the church, he notices a crucifix hanging over the central doorway of the church. In his grief and rage he takes the cake, balances it perfectly in his hand, and flings it at the crucifix. His aim is perfect. The cake hits Jesus square in the face. Then Wanderhope sinks down to the steps, unable to move. He is utterly spent, having fought so hard, prayed so helplessly, hoped so foolishly for an answer to prayer that never came.
I have never hurled a cake at Jesus, as the fictional character Wanderhope does in Peter De Vries's wrenching novel The Blaod of the Lamb. But I have wanted to because I have felt that same kind of emotion, that same kind of pain, that same kind of rage. Like Wanderhope, I have felt betrayed by God. Perhaps you have, too. In my experience most Christians feel this way at some point in their journeys. They have been bitterly angry at God. Is it wrong to feel this kind of emotion? Is it wrong to vent such emotion to God?" (p. 59).
I believe too, that I have felt that same disappointment, that same frustration. I too have never thrown a cake at Jesus, but I wonder if I was in the same situation, would I do the same. Many of us have never been in that same level or that same situation. Most of us have not seen an illness take over the body of a loved one. We wonder in these moments, where is God in the grief and pain?
Emotions are real. The issue becomes what do we do with them? Sittser's thoughts are that we can suppress them. This does not work because eventually it will come out and not in a constructive form. Others will lash out at innocent people which often ends up being family members. This too is not healthy. Another way is to turn our emotions inward which is often anger or depression. This too is not healthy. The Bible states an alternative.
The Bible actually offers a different solution. It tell to direct our pain toward God. ... The Psalms show us how to express our emotions not only positive ones, like gladness and gratitude, but negative ones, like anger and despair." (p. 62). Indeed, David and other psalmists demonstrate real emotions. Many times it is joy and celebration. Other times, anger, disappointment, and desperation. It shows that we are taking God seriously and communicating with Him.
"The Psalms put negative emotions into words. Half the Psalms contain complaints, usually directed toward God. The psalmist does not hesitate to wrestle with God, cry out to God, weep before God, even blame God for misery and suffering. However high their view of God, the Hebrews believed that God was great and gracious enough to absorb this raw and reckless emotion and strong enough to withstand the hostility we pour on him. The Psalms show us that, when we approach God, we must speak the truth--about ourselves, about our circumstances, especially about our feelings. God doesn't seem to take offense. If anything, he invites such express He wants us to turn our emotion into a prayer, however n it might be. Listen to these cries:" (p. 63-64)
LORD, how many are my foes!
How many rise up against me!
Many are saying of me,
"God will not deliver him. "#
I am worn outfkom groaning.
All night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow.5
Why, LORD, do you stand far off.
Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?6
How long, LORD God Almighty, will your anger smolder against the prayers of your people?
You have fed them with the bread of tears;
you have made them drink tears by the bowlful,z
God is able to take our emotions. He is able to love us still even in our frustrations and groaning. God is a good parent who continues on loving us even when our love is less than perfect towards Him.
Sittser recommends memorizing some Psalms and praying it back to God substituting for the situation. Using Psalm 6:6-7 he prayed:
"I am weary of complaining;
every night 1 cry to you, God;
I drench my pillow with the tears of anguish and pain
until I can cry no longer.
My eyes are bitter with brine;
they grow weak because of my troubles.
I am exhausted by my sorrow.
Even when I have stopped crying,
my heart still aches and groans.
Will this ever end?" (pp. 65-66)
Sittser states that prayer does at least one thing. It pushes us toward God. Then, he brings this into an analogy to marriage. It is far better to communicate than to leave issues unspoken. It is better to voice frustration and disappointment than to leave these things left unsaid. So it is in our relationship with God. We must be honest with Him.
Jesus is our model. Jesus came to His Father with true agony the night before His unlawful arrest. We can see this in the event in Gethsemane. This was perhaps the most deepest display of agony Jesus showed in prayer before the cross.
While on the cross, Jesus uttered those words from Psalm 22:
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?
My God, 1 cry out by day, but you do not answer;
by night, but I find no rest....
Other Psalms express a range of emotions. Some Psalms charge God for wrong doing. It would seem like the writer was an atheist. We see real emotions in this heart-felt communication and cries to God.
"Such resolution is never more startling and moving than the testimony of the writer of Psalm 22, the very psalm Jesus had on his lips as he was dying on the cross. This psalm expresses both despair and hope, anger and faith. The cry of pain ends with a confession of confidence; agony leads to resolution. If there is no struggle, there can be no peace. The psalmist won't have one without the other.
He begins with an accusation. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" He rails against God for the pain and anguish he feels, like a child who finally gets a chance to strike out against an abusive parent. He feels utterly abandoned. The pain is too much for him to bear.
Yet in the end he confesses his faith in the same God he accuses, he prays for deliverance to the same God who has made his life so miserable. However angry, he recognizes that apart from God there is no help and no hope. (p. 75)
But you, LORD, do not be far from me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
Deliver me from the sword,
my precious life om the power of the dogs.
Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save me om the horns of the wild oxen.
If there is no struggle, then there can be no peace. Agony leads to resolution. We gain confidence in God in and through our cries of desperation. We begin with the complaint but then it turns to hope. So it is with the structure of the prayers in the Bible. We still believe that God will come through that God will rescue. Yes, God is still in control.
The Psalmist declares:
I will declare your name to my people;
in the assembly I will praise you.
You who fear the LORD, praise him!
All you descendants of ]acob, honor him! Revere him,
all you descendants of Israel!...
All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him,
for dominion belongs to the LORD
and he rules over the nations.
"The Psalms keep us grounded in God. Every home needs a grounding wire to keep it safe during an electrical storm. However 'powerful the strike of lightning, it will inflict no damage if a home has such a wire, for that wire will send the 'electrical charge directly into the ground, where it can do no damage. The Psalms are like grounding wire for emotional lightning bolts.
The Psalms invite us to complain, to plot revenge, to accuse God, all in the form amazing as this sounds of a prayer. The Psalms assume that God is big enough, powerful enough, and gracious enough to absorb that emotion so that it causes no destruction. Ironically, the frustration that unanswered prayer engenders is itself turned into a prayer. Rather than cutting us off from God, unanswered prayer drives us to God. These prayers might sound as bitter as poison, but they are still prayers. It seems as if any kind of prayer, even those that are mean and angry, is better than no prayer at all. However irreverent, these prayers are .still prayers." (p. 76-77)
Prayer:
Father, I can remember times in my life when I have felt so disappointed at You that I neglected to pray completely. Here in this chapter we are reminded that complaining prayer is better than no prayer. Prayer drives us to You and declares our need for You as our help and our hope. In the Psalms we find raw emotions of anger, frustration, disappointment, and discouragement as well as joy and celebration. We wrestle with doubts and disappointments. Father, I wrestle with my physical health situation and pain in my joints. I don't even know if I can make it to the interview tomorrow. I continue to cry out for help and healing in my situation. I continue to trust that You are in control of every situation and commit these issues into Your care.
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