heaven's tree book club

Trusting God with our portion, IF ONLY continued.

Another week, another interview. In less than two hours from now, I will be going to yet another interview at another organization, this time a hospital. I have no idea what to expect. I am four weeks into the summer period and still without a definite placement. Theoretically this will be the most relevant placement because out of all the places I have interviewed, this is directly related to my concentration.

"If we are to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty, we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by a personal and loving God. For most of us, this begins by refusing to contract the if Only disease" (p. 173).

Certainly there is a reason why God allows some things and not allow other things. So far, each interview, whether good or bad has resulted in no placement. It is the closed doors that are often the hardest to go through. Yet, open doors are not always a good thing for they can lead to heartache and disappointment if we are not seeking the Lord in those choices.

I always love reading devotional commentaries on certain sections of Scripture. One passage I love is the raising of the brother of Martha by Jesus in John 11:

"Wilma became so distraught over their situation, so paralyzed by the if Only, that on Easter she could not sing "He Lives." She felt God had deserted them. Alone in her drab kitchen, she turned to a pamphlet by A. B. Simpson titled, "The if in Your Life." She read the account of Lazarus's death and how Martha had said to Jesus. "Lord. If Only You had been here, my brother would not have died." And Jesus could have been there; He was not far away. He knew all about it and Lie let Lazarus die.
Wilma realized a great truth: There's an if in every life — something God could have done differently if He had chosen to do so. He has all power, yet He often allows that if to be there. God wanted to meet Wilma's if with His if just as He had for Martha. Jesus told Martha, "Did 1 not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40). Martha wanted Lazarus to be delivered from death; Christ wanted Lazarus to be triumphant over death.2" (pp. 174-175)

It is that last statement that really sticks out to me. Jesus wanted Lazarus triumph over death. Martha wanted her brother delivered from death. The rhetorical question is "which would bring God greater glory?" Certainly the raising of the dead would be a greater miracle. So often our prayers are so limited. We want God to do X but God wants to do Y and Y is the action that brings Him greater glory. I find it hard then to know what to ask except that in whatever happens that God would get the greatest glory. Death is no small matter. I can imagine the sadness Martha was feeling and the anger towards Jesus for letting her brother die. Yet, in that tragedy, Jesus was at work. Trusting God in those circumstances is incredibly challenging.

Dillow goes on to tell about a woman who finds the man of her dreams only to find several years into the marriage his continual adultery, apology and adultery again. She found out his middle name is charmer. Adultery itself is a kind of death. It is the death of trust and commitment. It is heartbreaking.

"Recently I received another letter from Darla and marveled at her continual growth. She said, "I'm trying to learn obedience and acquiescence to God's will in the tiniest details of my life. I don't want to waste any more of my life being sad and nonfunctioning because of my situation with my husband." Darla is choosing to trust God with her portion." (p. 177)

Dillow goes on to describe one of her favorite Psalms, PS 77. This is the key to trusting God.

Remembering the Deeds of the Lord

"We survive the packages of pain God allows in our lives by remembering who God is and what He has done in the past. When If Onlys invade my mind, when anguish fills my heart, I return to one of my favorite psalms. It is a place where God has met me time after time. Read Psalm 77 and hear the psalmist's pain-drenched words: "My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;... I was too troubled to speak. ... Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?" (Psalm 77:2-4.8-9).
These questions sound like my questions. But listen to how the psalmist's despair changes from pity to praise.

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. (Psalm 77:11-14)

I will remember. This is a key to trusting God." (p. 179).

Well, God has done so much for me. He has kept me alive and sustained me for 30 years. He got me to this point. I got accepted into this graduate program. I made it through two semesters. Surely God will enable me to finish and provide all that is necessary.