Contentment: Concluding Reflections
This reflection and journey has taken us about three months. It is now the final section. As I write this, there is still no definite summer placement as I await the response from one more agency. Yesterday had been a little bit discouraging with an early morning e-mail from one of the hospitals where I had asked about a possible internship. I wish that my post today would contain good news. The search for a summer placement has been continuous for ten weeks. It is hard at times to focus on the Provider rather than the problem.
Dillow opens up this last section with Psalm 84:
Psalm 84
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah
9 Look upon our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.
"As I read it again, I was reminded of the journey to calmness of heart. It speaks of a woman like you and me who sets her heart on pilgrimage. A pilgrim is defined as "a person who travels to a sacred place." Contentment is a holy place. According to this psalm, the woman is blessed because her strength is in God. As she travels through the valley of weeping, she makes it into a living spring (verses 5-6). My prayer is that you, too, will reach the living spring of contentment." (p. 201).
Contentment is indeed a holy place. Few ever find it. Discontent, stress, anxiety, greed and its siblings are constant companions for so many, even within the household of faith. Those who find contentment are like a living spring. This is so true. I can remember a few sermons when the pastor asks the rhetorical question of what would it be like to be around a Christian who is always thankful about everything. For some of us it would be a little bit annoying, but in truth those who are totally content and thankful for everything are like a living spring.
"I finally saw that although I have a steering wheel, I can give up control. My Driver (God) is totally in control. He has been on the road. He knows the way. He sees ahead to the very end or the
J . 1
road — to all my tomorrows. I can sit back and relax, converse wit the Driver, and enjoy the journey. My focus becomes Him instead of where I'm going." (p. 201).
I like how Dillow uses the car analogy. We think we are driving, but we have no idea where we are going or even the way. God sees the entire road and the entire map yet in our finite minds we want to take control of the steering wheel. I like the last sentence, our focus becomes Him rather than where we are going. It is not about the destination so long as we are in the car with the Lord. What matters is our relationship with Him ass our driver. I can relate to this analogy as I am blind and rely on people to drive me. It is sad when two people can be in the same car for hours and not say a single word and zero relationship exists. I love talking to my friends and family who drive me. It is about relationship. The same applies with our relationship with God.
Dillow returns back to her key verse and key thought.
"What I have been sharing with you throughout this book is that first, foremost, and finally, contentment is a yielding to our Great, Almighty, Holy King. "God ... is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters" (1 Timothy 6:15, ph)."p. 202).
God is in control. Even when I don't understand it, when I can't see it. God is in control. To the degree to which I believe this and submit to His control will dictate my degree of contentment. One day ago after receiving the e-mail I was not ready to take the result too its logical conclusion if I cannot find an internship. It would mean going back to California without a degree and seemingly one year wasted. Though it is still very difficult, I have accepted that if God wants me to return, I will pack my things, and if He allows me to stay, God will provide.
" As we grow in trusting God in all things, our contentment becomes an act of worship. Isn't that a beautiful thought!" (p. 202).
Our trust in God is worship. I love how John Piper states it. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. Faith pleases God. It magnifies Him name. Contentment does not depend on place, possessions, or other people. It depends on our trust in the Blessed Controller of all things.
Dillow closes with a prayer. As I await the response from my last agency contact, as I await the move to stay or return home, with a mustard seed of faith, this is my prayer:
"The Lord is my peace. I shall not live in anxiety. He puts me under His wing of comfort and calms my spirit within me. He takes all my anxieties on Himself and helps me to focus on Him. Yes, though I walk through a time of grave uncertainties and fierce anxieties, I will not fret —for You are my peace. Your Word and Your presence calm me now. You hold my uncertainties in the palm of Your hand. You soothe my anxious mind- You smooth my wrinkled brow. Surely serenity and trust in You shall fill me all the days of my life. And I shall keep my mind stayed on You forever} (p.204)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Trusting God on the crooked path
We are almost to the end of the book. I really enjoyed this book and it has been so relevant, so encouraging and so challenging. I would like to continue journeying with you through a new book. Please provide some suggestions.
It is one of "those" days. The first e-mail I received in the morning was from one of the agencies where I interviewed twice. This agency was the farthest drive, 45 minutes one way. I was asked to come in twice. You can see where I am headed with this. The title of the message was internship. It was a short e-mail and those are usually the worst and it was. In polite language they said that they cannot accept me as an intern. Usually this should not be a big deal, but I forwarded the message to the director of field education at the college and she expressed her concerns that this is starting to become problematic. My peers all started their internships five weeks ago and I have been met with ten weeks of failed attempts. Yet, in this, the Lord is good. I received two phone calls from two different hospitals and had two interviews this week. I have no idea how it will turn out, but this situation is not in my control.
I far prefer the times when everything makes sense and things are going well.
"I personally prefer the "straight" times! I like to be able to see how everything is fitting together. The crooked times are difficult, not just because they're crooked but because we can't see how God is working. But those are the times that require faith. Remember, God is fitting things together even when we can't see. It just doesn't feel as good or as safe. The book of Ecclesiastes encourages us to rejoice when life is easy and to trust God when it isn't." (p. 186)
Consider the work of God, for who is able to straighten what He has bent? In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider — God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not discover anything that will be after him. (Ecclesiastes 7:13-14, nasb)
God has made both the times of prosperity as well as the times of adversity. Human nature far rather prefers the days of prosperity. We try so much to avoid the adversity. Recently I have had Romans 8:28 appear and reappear in my mind especially when the e-mail came in this morning.
"All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."'
Yet these situations God places in our lives do not stop us from asking the "why" questions and the "how long" questions. One of my most favorite minor prophets ponders such questions and Dillow reflects on his message.
"Habakkuk was different from the other Old Testament prophets who addressed either their own countrymen or a foreign people. Habakkuk talked to God alone. He was a man with a crooked situation. After the death of Josiah, the last godly king, the people worshiped false gods, and very little honor was given to Yahweh.
Moral corruption was rampant in judah, yet God was silent. Violence and lawlessness raged; God seemed unconcerned. It appeared that God was not working. Habakkuk came before God and asked the age-old questions that tear our hearts apart: "How long, O Lord?""Why, God? Why do You allow evil and wickedness to continue in Judah?" He prayed:" (p. 189).
How long, O Lord, will I call for help.
And Thou wilt not hear?
I cry out to Thee, "Violence!"
Yet Thou dost not save.
Why dost Thou make me see iniquity.
And cause me to look on wickedness?
Yes, destruction and violence are before me;
Strife exists and contention arises.
Therefore, the law is ignored
And justice is never upheld.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
Therefore, justice comes out perverted.
(Habakkuk 1:2-4, nasb)
The circumstances aren't too different from the ones we see here in the United States and around the world, rampant injustice. Volumes have been written from philosophers and Theologians and pastors about this issue of God's sovereignty and human evil, and the book does not go into the why of things but the how. God responds to the questions.
Then the Lord answered me and said,
"Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets.
That the one who reads it may run.
For the vision is yet for the appointed time:
It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay.
Behold, as for the proud one.
His soul is not right within him;
But the righteous will live by his faith."
(Habakkuk 2:2-4, nasb)
"God reaffirmed that what Habakkuk had heard was true — the Chaldeans were coming — but Habakkuk was to live by faith. This same statement is repeated three times in the New Testament: "The just shall live by faith" (Romans 1 .-17; Galatians 3:11; Hebrews 1038). In other words, God didn't explain Why; instead He told Habakkuk to trust Him with all his Whys. Habakkuk was to trust God for what he didn't understand, what he couldn't see. He was to walk in the dark with God" (p. 192).
God often does not explain why. The righteous shall live by faith. God is not unaware of the troubles in the world, and the troubles we face. Sometimes the provision or the solution is immediate, while many times it takes a while. Personally, waiting on God while circumstances are impossible and time is growing limited is very difficult.
Chapter 3 of the text is one of the most beautiful expressions of faith in Scripture:
Though the fig tree should not blossom.
And there be no fruit on the vines.
Though the yield of the olive should fail,
And the fields produce no food.
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold,
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength.
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.
(Habakkuk 3:17-19, nasb)
The circumstances did not change, but somehow, some way, we see a movement from questioning God to praising God. Dillow suggests three things that happened.
He told his honest doubts to God.
He resolved to wait on God.
He chose to trust God in the dark. (p. 193)
I came across a beautifully-written song a year ago that has similar elements of doubt, and then the movement towards praise. I am not quite there yet. I want to move from fear to faith.
Yours
Steven Curtis Chapman
I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I'm reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is
I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They're waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours
And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar's hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize
That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father's world
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
You're the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it's all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours
It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours
We are almost to the end of the book. I really enjoyed this book and it has been so relevant, so encouraging and so challenging. I would like to continue journeying with you through a new book. Please provide some suggestions.
It is one of "those" days. The first e-mail I received in the morning was from one of the agencies where I interviewed twice. This agency was the farthest drive, 45 minutes one way. I was asked to come in twice. You can see where I am headed with this. The title of the message was internship. It was a short e-mail and those are usually the worst and it was. In polite language they said that they cannot accept me as an intern. Usually this should not be a big deal, but I forwarded the message to the director of field education at the college and she expressed her concerns that this is starting to become problematic. My peers all started their internships five weeks ago and I have been met with ten weeks of failed attempts. Yet, in this, the Lord is good. I received two phone calls from two different hospitals and had two interviews this week. I have no idea how it will turn out, but this situation is not in my control.
I far prefer the times when everything makes sense and things are going well.
"I personally prefer the "straight" times! I like to be able to see how everything is fitting together. The crooked times are difficult, not just because they're crooked but because we can't see how God is working. But those are the times that require faith. Remember, God is fitting things together even when we can't see. It just doesn't feel as good or as safe. The book of Ecclesiastes encourages us to rejoice when life is easy and to trust God when it isn't." (p. 186)
Consider the work of God, for who is able to straighten what He has bent? In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider — God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not discover anything that will be after him. (Ecclesiastes 7:13-14, nasb)
God has made both the times of prosperity as well as the times of adversity. Human nature far rather prefers the days of prosperity. We try so much to avoid the adversity. Recently I have had Romans 8:28 appear and reappear in my mind especially when the e-mail came in this morning.
"All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."'
Yet these situations God places in our lives do not stop us from asking the "why" questions and the "how long" questions. One of my most favorite minor prophets ponders such questions and Dillow reflects on his message.
"Habakkuk was different from the other Old Testament prophets who addressed either their own countrymen or a foreign people. Habakkuk talked to God alone. He was a man with a crooked situation. After the death of Josiah, the last godly king, the people worshiped false gods, and very little honor was given to Yahweh.
Moral corruption was rampant in judah, yet God was silent. Violence and lawlessness raged; God seemed unconcerned. It appeared that God was not working. Habakkuk came before God and asked the age-old questions that tear our hearts apart: "How long, O Lord?""Why, God? Why do You allow evil and wickedness to continue in Judah?" He prayed:" (p. 189).
How long, O Lord, will I call for help.
And Thou wilt not hear?
I cry out to Thee, "Violence!"
Yet Thou dost not save.
Why dost Thou make me see iniquity.
And cause me to look on wickedness?
Yes, destruction and violence are before me;
Strife exists and contention arises.
Therefore, the law is ignored
And justice is never upheld.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
Therefore, justice comes out perverted.
(Habakkuk 1:2-4, nasb)
The circumstances aren't too different from the ones we see here in the United States and around the world, rampant injustice. Volumes have been written from philosophers and Theologians and pastors about this issue of God's sovereignty and human evil, and the book does not go into the why of things but the how. God responds to the questions.
Then the Lord answered me and said,
"Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets.
That the one who reads it may run.
For the vision is yet for the appointed time:
It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay.
Behold, as for the proud one.
His soul is not right within him;
But the righteous will live by his faith."
(Habakkuk 2:2-4, nasb)
"God reaffirmed that what Habakkuk had heard was true — the Chaldeans were coming — but Habakkuk was to live by faith. This same statement is repeated three times in the New Testament: "The just shall live by faith" (Romans 1 .-17; Galatians 3:11; Hebrews 1038). In other words, God didn't explain Why; instead He told Habakkuk to trust Him with all his Whys. Habakkuk was to trust God for what he didn't understand, what he couldn't see. He was to walk in the dark with God" (p. 192).
God often does not explain why. The righteous shall live by faith. God is not unaware of the troubles in the world, and the troubles we face. Sometimes the provision or the solution is immediate, while many times it takes a while. Personally, waiting on God while circumstances are impossible and time is growing limited is very difficult.
Chapter 3 of the text is one of the most beautiful expressions of faith in Scripture:
Though the fig tree should not blossom.
And there be no fruit on the vines.
Though the yield of the olive should fail,
And the fields produce no food.
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold,
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength.
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.
(Habakkuk 3:17-19, nasb)
The circumstances did not change, but somehow, some way, we see a movement from questioning God to praising God. Dillow suggests three things that happened.
He told his honest doubts to God.
He resolved to wait on God.
He chose to trust God in the dark. (p. 193)
I came across a beautifully-written song a year ago that has similar elements of doubt, and then the movement towards praise. I am not quite there yet. I want to move from fear to faith.
Yours
Steven Curtis Chapman
I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I'm reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is
I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They're waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours
And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar's hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize
That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father's world
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
You're the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it's all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours
It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Trusting God with our portion, IF ONLY continued.
Another week, another interview. In less than two hours from now, I will be going to yet another interview at another organization, this time a hospital. I have no idea what to expect. I am four weeks into the summer period and still without a definite placement. Theoretically this will be the most relevant placement because out of all the places I have interviewed, this is directly related to my concentration.
"If we are to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty, we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by a personal and loving God. For most of us, this begins by refusing to contract the if Only disease" (p. 173).
Certainly there is a reason why God allows some things and not allow other things. So far, each interview, whether good or bad has resulted in no placement. It is the closed doors that are often the hardest to go through. Yet, open doors are not always a good thing for they can lead to heartache and disappointment if we are not seeking the Lord in those choices.
I always love reading devotional commentaries on certain sections of Scripture. One passage I love is the raising of the brother of Martha by Jesus in John 11:
"Wilma became so distraught over their situation, so paralyzed by the if Only, that on Easter she could not sing "He Lives." She felt God had deserted them. Alone in her drab kitchen, she turned to a pamphlet by A. B. Simpson titled, "The if in Your Life." She read the account of Lazarus's death and how Martha had said to Jesus. "Lord. If Only You had been here, my brother would not have died." And Jesus could have been there; He was not far away. He knew all about it and Lie let Lazarus die.
Wilma realized a great truth: There's an if in every life — something God could have done differently if He had chosen to do so. He has all power, yet He often allows that if to be there. God wanted to meet Wilma's if with His if just as He had for Martha. Jesus told Martha, "Did 1 not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40). Martha wanted Lazarus to be delivered from death; Christ wanted Lazarus to be triumphant over death.2" (pp. 174-175)
It is that last statement that really sticks out to me. Jesus wanted Lazarus triumph over death. Martha wanted her brother delivered from death. The rhetorical question is "which would bring God greater glory?" Certainly the raising of the dead would be a greater miracle. So often our prayers are so limited. We want God to do X but God wants to do Y and Y is the action that brings Him greater glory. I find it hard then to know what to ask except that in whatever happens that God would get the greatest glory. Death is no small matter. I can imagine the sadness Martha was feeling and the anger towards Jesus for letting her brother die. Yet, in that tragedy, Jesus was at work. Trusting God in those circumstances is incredibly challenging.
Dillow goes on to tell about a woman who finds the man of her dreams only to find several years into the marriage his continual adultery, apology and adultery again. She found out his middle name is charmer. Adultery itself is a kind of death. It is the death of trust and commitment. It is heartbreaking.
"Recently I received another letter from Darla and marveled at her continual growth. She said, "I'm trying to learn obedience and acquiescence to God's will in the tiniest details of my life. I don't want to waste any more of my life being sad and nonfunctioning because of my situation with my husband." Darla is choosing to trust God with her portion." (p. 177)
Dillow goes on to describe one of her favorite Psalms, PS 77. This is the key to trusting God.
Remembering the Deeds of the Lord
"We survive the packages of pain God allows in our lives by remembering who God is and what He has done in the past. When If Onlys invade my mind, when anguish fills my heart, I return to one of my favorite psalms. It is a place where God has met me time after time. Read Psalm 77 and hear the psalmist's pain-drenched words: "My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;... I was too troubled to speak. ... Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?" (Psalm 77:2-4.8-9).
These questions sound like my questions. But listen to how the psalmist's despair changes from pity to praise.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. (Psalm 77:11-14)
I will remember. This is a key to trusting God." (p. 179).
Well, God has done so much for me. He has kept me alive and sustained me for 30 years. He got me to this point. I got accepted into this graduate program. I made it through two semesters. Surely God will enable me to finish and provide all that is necessary.
Another week, another interview. In less than two hours from now, I will be going to yet another interview at another organization, this time a hospital. I have no idea what to expect. I am four weeks into the summer period and still without a definite placement. Theoretically this will be the most relevant placement because out of all the places I have interviewed, this is directly related to my concentration.
"If we are to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty, we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by a personal and loving God. For most of us, this begins by refusing to contract the if Only disease" (p. 173).
Certainly there is a reason why God allows some things and not allow other things. So far, each interview, whether good or bad has resulted in no placement. It is the closed doors that are often the hardest to go through. Yet, open doors are not always a good thing for they can lead to heartache and disappointment if we are not seeking the Lord in those choices.
I always love reading devotional commentaries on certain sections of Scripture. One passage I love is the raising of the brother of Martha by Jesus in John 11:
"Wilma became so distraught over their situation, so paralyzed by the if Only, that on Easter she could not sing "He Lives." She felt God had deserted them. Alone in her drab kitchen, she turned to a pamphlet by A. B. Simpson titled, "The if in Your Life." She read the account of Lazarus's death and how Martha had said to Jesus. "Lord. If Only You had been here, my brother would not have died." And Jesus could have been there; He was not far away. He knew all about it and Lie let Lazarus die.
Wilma realized a great truth: There's an if in every life — something God could have done differently if He had chosen to do so. He has all power, yet He often allows that if to be there. God wanted to meet Wilma's if with His if just as He had for Martha. Jesus told Martha, "Did 1 not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40). Martha wanted Lazarus to be delivered from death; Christ wanted Lazarus to be triumphant over death.2" (pp. 174-175)
It is that last statement that really sticks out to me. Jesus wanted Lazarus triumph over death. Martha wanted her brother delivered from death. The rhetorical question is "which would bring God greater glory?" Certainly the raising of the dead would be a greater miracle. So often our prayers are so limited. We want God to do X but God wants to do Y and Y is the action that brings Him greater glory. I find it hard then to know what to ask except that in whatever happens that God would get the greatest glory. Death is no small matter. I can imagine the sadness Martha was feeling and the anger towards Jesus for letting her brother die. Yet, in that tragedy, Jesus was at work. Trusting God in those circumstances is incredibly challenging.
Dillow goes on to tell about a woman who finds the man of her dreams only to find several years into the marriage his continual adultery, apology and adultery again. She found out his middle name is charmer. Adultery itself is a kind of death. It is the death of trust and commitment. It is heartbreaking.
"Recently I received another letter from Darla and marveled at her continual growth. She said, "I'm trying to learn obedience and acquiescence to God's will in the tiniest details of my life. I don't want to waste any more of my life being sad and nonfunctioning because of my situation with my husband." Darla is choosing to trust God with her portion." (p. 177)
Dillow goes on to describe one of her favorite Psalms, PS 77. This is the key to trusting God.
Remembering the Deeds of the Lord
"We survive the packages of pain God allows in our lives by remembering who God is and what He has done in the past. When If Onlys invade my mind, when anguish fills my heart, I return to one of my favorite psalms. It is a place where God has met me time after time. Read Psalm 77 and hear the psalmist's pain-drenched words: "My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;... I was too troubled to speak. ... Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?" (Psalm 77:2-4.8-9).
These questions sound like my questions. But listen to how the psalmist's despair changes from pity to praise.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. (Psalm 77:11-14)
I will remember. This is a key to trusting God." (p. 179).
Well, God has done so much for me. He has kept me alive and sustained me for 30 years. He got me to this point. I got accepted into this graduate program. I made it through two semesters. Surely God will enable me to finish and provide all that is necessary.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Spiritual Diseases
"Did you know there are spiritual diseases? Two of the deadliest are the "if" diseases. What if and if Only. These illnesses are fraternal twins, alike but not alike. Both lack the eyes of faith. What if looks to the future and worries about what God might allow. If Only looks to the past and grumbles about what God has given. The first leads to anxiety, the second to anger." (p. 157).
Trusting God has become increasingly challenging. The way dillow puts the two diseases, it seems like they are mutually exclusive. This morning, I am feeling like I have both. I have another interview this afternoon. I have had three previous ones with different agencies in the last three weeks. It has produced a zero result. This afternoon is a panel interview, my second one ever. A thousand "what if"s are circulating in my mind. The most common one is "what if they ask me a question I don't know how to answer?" Over the past couple of days I have been wondering, "if only I stayed in Sacramento". I certainly would not be in New York if I did. I am not quite to the point of anger, but it sure has not been an easy journey. I tend to ask the '"if only" question when things aren't well. If God would show me the positive outcome of me being here, then the "if only" would have no place. However, doing so would require no faith.
Dillow's text is Jeremiah 17:5-8:
This is what the Lord says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.” But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
"These verses present us with a contrast between a man who trusts in himself and another who not only trusts in the Lord but also makes the Lord his total trust.
First, let's look at the woman who makes flesh her strength. Surely, this is not a picture of me or you! We trust God! Or do we? When we turn to control, strategies, intelligence, and manipulation, we are trusting in ourselves. Instead of giving our anxious hearts to God, we handle the uncertainty of the What ifs of life by employing one of the control tactics mentioned above and we "help God out." Waiting is too hard, too painful, and God just works way too slow." (Dillow, 2007 p. 159)
I think of Abraham and God's promise of a son. However, years go by and there is no child. For those not familiar with the Genesis narrative, Abraham and Sarah are well advanced in years when the promise of a son is made and Sarah is barren. Sarah then offers her maidservant to her husband so that a child perhaps can come forth. I think Sarah's idea and then Abraham's willingness to listen to her advice shows that both did not totally understand that God would come through and so both decided they would help God out. Unfortunately for them, and for us, in helping God out, we rob God of His spectacular glory. We cannot manufacture miracles, only God can. It is so difficult though when a lot of time goes by and God hasn't yet shown up.
Dillow's prayer from Jeremiah 17
Oh God. You know my tendency to try to control and help You out. I know that "helping You out" is what leads to an anxious heart. Forgive me. I don't want to trust in my own strength, in my strategies. I don't want to control or manipulate. Please, God. teach me what it means to not only trust You but make You my total trust. I long to become that blessed woman whose roots are planted deep by Your river. As the heat of the trials increase, I long to trust instead of fear, to be content instead of anxious. Please keep my eyes focused on You so that my leaves will stay green and fruit will be produced in the midst of the What ifs. (pp. 159-160).
Where is our focus?
"Isaiah 41.10 declares, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." We can only trust God when our focus is on Him and not on our circumstances." (p. 160).
Dillow has three steps with the circumstances that produce worry:
1. Ask yourself what is the worst that can possibly happen.
2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst. (p. 163).
In my situation this afternoon it would be that the interview would be a disaster. I would not be able to work there. I would need to find another place. In the grand scheme of things it does not seem that bad, but it does not make the situation any easier. The place is about a 45 minute drive away which means about 90 minutes round trip. Towards the end of the chapter Dillow quotes the serenity prayer. I find it encouraging to meditate over.
God grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
So, what are your "what if"s? Give them to God and trust that He is in control.
Salvation belongs to our God
Who sits upon the throne
And unto the Lamb
Praise and glory
Wisdom and thanks
Honor and power and strength
Be to our God forever and ever
Be to our God forever and ever
"Did you know there are spiritual diseases? Two of the deadliest are the "if" diseases. What if and if Only. These illnesses are fraternal twins, alike but not alike. Both lack the eyes of faith. What if looks to the future and worries about what God might allow. If Only looks to the past and grumbles about what God has given. The first leads to anxiety, the second to anger." (p. 157).
Trusting God has become increasingly challenging. The way dillow puts the two diseases, it seems like they are mutually exclusive. This morning, I am feeling like I have both. I have another interview this afternoon. I have had three previous ones with different agencies in the last three weeks. It has produced a zero result. This afternoon is a panel interview, my second one ever. A thousand "what if"s are circulating in my mind. The most common one is "what if they ask me a question I don't know how to answer?" Over the past couple of days I have been wondering, "if only I stayed in Sacramento". I certainly would not be in New York if I did. I am not quite to the point of anger, but it sure has not been an easy journey. I tend to ask the '"if only" question when things aren't well. If God would show me the positive outcome of me being here, then the "if only" would have no place. However, doing so would require no faith.
Dillow's text is Jeremiah 17:5-8:
This is what the Lord says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.” But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
"These verses present us with a contrast between a man who trusts in himself and another who not only trusts in the Lord but also makes the Lord his total trust.
First, let's look at the woman who makes flesh her strength. Surely, this is not a picture of me or you! We trust God! Or do we? When we turn to control, strategies, intelligence, and manipulation, we are trusting in ourselves. Instead of giving our anxious hearts to God, we handle the uncertainty of the What ifs of life by employing one of the control tactics mentioned above and we "help God out." Waiting is too hard, too painful, and God just works way too slow." (Dillow, 2007 p. 159)
I think of Abraham and God's promise of a son. However, years go by and there is no child. For those not familiar with the Genesis narrative, Abraham and Sarah are well advanced in years when the promise of a son is made and Sarah is barren. Sarah then offers her maidservant to her husband so that a child perhaps can come forth. I think Sarah's idea and then Abraham's willingness to listen to her advice shows that both did not totally understand that God would come through and so both decided they would help God out. Unfortunately for them, and for us, in helping God out, we rob God of His spectacular glory. We cannot manufacture miracles, only God can. It is so difficult though when a lot of time goes by and God hasn't yet shown up.
Dillow's prayer from Jeremiah 17
Oh God. You know my tendency to try to control and help You out. I know that "helping You out" is what leads to an anxious heart. Forgive me. I don't want to trust in my own strength, in my strategies. I don't want to control or manipulate. Please, God. teach me what it means to not only trust You but make You my total trust. I long to become that blessed woman whose roots are planted deep by Your river. As the heat of the trials increase, I long to trust instead of fear, to be content instead of anxious. Please keep my eyes focused on You so that my leaves will stay green and fruit will be produced in the midst of the What ifs. (pp. 159-160).
Where is our focus?
"Isaiah 41.10 declares, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." We can only trust God when our focus is on Him and not on our circumstances." (p. 160).
Dillow has three steps with the circumstances that produce worry:
1. Ask yourself what is the worst that can possibly happen.
2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst. (p. 163).
In my situation this afternoon it would be that the interview would be a disaster. I would not be able to work there. I would need to find another place. In the grand scheme of things it does not seem that bad, but it does not make the situation any easier. The place is about a 45 minute drive away which means about 90 minutes round trip. Towards the end of the chapter Dillow quotes the serenity prayer. I find it encouraging to meditate over.
God grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
So, what are your "what if"s? Give them to God and trust that He is in control.
Salvation belongs to our God
Who sits upon the throne
And unto the Lamb
Praise and glory
Wisdom and thanks
Honor and power and strength
Be to our God forever and ever
Be to our God forever and ever
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Journey of Faith
It has been quite a long journey to get to where we are at. The book began by stating that contentment exists outside of our circumstances. Discontentment happens no matter what circumstances we are in whether rich or poor, married or single, old or young. The next few chapters discussed areas where we need contentment, our circumstances, our selves, our roles and our relationships. The last three chapters dealt with the three roadblocks of contentment, greed, having the wrong focus, and worry. Dillow (2007) shifts direction and discusses the opposite of worry, faith.
Dillow quotes the familiar verse from Hebrews 11 that defines faith:
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen"
Like Dillow, I think to myself, what exactly does that mean. I mean it sounds nice. What does it mean to be sure of what we hope for? What kinds of things can we hope for that we can be sure about? How can we have conviction of things we cannot see? I am sure others have a list of other questions. It is a rather abstract and unclear promise.
Dillow helps uss out with the definition:
"In the early 1900s, scholars uncovered thousands of letters, receipts, and other documents from a two-thousand-year-old Greek colony. This word assurance appeared many times. Literally translated it means "title deed." A title deed is something we own." (p. 142)
To better understand faith, Dillow uses the classic illustration of the man on the tightrope who walks across with a dog in a wheelbarrow across Niagara Falls. He does this successfully once and then asks the crowd who wants to get in the wheelbarrow. We applaud the man who does this successfully with the dog, but volunteering ourselves to be pushed requires a lot of faith. The greater the task, the greater the faith. In this case, our lives are on the line at the mercy of a stranger. The illustration shows the difference between intellectual faith and wholehearted faith. We know the man can get the job done in our minds, but wholehearted faith means raising our hand to be that volunteer.
God urges us to trust Him:
"God does not demand that you and I have blind faith, but abandoned faith, a faith that trusts Him fully. Through His Word, God willingly reveals much about who He is, what His plans are, and what He requires of us. As we come to see Him and know Him, He urges, "Trust Me." Hundreds of times in the Bible God implores us to trust Him." (p. 143)
Dillow states two important things. 1. Faith is rooted in God's character, and faith is based on God's word and not our feelings. (p. 143)
She goes on later to quote Psalm 18, verse 2. These are some amazing statements about who God is and that He is trustworthy.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (PS 18:2).
Dillow makes a statement about God that shatters the grip of doubt.
"How much easier to get in when we're confident that the One we entrust ourselves to is in control, is wise, and cares deeply for us. (p. 145).
Dillow's prayer is the prayer I have for myself. My internship situation is still not clear, I have 200 hours to fulfill, and a tiny light of hope. I am trusting God to provide where I cannot.
"God, you know my feelings are going haywire; they scream and shout that this situation is terrible and that there is no hope. God, I hope in You. I can't see what You are doing, but 1 trust that You're working this situation together for good. Thank You that You have promised to use it to make me more like Christ. This is what I want ¦- it just doesn't feel good today. Give me the strength to focus my eyes on You and not on what I can see." (p. 148).
Make My Life A Prayer
Make my life a prayer to you
I wanna do what you want me to
No empty words and no white lies
No token prayers no compromise
I wanna shine the light you gave
Thru your son you sent to save us
From ourselves and our despair
It comforts me to know you're really there
Chorus
Well I wann thank you know
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trus
And just believe what you say
Oh you're coming again
[Make My Life a Prayer
I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave me
The love that set me free
I wanna tell the world out there
You're not some fable or fairy tale
That I've made up inside my head
You're God the son and you've risen from the dead
Chorus
I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave me
The love that set me free
It has been quite a long journey to get to where we are at. The book began by stating that contentment exists outside of our circumstances. Discontentment happens no matter what circumstances we are in whether rich or poor, married or single, old or young. The next few chapters discussed areas where we need contentment, our circumstances, our selves, our roles and our relationships. The last three chapters dealt with the three roadblocks of contentment, greed, having the wrong focus, and worry. Dillow (2007) shifts direction and discusses the opposite of worry, faith.
Dillow quotes the familiar verse from Hebrews 11 that defines faith:
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen"
Like Dillow, I think to myself, what exactly does that mean. I mean it sounds nice. What does it mean to be sure of what we hope for? What kinds of things can we hope for that we can be sure about? How can we have conviction of things we cannot see? I am sure others have a list of other questions. It is a rather abstract and unclear promise.
Dillow helps uss out with the definition:
"In the early 1900s, scholars uncovered thousands of letters, receipts, and other documents from a two-thousand-year-old Greek colony. This word assurance appeared many times. Literally translated it means "title deed." A title deed is something we own." (p. 142)
To better understand faith, Dillow uses the classic illustration of the man on the tightrope who walks across with a dog in a wheelbarrow across Niagara Falls. He does this successfully once and then asks the crowd who wants to get in the wheelbarrow. We applaud the man who does this successfully with the dog, but volunteering ourselves to be pushed requires a lot of faith. The greater the task, the greater the faith. In this case, our lives are on the line at the mercy of a stranger. The illustration shows the difference between intellectual faith and wholehearted faith. We know the man can get the job done in our minds, but wholehearted faith means raising our hand to be that volunteer.
God urges us to trust Him:
"God does not demand that you and I have blind faith, but abandoned faith, a faith that trusts Him fully. Through His Word, God willingly reveals much about who He is, what His plans are, and what He requires of us. As we come to see Him and know Him, He urges, "Trust Me." Hundreds of times in the Bible God implores us to trust Him." (p. 143)
Dillow states two important things. 1. Faith is rooted in God's character, and faith is based on God's word and not our feelings. (p. 143)
She goes on later to quote Psalm 18, verse 2. These are some amazing statements about who God is and that He is trustworthy.
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. (PS 18:2).
Dillow makes a statement about God that shatters the grip of doubt.
"How much easier to get in when we're confident that the One we entrust ourselves to is in control, is wise, and cares deeply for us. (p. 145).
Dillow's prayer is the prayer I have for myself. My internship situation is still not clear, I have 200 hours to fulfill, and a tiny light of hope. I am trusting God to provide where I cannot.
"God, you know my feelings are going haywire; they scream and shout that this situation is terrible and that there is no hope. God, I hope in You. I can't see what You are doing, but 1 trust that You're working this situation together for good. Thank You that You have promised to use it to make me more like Christ. This is what I want ¦- it just doesn't feel good today. Give me the strength to focus my eyes on You and not on what I can see." (p. 148).
Make My Life A Prayer
Make my life a prayer to you
I wanna do what you want me to
No empty words and no white lies
No token prayers no compromise
I wanna shine the light you gave
Thru your son you sent to save us
From ourselves and our despair
It comforts me to know you're really there
Chorus
Well I wann thank you know
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trus
And just believe what you say
Oh you're coming again
[Make My Life a Prayer
I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave me
The love that set me free
I wanna tell the world out there
You're not some fable or fairy tale
That I've made up inside my head
You're God the son and you've risen from the dead
Chorus
I wanna die and let you give
Your life to me so I might live
And share the hope you gave me
The love that set me free
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Trusting in God’s care
(Dillow, 2007) compiled a list of quotes about worry. I really like the first one:
"Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere" (Dillow, 2007 p. 123).
That is so true. Worry is one of the most unproductive things to do. In fact worry is quite counter productive. Worry gets us nowhere. In fact, it can often get us further along. My current worry: first week into summer school and I am still without a field placement. I worry a lot about this because if I can't locate one, I cannot progress in the program. It is a real concern, but worry does not help.
What Dillow says next is powerful:
"When we worry, we're saying, "God can't." If we are walking in anxiety, we're not walking in faith. We want to be women of faith, yet often worry becomes our middle name. We know the agony of its clutches. We're familiar with the small trickle of fear that meanders through our minds until it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. We must conquer this "God can't" disease" (Dillow, 2007 p. 123).
It is so true. Worry means I don't think God is going to come through. Faith is the opposite of worry. If I totally think God is going to come through, there is no reason to worry. For me, and in this particular situation it is a matter of patience and waiting. I know God has come through for me before, but He is taking an especially long time this time.
Dillow points to the familiar text from Jesus on worry:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear'' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (emphasis mine) (MT. 6:25-34)
We are told several times to not worry. I think the excessive repetition means that Jesus really wants us to listen.
"Instead of being anxious, we are to fix our focus on God and His righteousness. Verse 34 gives a key to worry-free living. The Living Bible makes it crystal clear: "So don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time." Certainly, we are to pray, plan, and prepare for tomorrow, but we are not to worry about what might happen. The load of tomorrow added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes even the strongest woman stumble. We are to entrust all our tomorrows to Him and live just today. Walking with God through today's twenty-four hours is difficult enough "(Dillow, 2007 p. 131).
The question goes back to a running theme throughout this book, where is my focus. Am I fixing my gaze on God or on the situation I am concerned about. Often, the situation seems so much bigger than God.
Dillow then points us to 1 Peter 5:6-7:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I think we focus a lot on the second part. Many of us who have grown up in Christian circles have memorized v. 7. Dillow provides a comment on the previous verse.
"What does it mean to humble ourselves before the mighty hand of God? Humility means to have total trust in God alone. It is the surrender of our total being— intellect, emotion, will, plans, and judgments. It is relinquishing everything. For me, humbling myself involves yielding to God as the Blessed Controller of whatever situation or person is causing me anxiety: (Dillow, 2007 p. 132).
A surrender of my total being to God in this situation. That really places things into perspective. God knows what is best in this situation, His timing, His method, His provision. Total surrender means trusting that God knows what He is doing. We can apply this in every area of our lives. For us singe adults, it is trusting that God will provide in His timing even though the odds seem to be stacked up as years go by.
Dillow tells about a wonderful idea that we can use as a spiritual practice. She calls it her anxiety box. These are anxieties she prays through:
"Every time I see the box, stuffed with my worries, I'm reminded that God is carrying them, not me. Once or twice a year I open my box and read through the worries. I thank God for the ones He has taken care of. The others I put back in the heart-shaped box and entrust them to His timing" (Dillow, 2007 p. 134).
I love the idea. It reminds us of the things God has taken care of and it teaches us to trust us with the items that are still in the box. This is a really good reminder that God cares for us.
The song “Enough” is my prayer and song of praise this week.
Enough
You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know.
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know.
And all of you
Is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough
You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know.
You're my coming King
You're my everything
Still more awesome than I know.
And all of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough
You are more than enough.
More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough.
All of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you. (Oh Yeah)
And all I have in you. (Jesus)
And all I have in you is more than enough.
More than enough.
(Dillow, 2007) compiled a list of quotes about worry. I really like the first one:
"Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to do but it won't get you anywhere" (Dillow, 2007 p. 123).
That is so true. Worry is one of the most unproductive things to do. In fact worry is quite counter productive. Worry gets us nowhere. In fact, it can often get us further along. My current worry: first week into summer school and I am still without a field placement. I worry a lot about this because if I can't locate one, I cannot progress in the program. It is a real concern, but worry does not help.
What Dillow says next is powerful:
"When we worry, we're saying, "God can't." If we are walking in anxiety, we're not walking in faith. We want to be women of faith, yet often worry becomes our middle name. We know the agony of its clutches. We're familiar with the small trickle of fear that meanders through our minds until it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. We must conquer this "God can't" disease" (Dillow, 2007 p. 123).
It is so true. Worry means I don't think God is going to come through. Faith is the opposite of worry. If I totally think God is going to come through, there is no reason to worry. For me, and in this particular situation it is a matter of patience and waiting. I know God has come through for me before, but He is taking an especially long time this time.
Dillow points to the familiar text from Jesus on worry:
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear'' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (emphasis mine) (MT. 6:25-34)
We are told several times to not worry. I think the excessive repetition means that Jesus really wants us to listen.
"Instead of being anxious, we are to fix our focus on God and His righteousness. Verse 34 gives a key to worry-free living. The Living Bible makes it crystal clear: "So don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow too. Live one day at a time." Certainly, we are to pray, plan, and prepare for tomorrow, but we are not to worry about what might happen. The load of tomorrow added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes even the strongest woman stumble. We are to entrust all our tomorrows to Him and live just today. Walking with God through today's twenty-four hours is difficult enough "(Dillow, 2007 p. 131).
The question goes back to a running theme throughout this book, where is my focus. Am I fixing my gaze on God or on the situation I am concerned about. Often, the situation seems so much bigger than God.
Dillow then points us to 1 Peter 5:6-7:
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I think we focus a lot on the second part. Many of us who have grown up in Christian circles have memorized v. 7. Dillow provides a comment on the previous verse.
"What does it mean to humble ourselves before the mighty hand of God? Humility means to have total trust in God alone. It is the surrender of our total being— intellect, emotion, will, plans, and judgments. It is relinquishing everything. For me, humbling myself involves yielding to God as the Blessed Controller of whatever situation or person is causing me anxiety: (Dillow, 2007 p. 132).
A surrender of my total being to God in this situation. That really places things into perspective. God knows what is best in this situation, His timing, His method, His provision. Total surrender means trusting that God knows what He is doing. We can apply this in every area of our lives. For us singe adults, it is trusting that God will provide in His timing even though the odds seem to be stacked up as years go by.
Dillow tells about a wonderful idea that we can use as a spiritual practice. She calls it her anxiety box. These are anxieties she prays through:
"Every time I see the box, stuffed with my worries, I'm reminded that God is carrying them, not me. Once or twice a year I open my box and read through the worries. I thank God for the ones He has taken care of. The others I put back in the heart-shaped box and entrust them to His timing" (Dillow, 2007 p. 134).
I love the idea. It reminds us of the things God has taken care of and it teaches us to trust us with the items that are still in the box. This is a really good reminder that God cares for us.
The song “Enough” is my prayer and song of praise this week.
Enough
You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know.
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know.
And all of you
Is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough
You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know.
You're my coming King
You're my everything
Still more awesome than I know.
And all of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough
You are more than enough.
More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough.
All of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you. (Oh Yeah)
And all I have in you. (Jesus)
And all I have in you is more than enough.
More than enough.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Where is my focus?
Self-reflection appears to grow with alarming intensity as I near the close of my 20s. Yes, in about a week, I can no longer say I am in my 20s. This week will likely pass with no thrilling excursions, no to-do list / things to accomplish. Sadly, the day of my birthday will likely be the most ordinary birthday I have ever had. I will be in Rochester, 3000 miles away from home, away from family, friends, and my beloved community, and for the first time. No one will sing happy birthday, there will be no cake, and the only friends I have in grad school have all returned home. This week has the components of being quite depressing.
These things can and do happen whether we want it or not. Disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, unrealized dreams, they can and do happen. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I turn 30, and I am sure many in their 20s do as well. I wanted to be married with two kids and a stable job before 30. I wanted to know my purpose and calling before I turn 30. Many days when I am here, I feel like I am simply enduring the present.
"Psychologist William Marston asked three thousand people, "What do you have to live for?" He was shocked to discover that 94 percent were simply enduring the present while waiting for the future.2 Because 1 desire to be a woman of purpose, I often ask myself. "Linda, are you living life with a myopic focus? Are you in a waiting mode?" (Dillow, 2007 p. 108)
One way is simply endure the present while waiting for the future. The other way is to live in the present but focus on the past. The poem that Dillow shares from a 14-year-old boy tells the story of living in the present but wanting the future.
It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days
and the great outdoors. It was summer but it was fall I wanted; the colorful
leaves and the cool dry air.
It was fall but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow
and the joy of the holiday season. It was now winter but it was spring 1 wanted; the warmth
and the blossoming of nature. I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom
and the respect. I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and
sophisticated. I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth
and the free spirit. I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the
presence of mind without limitations. My life was over but I never got what I wanted." (p. 108-109).
Dillow asks a good question and raises an alarming reality:
"If someone were to ask us where we're headed, we'd probably answer, "Soccer practice." We get so caught up with our kids' schedules, our car pools, our careers, our fears, our problems that we lose sight of the bigger picture. We've forgotten who we are and that we're here for a reason. We don't stop to think about what we do; and worse, we don't even pray about it." (p. 109)
Where am I headed? To class. To church. To my internship. I am guilty of being preoccupied with the task at hand. There always seems to be a paper to write, a group project to work on, a lesson plan to prepare. What is the bigger picture?
Dillow makes a proposal:
"We must correct our faulty focus and become women of purpose. A good way to begin is with a purpose statement that defines what we believe and where we want to be." (p. 110).
According to Dillow, there are two elements of a purpose statement, figuring out what we believe and figuring out where we want to be. She provides some examples.
"Jonathan Edwards wrote his life purpose statement in the form of resolutions. Betty Scott Stam wrote hers in the form of prayer:
Lord. I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.5" (p. 111)
The prayer shows what she believes. We see a total surrender to the Lordship of Jesus. Consequently, we do not see her saying where she wants to be at in ten years. She leaves it up to God.
Dillow goes into four stories of four different women who were intentional about their purpose and purpose statement. I really enjoy the first story, Phyllis.
Phyllis prayed for life-purpose in the midst of her chaos and confusion. God gave her Philippians 3:10, an excellent life-verse.
"For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressive!}' become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly" "AMP"
I love what Phyllis says, that her children are not her purpose, but her platform. Her purpose is continually in progress. Her purpose transcends her children. Listen to the crafting of her purpose statement:
"I began with a verse, and years later God gave me four words that clarified my purpose." The words were: purposely, faithfully, creatively, and paradoxically.
Today, Phyllis's life purpose reads like this:
I want to live my life very purposely, regularly reviewing and praying over my purpose in life, loving God intensely, cherishing and inspiring my husband, praying for and keeping connected spiritually with my children, loving women and seeking to lay spiritual foundations in their lives.
I want to live faithfully, believing God for what I cannot see. I want to believe that God can do in my children's lives what I cannot do.
1 want to live creatively, creating beauty and warmth in my home, around my table, and in my Bible study. Creativity adds sparkle to a focused, purposeful life.
I want to live paradoxically. I want to go against my selfish nature, against our culture, giving a little bit more than 1 feel like giving, going the second mile, being like Jesus.6" (p. 112-113).
Amazing! Don't you want to meet Phyllis? As I read her purpose statement, I think, this is the kind of person I want as my spiritual mentor, my spiritual mom, a woman of God who really lives for Him. What a living witness to her loving Lord!
As I think about her statement, I think it must have come out of a lot of prayer and searching. Over the past few months in grad school my life-verse has reemerged and then gone into hiding. It is broad enough to be a life-verse, but it is also quite intimidating. I suppose that is what makes it a life-verse: that we never fully accomplish its content.
6 With what shall I come before the LORD,
And bow myself before the High God?
Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings,
With calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
Ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
8 He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God? (Mic 6:6-8).
The perfect Christian social worker life-verse in my opinion.
One of the speakers from the conference yesterday made reference to a passage in Jeremiah 9 and then 22. Both passages have a similar point. Jeremiah nine is saying what it means to know God. The kind of knowing is not just knowledge. It is not just Bible study and Sunday school and Bible reading. Jeremiah 22 records a long judgment on a king who did what was wrong even though God had spoken to him.
11 For this is what the LORD says about Shallum son of Josiah, who succeeded his father as king of Judah but has gone from this place: "He will never return. 12 He will die in the place where they have led him captive; he will not see this land again."
13 "Woe to him who builds his palace by unrighteousness,
his upper rooms by injustice,
making his countrymen work for nothing,
not paying them for their labor.
14 He says, 'I will build myself a great palace
with spacious upper rooms.'
So he makes large windows in it,
panels it with cedar
and decorates it in red.
15 "Does it make you a king
to have more and more cedar?
Did not your father have food and drink?
He did what was right and just,
so all went well with him.
16 He defended the cause of the poor and needy,
and so all went well.
Is that not what it means to know me?"
declares the LORD.
17 "But your eyes and your heart
are set only on dishonest gain,
on shedding innocent blood
and on oppression and extortion." (Jer 22:11-17).
The speaker's point from the conference focused not on the judgment, but on v. 16, what it means to know God, defending the cause of the poor and needy. Knowing God, really knowing God is to know His heart, and in Jer 9:22-23 it says His delight is in exercising justice, righteousness, and loving kindness on the earth. Doing God's will is doing what He delights in. I want my life to be about that, doing what is just, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him.
Dillow closes with a powerful story that has effected her desire to live with a fixed focus. This is Hebrews 12:2 being lived out. This is really life is about and where our focus should be:
"The following story has deeply affected my desire to live with a fixed focus. I will call this woman Mattie. Throughout her life, Mattie cherished and depended on the Word of God. committing to memory many verses from her worn King James Bible. Her life verse was 2 Timothy 1:12: "For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
As Mattie grew older, her memory faded and details eluded her. Even the beloved faces of her family slipped from recognition. Finally, she was confined to bed in a nursing home. When her family and friends would visit Mattie, they would find her still quoting verses of Scripture, especially her well-loved life verse. But with the passing of time, even parts of this most special verse began to slip away. "I know whom I have believed," she would say. "He is able to keep . .. what I have committed ... to Him." As Mattie grew weaker, the verse grew even shorter: "What I have committed ... to Him."
As Mattie lay dying, her voice became so weak that her family had to strain to hear the whispered words. There was only one word left of her life verse: "Him." Mattie whispered it again and again as she neared the gates of heaven. "Him . .. Him . . , Him." He was all that was left. He was all that was needed. Her life focus was Him.12" (p. 119)
prayer / song of worship
One Pure and Holy Passion
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Self-reflection appears to grow with alarming intensity as I near the close of my 20s. Yes, in about a week, I can no longer say I am in my 20s. This week will likely pass with no thrilling excursions, no to-do list / things to accomplish. Sadly, the day of my birthday will likely be the most ordinary birthday I have ever had. I will be in Rochester, 3000 miles away from home, away from family, friends, and my beloved community, and for the first time. No one will sing happy birthday, there will be no cake, and the only friends I have in grad school have all returned home. This week has the components of being quite depressing.
These things can and do happen whether we want it or not. Disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, unrealized dreams, they can and do happen. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I turn 30, and I am sure many in their 20s do as well. I wanted to be married with two kids and a stable job before 30. I wanted to know my purpose and calling before I turn 30. Many days when I am here, I feel like I am simply enduring the present.
"Psychologist William Marston asked three thousand people, "What do you have to live for?" He was shocked to discover that 94 percent were simply enduring the present while waiting for the future.2 Because 1 desire to be a woman of purpose, I often ask myself. "Linda, are you living life with a myopic focus? Are you in a waiting mode?" (Dillow, 2007 p. 108)
One way is simply endure the present while waiting for the future. The other way is to live in the present but focus on the past. The poem that Dillow shares from a 14-year-old boy tells the story of living in the present but wanting the future.
It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days
and the great outdoors. It was summer but it was fall I wanted; the colorful
leaves and the cool dry air.
It was fall but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow
and the joy of the holiday season. It was now winter but it was spring 1 wanted; the warmth
and the blossoming of nature. I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom
and the respect. I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and
sophisticated. I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth
and the free spirit. I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the
presence of mind without limitations. My life was over but I never got what I wanted." (p. 108-109).
Dillow asks a good question and raises an alarming reality:
"If someone were to ask us where we're headed, we'd probably answer, "Soccer practice." We get so caught up with our kids' schedules, our car pools, our careers, our fears, our problems that we lose sight of the bigger picture. We've forgotten who we are and that we're here for a reason. We don't stop to think about what we do; and worse, we don't even pray about it." (p. 109)
Where am I headed? To class. To church. To my internship. I am guilty of being preoccupied with the task at hand. There always seems to be a paper to write, a group project to work on, a lesson plan to prepare. What is the bigger picture?
Dillow makes a proposal:
"We must correct our faulty focus and become women of purpose. A good way to begin is with a purpose statement that defines what we believe and where we want to be." (p. 110).
According to Dillow, there are two elements of a purpose statement, figuring out what we believe and figuring out where we want to be. She provides some examples.
"Jonathan Edwards wrote his life purpose statement in the form of resolutions. Betty Scott Stam wrote hers in the form of prayer:
Lord. I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.5" (p. 111)
The prayer shows what she believes. We see a total surrender to the Lordship of Jesus. Consequently, we do not see her saying where she wants to be at in ten years. She leaves it up to God.
Dillow goes into four stories of four different women who were intentional about their purpose and purpose statement. I really enjoy the first story, Phyllis.
Phyllis prayed for life-purpose in the midst of her chaos and confusion. God gave her Philippians 3:10, an excellent life-verse.
"For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressive!}' become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly" "AMP"
I love what Phyllis says, that her children are not her purpose, but her platform. Her purpose is continually in progress. Her purpose transcends her children. Listen to the crafting of her purpose statement:
"I began with a verse, and years later God gave me four words that clarified my purpose." The words were: purposely, faithfully, creatively, and paradoxically.
Today, Phyllis's life purpose reads like this:
I want to live my life very purposely, regularly reviewing and praying over my purpose in life, loving God intensely, cherishing and inspiring my husband, praying for and keeping connected spiritually with my children, loving women and seeking to lay spiritual foundations in their lives.
I want to live faithfully, believing God for what I cannot see. I want to believe that God can do in my children's lives what I cannot do.
1 want to live creatively, creating beauty and warmth in my home, around my table, and in my Bible study. Creativity adds sparkle to a focused, purposeful life.
I want to live paradoxically. I want to go against my selfish nature, against our culture, giving a little bit more than 1 feel like giving, going the second mile, being like Jesus.6" (p. 112-113).
Amazing! Don't you want to meet Phyllis? As I read her purpose statement, I think, this is the kind of person I want as my spiritual mentor, my spiritual mom, a woman of God who really lives for Him. What a living witness to her loving Lord!
As I think about her statement, I think it must have come out of a lot of prayer and searching. Over the past few months in grad school my life-verse has reemerged and then gone into hiding. It is broad enough to be a life-verse, but it is also quite intimidating. I suppose that is what makes it a life-verse: that we never fully accomplish its content.
6 With what shall I come before the LORD,
And bow myself before the High God?
Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings,
With calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
Ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
8 He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God? (Mic 6:6-8).
The perfect Christian social worker life-verse in my opinion.
One of the speakers from the conference yesterday made reference to a passage in Jeremiah 9 and then 22. Both passages have a similar point. Jeremiah nine is saying what it means to know God. The kind of knowing is not just knowledge. It is not just Bible study and Sunday school and Bible reading. Jeremiah 22 records a long judgment on a king who did what was wrong even though God had spoken to him.
11 For this is what the LORD says about Shallum son of Josiah, who succeeded his father as king of Judah but has gone from this place: "He will never return. 12 He will die in the place where they have led him captive; he will not see this land again."
13 "Woe to him who builds his palace by unrighteousness,
his upper rooms by injustice,
making his countrymen work for nothing,
not paying them for their labor.
14 He says, 'I will build myself a great palace
with spacious upper rooms.'
So he makes large windows in it,
panels it with cedar
and decorates it in red.
15 "Does it make you a king
to have more and more cedar?
Did not your father have food and drink?
He did what was right and just,
so all went well with him.
16 He defended the cause of the poor and needy,
and so all went well.
Is that not what it means to know me?"
declares the LORD.
17 "But your eyes and your heart
are set only on dishonest gain,
on shedding innocent blood
and on oppression and extortion." (Jer 22:11-17).
The speaker's point from the conference focused not on the judgment, but on v. 16, what it means to know God, defending the cause of the poor and needy. Knowing God, really knowing God is to know His heart, and in Jer 9:22-23 it says His delight is in exercising justice, righteousness, and loving kindness on the earth. Doing God's will is doing what He delights in. I want my life to be about that, doing what is just, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him.
Dillow closes with a powerful story that has effected her desire to live with a fixed focus. This is Hebrews 12:2 being lived out. This is really life is about and where our focus should be:
"The following story has deeply affected my desire to live with a fixed focus. I will call this woman Mattie. Throughout her life, Mattie cherished and depended on the Word of God. committing to memory many verses from her worn King James Bible. Her life verse was 2 Timothy 1:12: "For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
As Mattie grew older, her memory faded and details eluded her. Even the beloved faces of her family slipped from recognition. Finally, she was confined to bed in a nursing home. When her family and friends would visit Mattie, they would find her still quoting verses of Scripture, especially her well-loved life verse. But with the passing of time, even parts of this most special verse began to slip away. "I know whom I have believed," she would say. "He is able to keep . .. what I have committed ... to Him." As Mattie grew weaker, the verse grew even shorter: "What I have committed ... to Him."
As Mattie lay dying, her voice became so weak that her family had to strain to hear the whispered words. There was only one word left of her life verse: "Him." Mattie whispered it again and again as she neared the gates of heaven. "Him . .. Him . . , Him." He was all that was left. He was all that was needed. Her life focus was Him.12" (p. 119)
prayer / song of worship
One Pure and Holy Passion
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Content With What I have
God has really worked on my ability to accept what He has given over these seven months away from home. I am living in an apartment for the first time in my life. It is not a large apartment. The living space is smaller than the size of my living room in Sacramento. No back yard, no front yard, no garage. There is just one bathroom and it is quite small. It was really hard to adjust at first. I cannot lie, I was quite disappointed when I did a walk through of the place the first time. In my mind, I was thinking, I can't believe I am going to be living here. I am not one who wants a big house, but it would be nice to have a little bit more space.
"Whether we crave inexpensive treasures or designer creations, the issue is the same: greed. When we purchase more than we can afford, we are discontent with what God has given. We no longer trust that God knows best and that He will supply our needs. How do we keep our hearts centered on God, with a thankfulness for what He has given, instead of acquiring more and more? The only way is to keep His perspective in our hearts, to burn it into our minds." (Dillow, 2007 p. 92).
That is the issue. How can I be content with what God has given and provided. The earthquake in Japan really helps to put things into perspective. Thousands dead, many more homeless in cold temperatures. Wherever we live, if we have a roof over our heads, we are blessed. I think in modern times in industrialized nations it is hard to distinguish between need and greed.
I love Dillow's principles on possessions. (p. 92)
1. Everything belongs to God. "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours. O Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. . . . Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand" (i Chronicles 29:11-14, italics mine).
That really changes things. This place that I inhabit, its not mine. Well, it really isn't mine because I pay rent, but neither is the house in Sacramento. It has the name of my parents, but even still it is not the possession of my parents. Everything belongs to God. That puts tremendous responsibility on us to take care of it and to be thankful for it. One might say it is by my own hard work that I have what I have. Yet, the believer knows that God both gives us the skills and abilities to work and the opportunity to do what we are doing. He also placed us in the geographical location where we are at. I cannot imagine what life would be like if I was in a country that does not value democracy and capitalism.
Principle #2 (p. 93).
2. Heart attitude is the issue. Psalm 62:10 says, "Though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them." God cares about where your heart is, where your treasure is. Listen to Jesus' words:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)
That is a penetrating question. Where is my heart? Where is your heart? Sadly, my focus sometimes is on the heavenly treasure because it is so much more immediate. Right now, I am looking for work and the process has been long and hard at times. But for the one who is employed, there is an equal warning to not desire the accumulation of more at the expense of forgetting God.
Dillow asks a powerful question to assess where our treasure is. She asks us to take inventory of what we own and then:
"Suppose this treasure were lost, destroyed, or stolen tomorrow. Would I miss it to the point that it would harm my trust in God, my contentment, or my relationships? If the answer is yes. then your treasure is on earth." (p. 94)
I think when we own items with great economic value this question becomes harder to answer. For instance if we own a fairly new motor vehicle which we bought for a large sum of money or expensive jewelry either bought or given to us. Some things are very difficult to replace. I love the promise Dillow quotes from Hebrews. "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you: never will I forsake you"' (Hebrews 13:5). Our possessions can leave. Not by their own will, but they can be taken away. Clothing can get old and stained by coffee. Computers will break down. Material things do not last.
Principle 3: (p.96).
"God comes first and possessions come second. "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money" (Matthew 6:24).
I am not quite sure if possessions come second but I see her point. I think people come second and possessions come a very distant third. Nevertheless, God comes first. Possessions make for terrible gods. They have no divine power and no feelings.
Finally: (p. 96)
"4. Possessions are to be used, not loved. One of Jesus' most frightening warnings to contemporary America was His rebuke of the rich landowner in Luke 12. When the landowner's fields yielded a great harvest, he greedily built huge barns and stored up his earthly treasure for the years to come. Now, he thought, life will be easy and secure. God's judgment was swift. He called the landowner a fool, and that night the man's life was taken from him. "Watch out!" warned Jesus. "Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15).
It seems rather harsh that the man's life was taken. We do need to take note the warning and the urgency Jesus places on His statement in Luke 12. Indeed possessions are to be used and not loved. The problem here was greed. Jesus did not say anything is wrong in the success of the man. It was his heart and his focus. It was a heart and focus off of God and on gaining more and keeping it. The man from Luke 12 is a warning to all of us. Many of us in our 20s are in a state of transition. What are we to do with our lives? How many things do we want to accomplish before 30 or 40 or 50. There is nothing wrong with setting ambitious goals, that is if those goals have nothing to do with God and everything to do with self-gratification and self-promotion. Again, it is an issue of our hearts and where our focus is.
Dillow does not offer us easy answers or a formula. Rather she asks us to pray. We must come before God with all that we have, acknowledge that it belongs to Him and ask Him what He wants us to do with our abundance. We must also pray Psalm 139:23-24, and ask God to search our hearts. Where is our treasure, is it God or something else. We remember from Scripture that the rich man turned down eternal life because of his great possessions (MK. 10).
Missing from Dillow's chapter is an element of social justice and care for the poor. I think it is appropriate to insert the words from a laborer from World Vision here.
"With regard to American Christians, the question is not, as the saying goes, the size of the dog in the fight. Clearly, the American Church is a very large "dog." But what size is the fight in our dog? Are we fighting the good fight to be faithful stewards of the abundance entrusted to us by God, or does He expect more fight out of us? Are we fighting hard on behalf of the poor; that is, are we giving it all we 'we got? These are the questions we must each ask, not only of our churches, but of ourselves individually. And they are not easy to answer.
There is much at stake. The world we live in is under siege—three billion are desperately poor, one billion hungry, millions are trafficked in human slavery, ten million children die needlessly each year, wars and conflicts are wreaking havoc, pandemic diseases are spreading, ethnic hatred is flaming, and terrorism is growing. Most of our brothers and sisters in Christ in the developing world live in grinding poverty. And in the midst of this stands the Church of Jesus Christ in America, with resources, knowledge, and tools unequaled in the history of Christendom. I believe that we stand on the brink of a defining moment. We have a choice to make.
When historians look back in one hundred years, what will they write about this nation of 340,000 churches? What will they say of the Church's response to the great challenges of our time—AIDS, poverty, hunger, terrorism, war? Will they say that these authentic Christians rose up courageously and responded to the tide of human suffering, that they rushed to the front lines to comfort the afflicted and to douse the flames of hatred? Will they write of an unprecedented outpouring of generosity to meet the urgent needs of the world's poor? Will they speak of the moral leadership and compelling vision of our leaders? Will they write that this, the beginning of the twenty-first century, was the Church's finest hour?
Or will they look back and see a Church too comfortable, insulated from the pain of the rest of the world, empty of compassion, and devoid of deeds? Will they write about a people who stood by and watched while a hundred million died of AIDS and fifty million children were orphaned, of Christians who lived in luxury and self-indulgence while millions died for lack of food and water? Will schoolchildren read in disgust about a Church that had the wealth to build great sanctuaries but lacked the will to build schools, hospitals, and clinics? In short, will we be remembered as the Church with a gaping hole in its gospel?
I believe that much more is at stake than global economics or world missions. More is at risk even than the lives of the poor and the orphaned. The heart and soul of the Church of Jesus Christ, the very integrity of our faith and our relevance in the world, hang in the balance. (Stearns, 2009 p. 238-239)
Lord Jesus, let this song be the prayer of our hearts and the cry of our souls.
Power of Your Name
Surely children weren't made for the streets
And fathers were not made to leave
Surely this isn't how it should be
Let Your Kingdom come
Surely nations were not made for war
Or the broken meant to be ignored
Surely this just can't be what You saw
Let Your Kingdom come
Here in my heart
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name
By the power of Your name
Surely life wasn't made to regret
And the lost were not made to forget
Surely faith without action is dead
Let Your Kingdom come
Lord break this heart
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
By the power of Your name
Your name
Is a shelter for the hurting
Jesus Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name
Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus Your name
Holds everything I need
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see this world be changed
By the power of Your name
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name
The power of Your name.
God has really worked on my ability to accept what He has given over these seven months away from home. I am living in an apartment for the first time in my life. It is not a large apartment. The living space is smaller than the size of my living room in Sacramento. No back yard, no front yard, no garage. There is just one bathroom and it is quite small. It was really hard to adjust at first. I cannot lie, I was quite disappointed when I did a walk through of the place the first time. In my mind, I was thinking, I can't believe I am going to be living here. I am not one who wants a big house, but it would be nice to have a little bit more space.
"Whether we crave inexpensive treasures or designer creations, the issue is the same: greed. When we purchase more than we can afford, we are discontent with what God has given. We no longer trust that God knows best and that He will supply our needs. How do we keep our hearts centered on God, with a thankfulness for what He has given, instead of acquiring more and more? The only way is to keep His perspective in our hearts, to burn it into our minds." (Dillow, 2007 p. 92).
That is the issue. How can I be content with what God has given and provided. The earthquake in Japan really helps to put things into perspective. Thousands dead, many more homeless in cold temperatures. Wherever we live, if we have a roof over our heads, we are blessed. I think in modern times in industrialized nations it is hard to distinguish between need and greed.
I love Dillow's principles on possessions. (p. 92)
1. Everything belongs to God. "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours. O Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. . . . Everything comes from you, and we have given you only what comes from your hand" (i Chronicles 29:11-14, italics mine).
That really changes things. This place that I inhabit, its not mine. Well, it really isn't mine because I pay rent, but neither is the house in Sacramento. It has the name of my parents, but even still it is not the possession of my parents. Everything belongs to God. That puts tremendous responsibility on us to take care of it and to be thankful for it. One might say it is by my own hard work that I have what I have. Yet, the believer knows that God both gives us the skills and abilities to work and the opportunity to do what we are doing. He also placed us in the geographical location where we are at. I cannot imagine what life would be like if I was in a country that does not value democracy and capitalism.
Principle #2 (p. 93).
2. Heart attitude is the issue. Psalm 62:10 says, "Though your riches increase, do not set your heart on them." God cares about where your heart is, where your treasure is. Listen to Jesus' words:
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21)
That is a penetrating question. Where is my heart? Where is your heart? Sadly, my focus sometimes is on the heavenly treasure because it is so much more immediate. Right now, I am looking for work and the process has been long and hard at times. But for the one who is employed, there is an equal warning to not desire the accumulation of more at the expense of forgetting God.
Dillow asks a powerful question to assess where our treasure is. She asks us to take inventory of what we own and then:
"Suppose this treasure were lost, destroyed, or stolen tomorrow. Would I miss it to the point that it would harm my trust in God, my contentment, or my relationships? If the answer is yes. then your treasure is on earth." (p. 94)
I think when we own items with great economic value this question becomes harder to answer. For instance if we own a fairly new motor vehicle which we bought for a large sum of money or expensive jewelry either bought or given to us. Some things are very difficult to replace. I love the promise Dillow quotes from Hebrews. "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you: never will I forsake you"' (Hebrews 13:5). Our possessions can leave. Not by their own will, but they can be taken away. Clothing can get old and stained by coffee. Computers will break down. Material things do not last.
Principle 3: (p.96).
"God comes first and possessions come second. "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money" (Matthew 6:24).
I am not quite sure if possessions come second but I see her point. I think people come second and possessions come a very distant third. Nevertheless, God comes first. Possessions make for terrible gods. They have no divine power and no feelings.
Finally: (p. 96)
"4. Possessions are to be used, not loved. One of Jesus' most frightening warnings to contemporary America was His rebuke of the rich landowner in Luke 12. When the landowner's fields yielded a great harvest, he greedily built huge barns and stored up his earthly treasure for the years to come. Now, he thought, life will be easy and secure. God's judgment was swift. He called the landowner a fool, and that night the man's life was taken from him. "Watch out!" warned Jesus. "Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions" (Luke 12:15).
It seems rather harsh that the man's life was taken. We do need to take note the warning and the urgency Jesus places on His statement in Luke 12. Indeed possessions are to be used and not loved. The problem here was greed. Jesus did not say anything is wrong in the success of the man. It was his heart and his focus. It was a heart and focus off of God and on gaining more and keeping it. The man from Luke 12 is a warning to all of us. Many of us in our 20s are in a state of transition. What are we to do with our lives? How many things do we want to accomplish before 30 or 40 or 50. There is nothing wrong with setting ambitious goals, that is if those goals have nothing to do with God and everything to do with self-gratification and self-promotion. Again, it is an issue of our hearts and where our focus is.
Dillow does not offer us easy answers or a formula. Rather she asks us to pray. We must come before God with all that we have, acknowledge that it belongs to Him and ask Him what He wants us to do with our abundance. We must also pray Psalm 139:23-24, and ask God to search our hearts. Where is our treasure, is it God or something else. We remember from Scripture that the rich man turned down eternal life because of his great possessions (MK. 10).
Missing from Dillow's chapter is an element of social justice and care for the poor. I think it is appropriate to insert the words from a laborer from World Vision here.
"With regard to American Christians, the question is not, as the saying goes, the size of the dog in the fight. Clearly, the American Church is a very large "dog." But what size is the fight in our dog? Are we fighting the good fight to be faithful stewards of the abundance entrusted to us by God, or does He expect more fight out of us? Are we fighting hard on behalf of the poor; that is, are we giving it all we 'we got? These are the questions we must each ask, not only of our churches, but of ourselves individually. And they are not easy to answer.
There is much at stake. The world we live in is under siege—three billion are desperately poor, one billion hungry, millions are trafficked in human slavery, ten million children die needlessly each year, wars and conflicts are wreaking havoc, pandemic diseases are spreading, ethnic hatred is flaming, and terrorism is growing. Most of our brothers and sisters in Christ in the developing world live in grinding poverty. And in the midst of this stands the Church of Jesus Christ in America, with resources, knowledge, and tools unequaled in the history of Christendom. I believe that we stand on the brink of a defining moment. We have a choice to make.
When historians look back in one hundred years, what will they write about this nation of 340,000 churches? What will they say of the Church's response to the great challenges of our time—AIDS, poverty, hunger, terrorism, war? Will they say that these authentic Christians rose up courageously and responded to the tide of human suffering, that they rushed to the front lines to comfort the afflicted and to douse the flames of hatred? Will they write of an unprecedented outpouring of generosity to meet the urgent needs of the world's poor? Will they speak of the moral leadership and compelling vision of our leaders? Will they write that this, the beginning of the twenty-first century, was the Church's finest hour?
Or will they look back and see a Church too comfortable, insulated from the pain of the rest of the world, empty of compassion, and devoid of deeds? Will they write about a people who stood by and watched while a hundred million died of AIDS and fifty million children were orphaned, of Christians who lived in luxury and self-indulgence while millions died for lack of food and water? Will schoolchildren read in disgust about a Church that had the wealth to build great sanctuaries but lacked the will to build schools, hospitals, and clinics? In short, will we be remembered as the Church with a gaping hole in its gospel?
I believe that much more is at stake than global economics or world missions. More is at risk even than the lives of the poor and the orphaned. The heart and soul of the Church of Jesus Christ, the very integrity of our faith and our relevance in the world, hang in the balance. (Stearns, 2009 p. 238-239)
Lord Jesus, let this song be the prayer of our hearts and the cry of our souls.
Power of Your Name
Surely children weren't made for the streets
And fathers were not made to leave
Surely this isn't how it should be
Let Your Kingdom come
Surely nations were not made for war
Or the broken meant to be ignored
Surely this just can't be what You saw
Let Your Kingdom come
Here in my heart
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name
By the power of Your name
Surely life wasn't made to regret
And the lost were not made to forget
Surely faith without action is dead
Let Your Kingdom come
Lord break this heart
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
By the power of Your name
Your name
Is a shelter for the hurting
Jesus Your name
Is a refuge for the weak
Only Your name
Can redeem the undeserving
Jesus Your name
Holds everything I need
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see this world be changed
By the power of Your name
And I will live
To carry on compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name
The power of Your name.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
forgiveness
I read this post in the Sacramento Bee this morning that reminded me of the last post from Osmond. It's an amazing story of forgiveness. I'm not ashamed to say I cried (just a tiny bit...) when reading the end of this story.
Family reunion proves brief for former Sacramento homeless man
WILD ROSE, Wis. – On a spring day that held the threat of snow, Krista Szymborski fed melted ice cream and pureed peaches to her dying father, who had abandoned her and her brothers and sisters so many years ago.
A few days later her mother, Sandra, gently bathed the lifeless body of the man who back then had left her with five children to raise on a nurse's salary.
Forgiveness, they said, comes in many shapes and forms.
Richard Nary, who died of cancer April 14, just 16 months after his unlikely reunion with the family he had fled more than three decades earlier, made terrible mistakes in his life, the women agreed.
"We all forgave," said Szymborski, 39, wearing the simple beaded necklace that Nary had around his neck when he hit his low point, sleeping in a cardboard box behind a gas station near Howe Avenue and Hurley Way in Sacramento.
"That doesn't mean that we forget."
Nary, who moved to this sleepy Midwestern town early last year to live with Szymborski and her husband, Craig, died at age 69 in a room filled with family photographs, a wall decorated with greeting cards and a billfold with $113 inside.
It was far more than he felt he deserved when, nearly two years ago, a stranger rescued him from almost certain death on the streets of Sacramento.
Yet for Szymborski, who was a toddler when her dad left the family, these final months went all too fast. She was still getting to know Nary when she lost him again to illnesses that likely stemmed from his years of alcoholism, chain-smoking and homelessness.
"He was the center of my world for 16 months," she said last week, sitting with her mother in the tidy downstairs bedroom where her father spent his final days. "I don't know what to do without him."
Mother and daughter looked at each other, tears in their eyes, and Sandra Nary shook her head. How in the world had she found herself here, nursing her estranged husband to his death from cancer?
"I didn't do it for him," she said matter-of-factly. "I did it for Krista."
By the time Sandra arrived in Wild Rose in January to help care for Richard, her memories of him were remote, and mostly negative.
"I knew that Krista had been looking for him for awhile," she said. "For a long time, she thought he was dead, and that was OK by me."
But when her youngest daughter called, sobbing, asking her to leave her home in upstate New York to help care for the man who chose alcohol over family some 35 years ago, Sandra agreed.
She was a nurse, after all, "and to me he was just an old man who was very sick," she said. "As far as the past goes, you put things away when you have to, and you just don't dwell on them."
So she packed for Wisconsin, and tried to remember the good times.
A father leaves home
Sandra Nary is 67 years old, with wispy blond hair streaked with gray and legs that are stiff from arthritis and diabetes. But she can remember when she and Richard were strong enough to take long hikes, and energetic enough to jump on his motorcycle and ride at a moment's notice.Richard was charming and thin as a whippet when they met during her nursing training.
"He worked in the laundry," recalled Sandra. "They starched our uniforms."
After work one night, Richard offered to buy her a drink. She accepted, and soon they were going to state parks and fairs. They married in his parents' living room in Olean, the New York town where she still lives.
The early years were good, she recalled, although she noted that drinking was deeply ingrained in Richard's family life. "They partied quite a lot," she said, and enjoyed raucous card games.
Sandra and Richard lived with his parents for awhile before buying a trailer and then a small house. He worked nights for the railroad, while she took day hours.
They had five children: Richard Jr., Robin, Annette, Scott and Krista. But as their family expanded, the couple grew apart.
"We'd never talk; we'd fight," Sandra said. "It got so he was around less and less," drinking heavily, yelling, ignoring family responsibilities. Finally, he left.
Over the years, he called home occasionally but rarely saw the children. Sometimes he would promise to visit but never show up.
Without his financial support, Sandra relied on her parents and government assistance to raise her family. She filled their Easter baskets with butterscotch and other candies she made by hand. At Christmas, the kids shared the Barbie and Evel Knievel dolls that Sandra placed under the tree. Government cheese and powdered milk helped stretch the food budget.
All the while, Richard traveled the country as a truck driver. He enjoyed life on the road, he would say later, but drowned himself in booze after his shifts, in part because of guilt over leaving his family. "I just faded away," he said.
A daughter reaches out
Richard Nary landed in Sacramento and worked with horses for a time at Cal Expo, but hit his low point after he lost that job. For the better part of six years he lived on the city's streets, and his family lost track of him until a stranger stepped into their lives.In the summer of 2009, Todd Reiners, a regular customer at the Buca de Beppo restaurant on Howe Avenue, noticed a grizzled man in dirty clothes living in a cardboard box near the eatery. One day, Reiners offered Nary a room in his home.
Then he tracked down Szymborski, who had been searching for her father for years.
"I think I have your dad," Reiners told her on Facebook. Szymborski was shocked and elated.
"I had to know if he was alive or dead," she said. "Now that I knew he was alive, I wanted him to see my family."
Szymborski began daily phone conversations with Nary. Mostly, he talked about his new friend Reiners and the folks at Buca de Beppo. He steered clear of the past, and so did she, at first. She told him he had 16 grandchildren and four great-grandchildren, and sent him pictures.
Next, they made plans to meet. Spotting him at the Sacramento airport in January 2010, she saw a shaggy and broken man. But when she looked closer, "I saw a Nary," she said.
By the time she and Craig were ready to go back to Wild Rose, a small town about an hour north of Madison, Wis., her father was ready to move with them.
Her mother and siblings were wary. "Oh boy," said Sandra Nary. "Some of my kids were upset. But Krista really wanted to do this."
Richard Nary boarded the plane with a grocery bag of belongings. He blanched at the cold Midwestern weather, and complained about the isolation of a small town.
But during the next few months he spent time with all of his children, even the two who refused to call him dad. Szymborski introduced him to her daughter, Jalissa Carter, and Carter's son, Gaje, who would bury his small face in Nary's beard and giggle.
At home, Nary spent long summer days outside by the hot tub, admiring the blue skies and listening to the robins chirp.
There were bumps. Nary resented Szymborski for limiting him to three beers a day. He frequently threatened to "get a cab" and head back to Sacramento. He smoked in the house in violation of the rules. He talked too loud in stores and told lewd jokes.
Szymborski let most of his indiscretions slide. His presence had closed a hole in her life.
"He was stubborn as hell, but we made it work," she said with a smile. "I had my dad back, and that was the most important thing."
Tender ministry
Nary had a nagging cough, sparse teeth and an unsteady gait when came to live with the Szymborskis.But he flatly refused to see a doctor until he began having "fainting spells" a few months ago. After one particularly scary incident, Szymborski called an ambulance.
"Get me the hell out of here!" Nary raged once he got to the hospital. "I want to go home!"
Doctors diagnosed him first with pneumonia, and later with cancer of the throat and esophagus.
His health deteriorated rapidly after the diagnosis, and he declined intensive treatment. He began having trouble eating, and his already thin body began to waste away.
By January, with the trees bare of leaves and the stairs to the hot tub covered in snow and ice, Nary was skin and bones and it was clear that his time was short.
Hospice workers came to the house once each week to check on him. But his care fell mostly to his youngest daughter and former wife, whom Nary came to call "Ma."
Sandra kept an eye on her former husband during the day, while Krista was working at a chiropractic center and Craig as a driver for FedEx. The Szymborskis took over at night, with Krista sleeping on a sofa near Nary's room at times to make sure he was safe.
"I have no clue how he is doing it or how he is surviving but he is," she wrote in a Facebook post one day. "The hospice nurse told me when they hold on like this, they are waiting for something or someone. That he has something more to do before he lets go."
Toward the end, when Nary no longer could navigate the steps, his family moved him from his upstairs bedroom to Jalissa's old bedroom off the kitchen. Szymborski decorated it with pictures of horses, and set his two non-working watches on the bedside table. On the floor was a single grocery bag of belongings, including a weathered A's hat and a tattered flannel shirt, that he had brought with him from Sacramento.
Every morning, she and her mother crushed his pain and seizure medications into ginger ale. They cooked his favorite foods and fed him. As he got weaker, they bathed and dressed him, cleaned up his messes and suctioned his throat when he began to choke from the tumors growing inside. They swatted imaginary bugs that he believed had invaded his room.
One day, all of Nary's children arrived in Wild Rose, and his sons carried him to the couch for a family portrait. "Am I dying or what?" Nary quipped.
"Oh, Dad," Szymborski said in the bemused manner in which she typically addressed him. "Come on."
But she knew it was true.
Letting go
As her father lay in bed one chilly spring night, Szymborski sat beside him and asked him a long list of written questions.Who was his first girlfriend? What was his favorite car? Where was the best place he ever lived?
Finally, she asked whether he had any regrets. A stolen bottle of soda? A bar fight? Harsh words to a friend?
At first Nary shook his head, No. But after a few moments, he reconsidered.
"I regret leaving you kids and never calling you," Nary said softly, every word a struggle.
"No regrets, dad," Szymborski told him. "Your family loves you."
He died with his hand on the family portrait.
"I think at that point, he finally got what he wanted," said Szymborski. "In his mind and heart all those years, he wanted his family. He just didn't know how to do it after he left us."
By the time he died, she said, all of Nary's children were able to call him Dad. The family cat, Pixie, who slept on his bed, now wanders aimlessly in and out of his room. Gaje looks for his great-grandfather during his daily visits, and points to his image in photographs.
"He may not remember much about my dad, but he recognizes his Papa and he loves him, and that makes me very happy," Szymborski said.
As of last week, Szymborski had yet to pick up Nary's ashes from the funeral home. Once she musters the courage, she said, she knows what she will do with her father's remains.
She plans to sprinkle them in three special places: upstate New York, where Nary began his family; Boston, which he called his favorite city to visit; and Sacramento, where – in Reiners – he made the best friend of his life.
She has a feeling her father would approve.
"He wouldn't have wanted a big memorial service," she said. "But he definitely wouldn't want to be kept in a box, either. My dad was a free spirit. So I am going to set him free."
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Forgiving When I Don't Feel Like it
(Dillow, 2007) writes about contentment in relationships. If we have been alive for any length of time and if we are human, we will face challenges in relationships. We will face betrayal. We will feel wronged. We will feel hurt. It is so timely that I come across this particular chapter and these particular thoughts during passion week. Dillow brings our focus off of ourselves and back on to Jesus. That is what I love so much about Dillow and her writing. On the section "Jesus' example" Dillow writes:
"All the hurt, fear, and rejection you have ever felt is what the Lord Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. When He came to the garden to pray that night, Jesus knew He was about to be betrayed and die a painful death on the cross. He had confided in His friends, telling them His heart was at the breaking point with sorrow. He had asked them to lessen His grief by staying up with Him, and they had agreed to do so. Jesus went a short distance away from them and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done" (Matthew 26:42). Desiring comfort, He returned to His disciples an hour later only to find them all asleep." (Dillow, 2007 p. 74)
I have gone through this scene so many times but have never considered the mindset of Jesus. In his hour of trouble and trial not even the closest disciples stayed awake. If ever a man felt abandonment it was now. More than that is detailed further in the chapter of Peter's denial. I have included the Gethsemane section and the denial below from the 26th chapter of Matthew.
Gethsemane
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Peter Disowns Jesus
69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.
70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”
72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”
74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
Can you picture this? Jesus was agonizing the events of His future and the disciples fell asleep. They failed Him not once, but three times. Have we felt the sting of disappointment from friends? Sometimes it is trivial, other times it is real let down. In either case it hurts and it happens. Dillow makes this true and powerful statement. "When we love, we open ourselves to the possibility of hurt." (Dillow, 2007 p. 76) It is those who are closest to us who can hurt us the most. Love makes us vulnerability to the pains of disappointment and betrayal. At the same time there are many joys to love.
Both love and forgiveness are choices. How did Jesus respond? "Did you notice that Jesus said, "Let us go"? He used the word us. Even after they betrayed Him, Jesus reached out to His friends." (Dillow, 2007 p. 76). How many of us would have been "forget it!" The natural response to let down and disappointment is unforgiveness and / or vengeance. The natural way is to have nothing to do with the person or to punish them. Jesus does neither. His way is the way of forgiveness and reconciliation. Jesus also teaches us the way of grace.
Dillow calls this going beyond forgiveness. Are feelings for the person who hurt us are negative but we are not to act on those feelings. Rather we act on what we know to be true from Scripture. These are choices we make even when the choices contradict how we feel. I’ve learned over the years that feelings are unreliable and must be tested and examined by truth. Choices are linked to will. I can control what I do even if I don't feel like doing it. Dillow took Romans 12 into practice.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12:17-21)
Dillow took these verses and personalized it to the person who hurt her, to bless, honor, and love the one who offended her.
"As I prayed for Jana and asked, "How can I bless her?" God gave me creative ways to reach out in love. When she was discouraged about her ministry, I wrote her a letter of encouragement. When her mother visited. I invited Jana and her mother to lunch. Did I feel loving? No. Did I feel like giving a blessing? No. But God continued to prompt me to go beyond forgiveness. To put the act of forgiving into the action of forgiving. To make secret choices in my heart, in my will. My choices had nothing whatever to do with my feelings." (Dillow, 2007 p. 81)
This seems easy to do. It seems easy to do when we are not in that situation. The reality is that going beyond forgiveness is real difficult. Dillow adds the emphasis of prayer. None of these actions of grace come naturally. They really do not come naturally when are minds are bent towards doing that person harm. We need to be in tune to God and to hear from Him and how we can bless, honor, and love those who have hurt us. It takes divine enablement and wisdom to love someone the way God would.
Dillow asks us what choices can we commit to.. Dillow calls these secret choices. (Dillow, 2007 p. 82) These are her choices:
What I choose to be - faithful to God
What I choose to do - forgive others, go beyond forgiveness
What I choose to sow words of blessing and love
Dillow, in her section, "How often must I forgive", includes the classic text on forgiveness from Matthew 18. She writes that 490 is not the magic number of times to forgive. Rather, we are to keep on forgiving. If we add the context of Romans 12, then we are to continually forgive and continually love. I would add that this particular text shows us the huge discrepancy between the debt we owe to God that He forgave us from and the debt people owe to us. Our debt could never be paid of but Jesus paid it in full so that forgiveness could be made possible. Jesus is the center of this passion week and He is to always be our focus especially when it comes to forgiving others.
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiveness is a serious issue with God. Forgiveness is at the heart of the Gospel. I like songs that remind me of the reality of the Gospel. This song seems appropriate during passion week and being reminded of what Jesus has done so that we are able to extent grace and mercy to others.
You Are My King
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king. would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
Amazing love how can it be?
That my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do
I honor you
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love how can it be
That you, my king would die for me
Amazing love, I know its true
It's my joy to honor you
Amazing love how can it be?
That you, my king, would die for me
Amazing love, I know its true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
You are my king
You are my king
Jesus, You are my king
Jesus, You are my king
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king, would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
In all I do honor you
"All the hurt, fear, and rejection you have ever felt is what the Lord Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. When He came to the garden to pray that night, Jesus knew He was about to be betrayed and die a painful death on the cross. He had confided in His friends, telling them His heart was at the breaking point with sorrow. He had asked them to lessen His grief by staying up with Him, and they had agreed to do so. Jesus went a short distance away from them and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done" (Matthew 26:42). Desiring comfort, He returned to His disciples an hour later only to find them all asleep." (Dillow, 2007 p. 74)
I have gone through this scene so many times but have never considered the mindset of Jesus. In his hour of trouble and trial not even the closest disciples stayed awake. If ever a man felt abandonment it was now. More than that is detailed further in the chapter of Peter's denial. I have included the Gethsemane section and the denial below from the 26th chapter of Matthew.
Gethsemane
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Peter Disowns Jesus
69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.
70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”
72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”
74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
Can you picture this? Jesus was agonizing the events of His future and the disciples fell asleep. They failed Him not once, but three times. Have we felt the sting of disappointment from friends? Sometimes it is trivial, other times it is real let down. In either case it hurts and it happens. Dillow makes this true and powerful statement. "When we love, we open ourselves to the possibility of hurt." (Dillow, 2007 p. 76) It is those who are closest to us who can hurt us the most. Love makes us vulnerability to the pains of disappointment and betrayal. At the same time there are many joys to love.
Both love and forgiveness are choices. How did Jesus respond? "Did you notice that Jesus said, "Let us go"? He used the word us. Even after they betrayed Him, Jesus reached out to His friends." (Dillow, 2007 p. 76). How many of us would have been "forget it!" The natural response to let down and disappointment is unforgiveness and / or vengeance. The natural way is to have nothing to do with the person or to punish them. Jesus does neither. His way is the way of forgiveness and reconciliation. Jesus also teaches us the way of grace.
Dillow calls this going beyond forgiveness. Are feelings for the person who hurt us are negative but we are not to act on those feelings. Rather we act on what we know to be true from Scripture. These are choices we make even when the choices contradict how we feel. I’ve learned over the years that feelings are unreliable and must be tested and examined by truth. Choices are linked to will. I can control what I do even if I don't feel like doing it. Dillow took Romans 12 into practice.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12:17-21)
Dillow took these verses and personalized it to the person who hurt her, to bless, honor, and love the one who offended her.
"As I prayed for Jana and asked, "How can I bless her?" God gave me creative ways to reach out in love. When she was discouraged about her ministry, I wrote her a letter of encouragement. When her mother visited. I invited Jana and her mother to lunch. Did I feel loving? No. Did I feel like giving a blessing? No. But God continued to prompt me to go beyond forgiveness. To put the act of forgiving into the action of forgiving. To make secret choices in my heart, in my will. My choices had nothing whatever to do with my feelings." (Dillow, 2007 p. 81)
This seems easy to do. It seems easy to do when we are not in that situation. The reality is that going beyond forgiveness is real difficult. Dillow adds the emphasis of prayer. None of these actions of grace come naturally. They really do not come naturally when are minds are bent towards doing that person harm. We need to be in tune to God and to hear from Him and how we can bless, honor, and love those who have hurt us. It takes divine enablement and wisdom to love someone the way God would.
Dillow asks us what choices can we commit to.. Dillow calls these secret choices. (Dillow, 2007 p. 82) These are her choices:
What I choose to be - faithful to God
What I choose to do - forgive others, go beyond forgiveness
What I choose to sow words of blessing and love
Dillow, in her section, "How often must I forgive", includes the classic text on forgiveness from Matthew 18. She writes that 490 is not the magic number of times to forgive. Rather, we are to keep on forgiving. If we add the context of Romans 12, then we are to continually forgive and continually love. I would add that this particular text shows us the huge discrepancy between the debt we owe to God that He forgave us from and the debt people owe to us. Our debt could never be paid of but Jesus paid it in full so that forgiveness could be made possible. Jesus is the center of this passion week and He is to always be our focus especially when it comes to forgiving others.
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiveness is a serious issue with God. Forgiveness is at the heart of the Gospel. I like songs that remind me of the reality of the Gospel. This song seems appropriate during passion week and being reminded of what Jesus has done so that we are able to extent grace and mercy to others.
You Are My King
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king. would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
Amazing love how can it be?
That my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do
I honor you
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love how can it be
That you, my king would die for me
Amazing love, I know its true
It's my joy to honor you
Amazing love how can it be?
That you, my king, would die for me
Amazing love, I know its true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
You are my king
You are my king
Jesus, You are my king
Jesus, You are my king
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king, would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
In all I do honor you
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Each Day Is A Gift
It is very difficult sometimes to count our blessings when our perception is so skewed. Many times in those moments, I think to myself, so and so has such an awesome life. I wish I were someone else and somewhere else. This whole being in Upstate New York has totally worked on my attitude. It is so gloomy, cold, and cloudy here, even in April. My professor yesterday asked me how visiting home was and my first reaction was it is much warmer and sunny. She replied by saying hopefully it will get warmer here soon. For 29 years of my life I grew up where it was warm, sunny, and pleasant. For the past year I have lived in a region of the country that does not see much sun. I wish I were back in California!
(Dillow:2007) discusses contentment in our roles. She includes an exchange of three friends from college several years after graduation. It is quite interesting to read these letters. Each woman has different roles. The two letters I found pertinent to the chapter is from the mother versus the single. The following is the letter from the mom:
Dear Terri, The elementary bus just picked up Adam, and the twins are down for a nap, so I might have time to finish this note, if you could see through e-mail, you'd see that my new white blouse is now purple — part of a long and complicated breakfast accident, on which I'd rather not elaborate. Suffice it to say, we now REALLY need new den carpeting. Thank you for remembering my birthday. The perfumed soap and bubble bath are a real treat, and I'm looking forward to a long soak next fall, when the twins start kindergarten. I heard from Laura a few weeks ago. She's going back to school to finish her degree. I'm so jealous! The only books I have time to read these days use the same words over and over and over, hop, pop, top, and stop. Write when you can. I know you're traveling a lot, and I like hearing about those exotic places. Love, Sheryl (Dillow:2007 p. 59-60)
This letter captures her busyness. It also captures her discontent as a mom. She wishes she has time to read. She believes her friend has a better life going to so many places in the world, but does her friend enjoy the life that she's been given:
Dear Sheryl,
I wish I could spend a weekend at your house, holding Adam and the twins on my lap and reading hop, pop, top, and stop instead of these tedious sales reports. You're so lucky to have a young family that adores you. I'm still hoping, but I'm afraid my biological clock got left in another time zone. Spent last week in Paris. Overrated. I hate baguettes. Next time I have to go overseas, I'm packing a loaf of Wonderbread.
Love, Jerri (Dillow:2007 p. 60)
I make note of these two exchanges because their lives are so different and yet both are discontent. One wants to be a mom while the other wishes she could travel the world. The one who gets to travel the world talks about how the world class cities are overrated and complains about the food there. As the reader, unattached from both their worlds, I don't know where they are coming from. I wish I had children, but I don't know what that involves. I am sure there are many challenges. Dillow confronts the women who she quotes responding to the question when does a woman become an adult: "Perhaps it's when she stops comparing her life to other women's. When she stops waiting for "Mr. Right." When she stops wishing she'd married someone else or that her children were at an easier stage." (p. 61)
Comparing, waiting for a better spouse, being unhappy in present situations. Dillow asks for us to change the way we think about our roles, to take on God's perspectives. We need to thank God for what He has given us. "We grow up when we see our life and our role from God's perspective; when we thank God for the role He has assigned us and begin to see our cup as a gift instead of a cross; when each morning we ask, "God, how can I glorify You today in my given role?" (p. 61)
That is a God-honoring and powerful prayer. How can I glorify You God in my role today. I bet the world would change if every man and every woman of God prays that each morning and is tune to how God answers. It begins with us. What happens if we accept our roles versus if we don't? "If we're trusting God that His portion for us is best, we can make the secret choices that will bring us a heart of contentment. If we don't accept God's portion for us, we will become women with spirits of discontent." (Dillow:2007 p. 63).
It goes back to trusting God. That is trusting God that He knows what He's doing. Every circumstance and role He has designed for us. It is how we respond to it. Dillow's section with all roles provide opportunities is probably the best in this chapter because it points us back to Jesus. She asks the question why did Jesus come to earth. "Jesus gave His primary reason when He said He came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28). He asks you and me to enter our worlds with the same purpose. Jesus humbled Himself and took the role of a servant. He used His assigned role to minister to those around Him and to give the ultimate gift of His very life. I don't think many of us have ever thought about this before, and yet if we did. I believe our attitudes would be transformed." (Dillow:2007 p. 64)
I think if we really think about it, discontent is selfish. It is wanting something else. For the Christian it is saying to God that we are unhappy with the gifts He has given us and we want something else. Contentment happens when we look upward to God and then outward to our world, worship and witness. God truly has given us a lot no matter who we are because for all of us He's given us Himself and that by itself is huge. Would we celebrate His goodness and be a blessing to others today. We've sang this song many times at DCCC. Last year's retreat we closed the first night's Bible study with this song.
Take my life, and let it be
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Take my life, and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to thee;
take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move
at the impulse of thy love;
take my feet, and let them be
swift and beautiful for thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing
always, only, for my King;
take my lips, and let them be
filled with messages from thee.
Take my silver and my gold,
not a mite would I withhold;
take my intellect, and use
every power as thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it thine;
it shall be no longer mine.
take my heart, it is thine own;
it shall be thy royal throne.
Take my love; my Lord,
I pour at thy feet its treasure store;
take my self, and I will be ever, only, all for thee.
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