heaven's tree book club

Spiritual Diseases

"Did you know there are spiritual diseases? Two of the deadliest are the "if" diseases. What if and if Only. These illnesses are fraternal twins, alike but not alike. Both lack the eyes of faith. What if looks to the future and worries about what God might allow. If Only looks to the past and grumbles about what God has given. The first leads to anxiety, the second to anger." (p. 157).

Trusting God has become increasingly challenging. The way dillow puts the two diseases, it seems like they are mutually exclusive. This morning, I am feeling like I have both. I have another interview this afternoon. I have had three previous ones with different agencies in the last three weeks. It has produced a zero result. This afternoon is a panel interview, my second one ever. A thousand "what if"s are circulating in my mind. The most common one is "what if they ask me a question I don't know how to answer?" Over the past couple of days I have been wondering, "if only I stayed in Sacramento". I certainly would not be in New York if I did. I am not quite to the point of anger, but it sure has not been an easy journey. I tend to ask the '"if only" question when things aren't well. If God would show me the positive outcome of me being here, then the "if only" would have no place. However, doing so would require no faith.

Dillow's text is Jeremiah 17:5-8:

This is what the Lord says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives.” But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."

"These verses present us with a contrast between a man who trusts in himself and another who not only trusts in the Lord but also makes the Lord his total trust.
First, let's look at the woman who makes flesh her strength. Surely, this is not a picture of me or you! We trust God! Or do we? When we turn to control, strategies, intelligence, and manipulation, we are trusting in ourselves. Instead of giving our anxious hearts to God, we handle the uncertainty of the What ifs of life by employing one of the control tactics mentioned above and we "help God out." Waiting is too hard, too painful, and God just works way too slow." (Dillow, 2007 p. 159)

I think of Abraham and God's promise of a son. However, years go by and there is no child. For those not familiar with the Genesis narrative, Abraham and Sarah are well advanced in years when the promise of a son is made and Sarah is barren. Sarah then offers her maidservant to her husband so that a child perhaps can come forth. I think Sarah's idea and then Abraham's willingness to listen to her advice shows that both did not totally understand that God would come through and so both decided they would help God out. Unfortunately for them, and for us, in helping God out, we rob God of His spectacular glory. We cannot manufacture miracles, only God can. It is so difficult though when a lot of time goes by and God hasn't yet shown up.

Dillow's prayer from Jeremiah 17

Oh God. You know my tendency to try to control and help You out. I know that "helping You out" is what leads to an anxious heart. Forgive me. I don't want to trust in my own strength, in my strategies. I don't want to control or manipulate. Please, God. teach me what it means to not only trust You but make You my total trust. I long to become that blessed woman whose roots are planted deep by Your river. As the heat of the trials increase, I long to trust instead of fear, to be content instead of anxious. Please keep my eyes focused on You so that my leaves will stay green and fruit will be produced in the midst of the What ifs. (pp. 159-160).

Where is our focus?

"Isaiah 41.10 declares, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." We can only trust God when our focus is on Him and not on our circumstances." (p. 160).

Dillow has three steps with the circumstances that produce worry:

1. Ask yourself what is the worst that can possibly happen.
2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.
3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst. (p. 163).

In my situation this afternoon it would be that the interview would be a disaster. I would not be able to work there. I would need to find another place. In the grand scheme of things it does not seem that bad, but it does not make the situation any easier. The place is about a 45 minute drive away which means about 90 minutes round trip. Towards the end of the chapter Dillow quotes the serenity prayer. I find it encouraging to meditate over.

God grant me the serenity to accept that which I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will, so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.

So, what are your "what if"s? Give them to God and trust that He is in control.


Salvation belongs to our God
Who sits upon the throne
And unto the Lamb

Praise and glory
Wisdom and thanks
Honor and power and strength
Be to our God forever and ever
Be to our God forever and ever