September 25, 2012
His Majesty's Secret Service
 This day started off very challenging. I began again upon waking up with the uncertainty of whether or not God is still real. I don't sense His nearness or grace. My mobility today has been very difficult. I begin to loath living in a two story house and don't know how much longer I can use stairs. There are no bedrooms downstairs. Life is challenging and God seems so indifferent. I seem to be going through this all alone. The distance from the bathroom to the front door is only ten feet but seem farther than that and my wheelchair was waiting for me. Daniel wanted me to hold him in the chair but my health situation prevented me from doing so and he was upset and obviously could not understand because he is only 18 months. I felt no joy to see him and all morning my face and heart was very downcast. Even my mom who is not a believer rebuked me for not smiling. Today, I feel very stuck, lost, and discouraged.     
"OUR call to royalty comes with authority and much responsibility. Jesus said,"From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more" (Luke 12:48).Authority and responsibility always go together and we must understand both of these aspects of our call. God has invested His church with His authority over everything on earth, but we also have the responsibility to use that authority to fulfill His purposes.
He has commissioned us to disciple the nations. It is important for us to understand our job description so that we can accomplish the will of the Father. Although Jesus said to make disciples of all nations, most of the church has reduced our call down to making disciples in all nations. So much of the way we read and interpret the Bible has been affected by a pauper mentality. When we feel small and powerless, we tend to dilute the word of God down to something we can accomplish in our own weak state so we don't feel convicted for not doing what's required of us. Therefore, as we begin to be transformed into a royal priesthood, we need to take a fresh look at the Scriptures."
I am guilty more than ever of the pauper mentality. I don't believe God for accomplishing great things either in me or in the world. My God is too small. I like the point about authority and responsibility. Authority alone can lead to misuse and abuse. As citizens of the kingdom, there is both authority and responsibility. Many churches see the responsibility part and neglect the authority part. We do a lot of activity but do not operate out of God's power and authority. At least for me, I haven't seen believers heal the sick or cast out evil spirits.
"There is an obvious difference between discipling people and discipling nations. We know that everyone who comes to Christ needs to be discipled, as we addressed in the chapter on covenant, but reducing the Great Commission down to merely discipling people is a complete misunderstanding of the word of God. Notice that Jesus sets discipleship in the context of all authority in Heaven and on earth being transferred from the devil to Him. Therefore (because of this), make disciples of the nations."
Matthew 28 is the author's focus for this chapter. I am unsure what he means by discipling nations but I do understand discipling people. That is what we practice. The author tries to say that we have reduced this into a much smaller and simpler mandate. I am not sure what the difference is between discipling people versus nations. It appears much smaller in scope and whenever there is something much smaller in scope the less we rely on God.
"The fact that the Church has been restored to man's original position of dominion on earth requires vis to learn and carry out the responsibilities that come with our authority. What is the purpose of our dominion? We are called to fulfill the original commission given to Adam and Eve, but the task is different because we must not just subdvie the earth but restore it from centuries of destruction it has suffered under the devil's tyranny. The Church is called to destroy every work of the devil, as Jesus modeled, to make disciples of the nations, and to teach the world to obey the commands of Christ.
Those in the church who still think like paupers feel powerless, and so they often distance themselves from the challenges and troubles of the world, sometimes without even knowing they're doing it.They commonly develop doctrines that release them from any responsibility for things that are wrong or evil. One of the biggest problems I have with people interpreting disasters as God's judgment or declaring that, "the kingdom is also 'not yet,' so we just need to ride it out until the millennium," is that those perspectives leave people in a place where they can't and shouldn't do anything about the world around them. As we can see from our study of the Word, God has called us to be His answer to the world's troubles, not to run from them."

"Unfortunately much of the abdication of responsibility on the part of the Church is the result of cultural influence. American culture has promoted a self-serving individualism to the point where community- life is under attack on all fronts. Most people have very little awareness how their choices affect the community around them. If we are going to wake up and take ownership of our communities, we will by necessity confront the individualism around us and in us. One way to get a glimpse of our true attitude regarding our responsibility is to ask ourselves if we treat every person we meet like family. Jesus taught us to pray with a corporate prayer addressed to "Our Father," which reveals God's desire for His people to identify with the situations of their neighbors and community as if they were all in the family of God."

"The Body of Christ is equipped to bring the kingdom of righteousness, peace and joy wherever we go.We have power over the evil prince who keeps people in bondage. We have love that causes people to know- they are cared about.We have grace that gives them the power to change. We have mercy that picks them up when they fall. We have courage that stands in the face of violence and brings peace, and we have wisdom that shows people how to live. Most of all, we have an awesome Father who knows how to melt the hearts of His people. We have the answers to the world's problems and the devil's devices.
John said, "I he Son of Clod appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil' (1 John 3:8), and a few verses later he declared/As He- is, so are we in this world "(4:17b KJV). Let us not stop short of imitating every work of Jesus Himself, for He has all authority in Heaven and on earth and has commissioned us to represent Him in His fullness. He was the One who promised we, His royal family, would do even "greater works than these" (John 14:12)."
Prayer:
Father, in my weakness, I cannot see Your power, love or grace. We are called to change the world but today, I feel so small and really discouraged. My faith and my hope have radically dropped off these couple of weeks. I want to be a part of the world's solutions, but I struggle right now to even know whether or not You are rea and that You care. Today has been hard. Father, please show me Your healing power and limitless grace and with that, lead me to help bring hope to this world.

September 24, 2012
The Dogs of Doom Stand at the Doors of Destiny
There was a moment in WWE's final moments I had wanted to skip to sleep early. It was the interview with John Cena. He had gotten elbow surgery the previous Tuesday and was in no condition to wrestle. He didn't know when his return would be. Z. M. Punk came out to confront him and threatned to hurt him. As we know restling in the entertainment style is fake so John with one arm was able to defend himself. The moment for me however was that John did not know when he would recover from his condition but he promised the people that he would meet Punk in Hell in a Cell. This is hope without God, but it is hope nonetheless. John has more faith in himself than I have in my God. Hope as I found out in my devotional on my last day of my graduate seminar is Biblically defined as confident expectation. It is not wishful thinking. I saw John Cena's hope in himself as confident expectation that he will recovery in time for the main event. Of course this is all scripted, but I thought to myself, why don't I have faith like that.
Daniel was messing around with my pedal exerciser today and I got upset. To him he does not understand the concept of buying fitness equiptment all he knows is what he is entertained by. Still, this cost a lot of money, money which I am now very low in. I cannot afford for him to break it. I see that I have very little patience when it comes to things concerning money. If it was not my exerciser or if it was cheap like a pen I wouldn't mind, but something that cost $100, then it is different. I realize that my patience and love was really tested this afternoon. Daniel also woke me up while I was resting. I had already woken up and so I was glad to see him, but I wonder if I would have had the same welcome had I still had been asleep. I realize that I am far from the man I want to be.
"IT was a typical hot August evening in Redding, California. Carolyn was dropping by one of the local clothing stores to get a few things before going home. She found a parking space and maneuvered her vehicle into it. Placing the car in park, she shut off the engine. As she reached over to close the passenger side window, a young man in his early twenties came to the driver's side and yelled,"Get out of the car!" It was then that she realized his arm was inside the car and he was holding a gun to her ribs.
Carolyn, who is a rather quiet, modest woman in her mid-fifties said, "Look, you don't want this car. It doesn't run good, hardly has any gas and the air conditioner doesn't work." Then gesturing toward the gun she said, "What's THIS?" "My gun," he said. Feeling the boldness of the Lord rise within her, she looked him straight in the eye and asked,"What are you going to do with it?" Suddenly his whole body relaxed as if he had been holding his breath, "Nothing," he sighed.
"We need to talk," Carolyn said gently. "You've been set up. God wants you to hear what I have to tell you." He nodded, showing her that the gun wasn't even loaded, and putting it back into his pack. The would-be thief knelt by the car wiiile Carolyn began to talk to him, as a mother would talk to her son, about how much the Heavenly Father loved him. He opened up and poured out his heart, sharing his life's troubles and difficulties with her. She asked if he had been contemplating suicide. He told her that he had written a letter to his parents that very morning about wanting to take his life. She ministered to him for nearly an hour. Placing her hand on his bowed head, she prayed for him, and felt an indescribable love pour through her spirit into him. As amazing as it sounds, it was hard for them to say goodbye to one another. They both wanted to remain immersed in God's presence in an encounter neither of them will ever forget.
Disguised as an everyday housewife, Carolyn is a princess who refused to be intimidated by a thug, and instead, radically altered the course of a young man's life!"
When I read a narrative, I try to imagine the scene and place myself in the passage. What would I do if I was the man or if I was the woman? How would I react? This is a God encounter the man and also the woman felt. There was a tremendous amount of fearlessness and depression that was in the young man to do such a thing but a boldness and compassion of Christ the woman illustrates here. God arranged this encounter for both. This is a mature woman of God who was not afraid and was sure of who she is and sure of who God is. Such people in the church are hard to find but make a tremendous difference in the world.
"People love to hear stories of everyday heroism, but most of us question whether we would have been able to respond so boldly. There are plenty of other stories where people see evil, yet do nothing, caring more to save their own lives rather than living sacrificially.
This survival mentality has no place in the hearts and minds of the sons and daughters of the King. Jesus said, "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it" (Matt. 16:25).The survival mentality is a finite core value that restricts the impact of our lives to the here-and-now and robs us of the history- making exploits that have been assigned to each of us by God Himself.
Our survival mentality is supposed to be dealt with at baptism. Jesus said,"If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me" (Matt. 16:24). Resurrection life lies on the other side of the crucifixion.To be disciples of Christ we must deal with death head-on. We do this by taking up our cross and following Jesus to the crucifixion at the baptismal tank."
I think no one likes to take up their cross. No one wants to die to self. We are people of self preservation and survival. Yet Christ challenges us to die to self, and to take up our cross and to make history for the kingdom as we see in the opening story here. Self preservation does not save lives and make impact for the kingdom. I admit, I am a self preservationist. By nature, all of us look out for ourselves and our instinct is not to go save whoever is drowning even though for some of us we have a touch on our hearts to do something so we call on someone else.

"Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself [Jesus] likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery1 all their lives (Hebrews 2:14-15).
Just imagine what a whole army of living "dead" people can accomplish when they are no longer intimidated by the grave, but are filled with the boldness of God! Royal people live from eternity and therefore don't view physical death as an end, but as an entrance to a new dimension in God.
When we meet a believer who loves the gift of life yet has no fear of death, we've met a person who is free to really live. I saw this firsthand in my friend, Bob Perry. In 2000 I got pretty sick. There was a chance that I had a serious life-threatening illness, and it paralyzed me with the fear of death. One day I called Bob, who had survived kidney cancer several years before after being told by the doctors that he wasn't expected to live.
I asked him, "Were you ever afraid to die?"
"No!" he said.
"Why not?" 1 asked.
"You can't threaten me with Heaven!" he proclaimed.
"My favorite story to date is that of Chad Dedmon. Chad is a newlywed who recently graduated from BSSM.A few months ago he went into a local supermarket to buy some doughnuts. While he stood in line to pay for his food, he noticed that the woman in front of him was wearing hearing aids. Chad asked her a few questions and found out that she was completely deaf in one ear and 50 percent deaf in the other. He asked if he could pray for her and, with her permission, put his hands on her ears and commanded them to be healed. He then convinced her to take out her hearing aids. She discovered that she was completely healed and could hear perfectly. The lady was crying, and so was the cashier who was observing the whole thing.
Chad asked the cashier if he could get on the loudspeaker and ask other people in the store if he could pray for them, because God had shown him more healings that He wanted to do for other people. The lady agreed and handed him the microphone.
"Attention all shoppers! God just healed this deaf lady." He handed the mic to the lady who had gotten healed and asked her to tell the people what God had done. She shared through her tears and then handed the microphone back to Chad.
Chad said,"God has shown me that there is someone here who has a bad left hip and He wants to heal you. Come to aisle 12 and I will pray for you." He announced several other words of knowledge for healing, and within a few minutes people were gathered around the checkstand. A ladv drove up in an electric cart and said, "I am the one with the left hip problem. I am getting a hip replacement tomorrow."
Chad praved for her and then convinced her to test it by walking. This took awhile as the woman refused to get up and walk. She finally did and then started running, yelling, I am healed, I am healed!"
The encounter ended with two more people getting healed and several people receiving the Lord after Chad preached a message of healing and salvation right there in the store.
Most of us would love to see God move as He did with these students, but if we haven't dealt with our survival mentality, we won't have the strength to step out and grab hold of divine moments of opportunity. When we are afraid, we stay on the porch of our life and we never run with the big dogs! If we take up a defensive posture, we actually yield the position of influence and authority that God has called us to have over the enemy. In the vacuum we leave others who have found a cause worth dying for will rise up with conviction and power from the dark side. Then the great adventure is replaced with a boring and monotonous existence. Fear debilitates us from fighting the good fight that God has called us to. It has been disguised in the Church as "stewardship," "wisdom," and a bunch of other spiritual words, reducing the Christian experience to simply holding the fort. The only convictions that are worth living for are those worth dying for."
"In the last couple of years nearly 2,000 American men and women have died and many more have been -wounded in the war in Iraq. It is sad to hear of the scores of lives that are being taken away every day, but the truth is that everybody is going to die someday. The real question that we should ask ourselves is whether or not we are really living. When we leave this world, will our lives actually have counted for something? The greatest tragedy in our world isn't that so many are dying to protect our freedoms, but that millions are living without any purpose!
America is the land of the free and the home of the brave, but what many people have forgotten is that if we were not the home of the brave, we would have never been the land of the free!"

"The ultimate challenge therefore lies not so much in the battle itself but in getting the people of God to join the fray. When the royal army refuses to fight and instead cowers from combat, they are often shot in the back where they are armor-less. Notice that the "armor of God" in Ephesians has no protection for your back. We are ill-equipped for retreat.
"The dogs of doom stand at the doors of our destiny!" What we believe to be our most fearful stumbling block is actually the door to our greatest victory. Our greatest destiny lies on the other side of fear. Courage is the ability to advance in the face of adversity to obtain these treasures.
One of the challenges in getting Christians to engage in war is their lack of appreciation for the values which moved our forefathers to purchase our freedom with their lives. History helps us connect to virtues worth dying for.They stand behind the veil of time, but are our inheritance.They are often clothed with words like"Honor,""Freedom,""Valor," "Loyalty" and "Respect." Our founding mothers and fathers treated these invisible attributes like countries to protect and qualities to pass down to their children. These noble people fought not so much to protect land but to perpetuate the principles of the Kingdom.

 "Courage can be observed in a mother with three children. Her husband's a manic and raging alcoholic. Violence has become a way of life for them. She has been trying to make the marriage work for years, but he doesn't want a wife; he wants a slave that he can drive with fear, and kids that he can torment into submission. He gives her no money and never allows her or the children to have a life. She has no job skills because she never wants to leave the kids alone in the war zone with their out-of-control father. But one day she decides that it is over. She takes the children and they leave, not knowing where they're going but realizing that they can't stay in this slave camp another day. He has threatened her life many times, but she chooses boldness over fear and life over death.They will start fresh and trust God to lead them.
Courage resides in the young woman who goes to a high school where the number of virgins can be counted on two hands. Everyone around her is "doing it," and she feels the peer pressure and the sex drive within her are trying to defeat her. But she has chosen to save herself for her prince. She realizes that the value of her virginity lies in the struggle that it takes to get it from the battlefield to the honeymoon suite, and she is determined to do it.
History is written by these acts of courage. And not one is better than the other. When we refuse to compromise, we become the people that God can trust to carry His glory to the world.
History will record whether or not we, God's people, rise up with valor in this dispensation to perpetuate the royal attributes of our Holy King, or we digress in fear into the cesspool of moral corruption. If we fail, those who record our history will also be caught in the depth of its despair. If we succeed and rise above the mire of the complacency of our peers, we could very possibly leave a legacy that lasts for eternity. We cannot afford to fail! We must dress ourselves in vigilance and run to protect the virtues that have been handed down to us.With so much at stake we must win the most epic of battles!"
Prayer:
Father, this chapter is powerful. These are stories of untold heroes of men and women both young and old of courage in the face of strong opposition. These are stories of princes and princess who know they are royalty and live in light of eternity. These men and women have a powerful witness in the world. We must be women and men who live to protect the virtues of honor, courage, loyalty, and respect. We need to live with kingdom values. Yet, like the opening story, I am a person of self preservation and do not see the God moments that define history. I want to be the man who boldly heals and reaches out to others but I just don't have enough faith. All these men and women have one big thing in common and that is their confidence in You. Tonight, I really struggle to know that You are still God and still good. I want to believe in Your goodness and Godness, but I really struggle this week. My continual prayer is to know that You care because right now, I feel really abandoned by You. Please help me to know that You care and that You still heal and help us today.

September 23, 2012
Defending the Decrees of the King

Our pastor and his wife came back from their one month vacation today. They shared special green bean cookies with the congregation. The sermon today was taken from the baptism of Jesus in Matthew 3. What I like about the pastor is that for some reason his message is always simple and he always includes the phrase "you are never useless with God" in his sermon. I don't know why he says that so much and maybe it has something to do with the fact the average age of the church is 75, but I also need to hear that right now also. I feel so useless right now. I mean really useless. My dad has a teaching ministry and right now I have no use in the church.
"WE'VE seen how God has called us to glory and how true humility and honor are vital attributes for carrying that glory properly. Humility and honor are sustained by understanding and maintaining a heart of covenant love for God and each other. Bill Johnson says, "You can tell what a person loves by what he hates." God loves His children, He is jealous for them and hates anything that violates love. He calls it injustice. As we grow in His heart for one another and for the world, we begin as royalty to develop a hatred for injustice and a deeply rooted drive to see it undone.
Let's look at the need for justice in a few of the characters we've studied in this book. If y7ou remember, Moses always knew he was a Hebrew but grew up as a prince in Pharaoh's house. He was raised in an environment where the contrast between his situation and that of his people was in his face. One day he sees two of his brothers being mistreated by an Egyptian and takes action (see Exod. 2:11-12). What caused Moses to defend his brothers? Why didn't he just hang out in the palace and watch movies? Why do people who "have it made" mess up their comfort /one to stand up for some poor soul who is being abused?"
I really like this point about you can tell what a person loves by what he hates. God loves the church. God hates anything that destroys the covenant relationship with His church namely sin. God loves justice and hates injustice. The author goes on to discuss the story of Moses. He was moved to do something about the injustice done to the Hebrews, his own people. Many of us would have been content hanging out in the palace. I know I sure would. God doesn't call us to sit quietly in the church and turn a deaf ear to the injustice even in our own backyard.

"While Paul was provoked by what he saw going on in Athens, Gideon was a man who became provoked by what wasn 't going on in Israel. Before we meet Gideon in Judges 6, let me describe the historical setting. The Midianites, Amalekites and the armies of the east were oppressing his country. The Lord had already sent a prophet to remind the Israelites of their history7 with the God of Heaven, and how He freed them from Egyptian oppression using powerful signs and wonders.
Unfortunately, no such deliverance had come for Israel yet. As a result, we meet Gideon hiding in a winepress, trying to save the wheat crop from the enemy who came at harvest to destroy the fields. An Angel of the Lord came to him with this great proclamation: "The Lord is with you, O valiant warrior." Gideon's response was stunning. He said, "O my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about, saying. Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?' But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand of Midian" (Judg. 6:12-13).
Gideon was tired of hiding in the winepress beating out wheat. (Have you ever been sick and tired of being sick and tired?) He had been hearing the prophet's reminder of all Israel had seen God do, and he wanted to know why there was such a huge gap between the miraculous works of the past and Israel's utter powerlessness to change their present circumstances. Like us, he wanted to know why there was such a distance between what the Bible said there should be and what he was actually experiencing. Royalty cannot live with this incongruity in their hearts.There is a passion that lies in our souls that causes us to rise up and confront the injustice of our day.This passion was boiling under the surface of Gideon's soul, waiting for an opportunity7 and encouragement from the Lord in order to act.
It's great to hang out in the palace and enjoy all the benefits of being the King's kids, but the more we begin to walk in our royal identity, the more we are going to find something rising in us when we are exposed to injustice. For many of us, the need for justice has been disempowered by false beliefs we've embraced in the midst of unresolved injustices we've experienced. But as we encounter God's faithfulness in our own lives, we will find ourselves provoked to action."
I think I am drawn to Gideon more than most of the people we find in the Bible. He says he is the least in his family and his family is the least also. That can be said of myself. I am the youngest, the only unemployed, and the only disabled in my family. My parents do not have much money and my mom is a child care provider. My parents are also not educated. I feel powerless and I know my parents also are even though both of my older brothers are educated and have respectable jobs, I personally have no source of income or purpose. I feel like Gideon that God has abandoned me and there is an inconsistency between what the Bible says about the miracles and power of God in the past and the absence of God now.

"This is just one of the stories I have experienced while using my gifting to right injustice. I have had similar experiences all over the United States. I don't understand people who think that Americans aren't hungry for God. Everywhere I go I see folks who are famished and longing for a spiritual awakening, and we have the ability to demonstrate a gospel of power.
I am convinced that many people who are caught up in witchcraft are the "unpaid bills" of the church.A lot of these folks have experienced spiritual realities and come to our churches to find an explanation for this dimension of life, but only find a powerless religion. It is sad but true that most people wouldn't know whether God showed up in church or not, because so little of modern Christianity requires Heaven's intervention. Jesus never expected people to believe in a gospel absent of power.Therefore Jesus said, "If I don't do the works of My Father, do not believe Me" (John 10:37).The people who can't find power in church visit a seance or a cult meeting and find the eneirry's counterfeit power.Although it's the dark side, it is real, and they turn to it. If they cannot find supernatural power in the church, they will sadly go to where they can. Proverbs 27:7 says, "To a famished man any bitter thing is sweet."
At Bethel Church, as in many other churches that are rising up in this hour, we see miracles of healing, salvation, and deliverance each week in our services."

Prayer:
Father, like so many, like Giedeon, I am so tired of powerless religion, empty of Your might and healing and transformative strength to make hopeless situations turn around. I pray for breakthrough even in my life with challenges I cannot handle and depression that does not lift. Father, please let me experience Your presence and power in my life. I want to see Your glorious healing and feel Your hope that restores my soul. In recent weeks, I feel like giving up on life like so many of the testimonies in this book. I don't want empty relation which is void of Your love and power. Father, more than any period in my life, I need You now.

September 22, 2012
Royalty Is Dying to Be Together
I visited the disability ministry for the past two weeks and then e-mailed the leader about my interest and for her thoughts. Saturday came and she never responded. I had this idea that she did not have an interest in me being there. Her supervisor requested a meeting between the three of us to discuss ministry opportunities but she backed out of the first scheduled meeting the day of and the week after she never re-scheduled with us. The interesting thing is that she appears very friendly in person, but has ignored each of my e-mails and her supervisor's attempt to schedule a meeting with the three of us. It seems then more and more as though she does not want me to be a part of her ministry team. I felt a bit discouraged at times tonight, but I know the truth is that it is far better to not be a part of a ministry where I am not wanted than to be there and feel like they don't want me to be there. White churches more and more feel like they are against colored people and me being a colored person with a disability makes me more lower in value than colored people. I so badly want to find a place to serve and belong where I am valued.

"FOR some, the word royalty may inspire images of the kings of old who used their endless wealth and power to fulfill their wanton pleasure through their harems filled with concubines. Concubines cohabited with the king without covenant.Therefore their children didn't carry the king's name, nor did they receive any inheritance.
Our King has no concubines! He is a righteous and holy King who teaches His sons and daughters that passion must only be expressed inside the boundaries of purity and that children are to be the fruit of covenant relationships.
People who are lost in darkness need more than a power encounter with God for true and lasting change to take place in their lives. They need a relationship with the Lord and His people. The power of God delivers us out of the clutches of the devil, destroys the disease of sin and thrusts us into the Kingdom of His beloved Son as a newborn child of God.The born-again experience is only the beginning of life as a new creation, and that life requires nurturing and care from the family of God for it to grow. Obviously the same is true of natural birth, which is why, from the very beginning of time, God intended children to be the fruit of a loving, passionate relationship between a husband and wife."
I cannot imagine being a child where I do not share any of the benefits of sonship and the my mother is one of many wives to my father. I just cannot picture that. Thankfully, it is not so in God's kingdom. Nurture and care is suppose to be present in the family of God. Just the other night I had been thinking of the churches I want to in New York. I visited six young adult groups and twelve churches. I never felt at home in any of them except for the Chinese church but the thing was I did not speak any Mandarin, so I went with the church next to campus where for two years I never felt like I belong. Community is so hard to find. Spiritual nurture and care is hard to find,. I can only dream of community now as I stay home most of the time because of my health condition. Years ago I felt so connected to Acacia, but most of those friends are scattered throughout the world now. Things continue to change, but spiritual community is essential, a group that expresses the love and nurture of God.
"The Bible says, "Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived and bore Cain" (Gen. 4:1 NKJV).The word "knew" here in the Hebrew does not mean sexual intercourse. The Bible assumes that you understand that Cain was not conceived through immaculate conception. Rather, the word "knew" is the Hebrew wovd yada. It means to have a deep, intimate relationship with someone. God is saying that Adam had a deep personal relationship with Eve, and out of that place of intimacy, Cain was conceived.
God fashioned the blood covenant right into nature itself. For years scientists have been bewildered over what purpose the hymen plays in the body of a woman. It seems to have no physical reason for being there. When it is broken it does not heal like every other part of the body. One day I realized that God only wants children to be born out of a covenant relationship between a husband and wife, therefore He provided the blood so that the covenant could be ratified before the children were conceived.
In our society, it has become commonplace for children to be conceived from a one-night stand or a brush with passion. Worse yet, some children are the product of a rape. Rape occurs when one person forces their will upon another. We live in a culture that desires intimacy without responsibility and pleasure without covenant.Weil look more at the fruit of that desire in a moment, but I want to point out that unknowingly, much of the Church has been influenced by this mind-set. Week after week we see people born again at our altars. But where are they? Most of them, not long after they weep in repentance, are thrust into a struggle for survival.
None of this comes close to mirroring God's plan, which is for new believers not just to be applauded as they are going forward to the altar, but also to be received by a family who will personally feed and lead them.The worldly culture has helped create a strange mentality in some of the Church. We think nothing of people being born from a night of ¦passion," only to be left at our altars with a prayer they don't understand and a Bible they can't read."
If there is one problem in the church which I have noticed it is discipleship. Young Christians as well as old Christians are not connected to a mentoring relationship. New believers are given a Bible they don't fully understand. We have a mass of stillborn spiritual births. After a short while they go back into the world. I am no longer impressed about evangelistic crusades where they report 5,000 people made confessions of faith. Because each one of these people needs a church and mentor to take care of these young Christians and the church is not equipt to handle this.
I like it when the Bible explains God's intention for things and to know what things mean. Many do not want to take sides on the issue of gay marriage. My dad has taught Genesis twice now and it seems clear that God intends for Adam and Eve to be in a covenant relationship. Sexual intimacy was never meant to be a one night fling and merely about pleasure without responsibility. In the Bible, the covenant was marked by the shedding of blood. So it is in the sexual act between a man and woman the first time as demonstrated by the description of the purpose of the woman's hymen. God wanted it to be holy and set apart. The children born would be out of that covenant and sacred relationship. Marriage is sacred. Sex is sacred. The spiritual comparison is also clear. The relationship between Christ and the church is sacred.

"I will never forget the night that Kathy and I received the Lord. I was 18 and Kathy was 15 years old at the time.
I had an encounter three years earlier that sent me on a journey to find God. My mother had become very sick with psoriasis and her body was covered with a rash. To make matters worse, for nearly a year we had a prowler looking through our windows at night and terrorizing us. One night I even took a shot at him after I awoke to find him coming through my bedroom window.
The police were at our house several times a week. My mother was sleeping on the couch with a shotgun. I would wake up in the middle of the night and hear my mom crying as she struggled to keep herself together.This was all extremely unsettling for a 15-year-old boy who was the oldest of three children. We were not raised in a religious home and therefore I didn't really know if there was a God. One summer night, at about three o'clock in the morning,the pressure got to be too much for me. I sat up against my headboard. It was pitch dark and I could hear my mother weeping quietly in the front room.
I cried out in desperation, "If there is a God, if you heal my mother, I will find out who you are and I will serve you the rest of my life!"
An audible voice answered, "My name is Jesus Christ and you have what you requested!"
The next morning my mother woke up completely healed. Her psoriasis was gone! Within a few days the police caught the prowler and life began to change.
A week or so passed and I was lying on my bed around midnight contemplating these amazing events when the voice spoke to me again.
He said, "My name is Jesus Christ. You said if I healed your mother you would serve me and I am waiting!"
I began searching for God everywhere. I would go to different churches and stand in the back during the service and wait to see if God was there. I would often leave in disappointment saying to myself,"The God who spoke to me isn't here."
Finally, three years later, Kathy and \ were invited to a friend's fellowship. It was a home group packed with young people. They were all excited about Jesus. We came in and sat down on the floor with about a hundred other kids.The worship started and everyone began to sing passionately with their hands raised. As the music died down, the leader gave an invitation for anyone who wanted to receive Christ. Kathy and I raised our hands and prayed a prayer asking the Lord to forgive our sins and come into our lives.
We didn't realize it then, but what happened next would forever change our lives. After the meeting ended the leader came over and introduced himself. He explained what it meant to be saved, how we were newborn babies in the kingdom and we needed to be fathered. He then introduced us to three young men and asked which one of those men we wanted to "father" us. I didn't realize that "fathering" wasn't normal in church at that time because I hadn't been in church much. We picked a man named Art Kipperman who was about three years our senior. He and his wife, Cathy, became our spiritual parents. It was awesome having someone to mentor us and speak into our lives. We had a relationship with them from that point on.
A few y7ears later we moved up to the Trinity Alps in northern California. We lived there a year without the benefit of having a spiritual father and mother living alongside us. I was starving to be nurtured and felt lost. I began to cry out for God to send me a father."
I can identify with the author in this passage. I am right now going through a bit of a crisis. Every day I pray to know the God over life and can heal us and help us in our difficulties. Tonight, more than ever I feel like God has forgotten and abandoned me and has turn me on mute. In addition, I need a spiritual mentor and feel lost and struggling in my faith but there is no mentor for me. I wish I had someone older in the faith who would pray with me and give me some sound Biblical counselling in regards to life. All of us, whether new born or old, need spiritual mentors. This is an essential part of the normal Christian life. We see it here in this passage a church that values discipleship for new believers. This is how it should be. Sadly, there is no such thing in our church maybe because the church is comprised of mostly women in their 80s and a few in their 60s. This is an unusual church missing many generations and so not a healthy picture of how the church sould be.
"God's desire is for the bride and the bridegroom to be so passionately in love with one another that children are the natural outcome.The very presence of our children reminds us of the covenant love that we share.When conceived in love rather than lust, the natural outgrowth of children and their parents is an unbreakable, unchangeable and everlasting bond. Their children's hearts become tablets on which husbands and wives write their love letters to one another. The outcome of this kind of relationship is that the children are secvire, well-adjusted and have a healthy self-worth because their parents value them.
When the Church of Jesus becomes a family instead of a harem, people won't just come to church, they will become the church. It will no longer be a place they go to but a tribe they live in, a people they have responsibility for and a family that nurtures one another in good times and in bad, in sickness and health, until death do us part. They won't change churches just because the worship isn't as good as Joe's Super Church down the street.They will be committed to a family where they hear the voice of their Shepherd in the people who are leading them.
Covenant also means that people belong to a fellowship to be a contributor rather than a consumer. Covenant breaks the back of the pressure that leaders fee! to perform because their flock hasn't come to be entertained but they have come to be led."

"There are so many Kellys in the world who are either born outside of covenant, or experience their parents breaking covenant through divorce. There are many other children who have moms and dads that parent as a hobby or as a side job because they are out chasing "success." When loving relationships are absent in the lives of children, another message is written on their hearts, which is not love, but rather rejection and abandonment. These things get carved into their tender little hearts through reckless words and lonely nights.
The same condition is prominent in the Kingdom. Much like my little brother who was not fathered, we in the Church have given birth to children and then left them fatherless and trying to survive on their own. Jesus never intended for us to make Christians but rather to make disciples.The word disciple means "learner."The very nature of a disciple is that they need someone to teach them.
What happens to the new believers who are not parented? Most of them go back into the world from which they came. Later when someone tries to win them back to Christ, it is nearly impossible.They think, "I've already tried that and it didn't work."The truth of the matter is that what they experienced has little to do with the gospel. The gospel means "good news." A large part of the "good" that's in the "news" is that we were all supposed to be born into a family that cared for us, not just be influenced by fanatical people who cared mostly about winning souls rather than adopting sons and daughters."
 
"This transition from concubine to covenant must take place so the Church once again can be "The Family of God.'The mark of true royalty7 is the ability to lay down our lives in covenant with others for the sake of the Kingdom. As the Church truly becomes a family7 and gives birth to sons and daughters, expressing the covenant we have with the Bridegroom, the foundations of our cities will be rocked.This will cause a dramatic contrast between the world's lust and God's love! At last the world will receive what it is longing for.. .the supernatural, unconditional love of the Father who loves us as sons and daughters. It's about time that we give them the real thing!"
Prayer:
Father, there is a major difference between the world's lust and Your covenant love. One seeks a one night stand without responsibility and is self seeking the other is sacrificial and in it for the long term. Yet, we have so many children today who have never experienced Your love or the good news. This chapter is so powerful and so true. I feel lost right now not having a spiritual mentor and in this season of my life I feel abandoned and forgotten. Tonight as Donna never got back to me it feels like she does not want me to be a part of the disability ministry. I long to find a ministry to serve but I have not found a place that welcomes me. Father, please help me to find the right spiritual community to belong, to serve, and to give.

September 21, 2012
Honor—The Yellow Brick Road

It is Friday again, and this week really went by fast. I did not go to any restaurant today because I was really full from last night's dinner. I actually did not go anywhere today other than to the Chinese grocery store with my dad. My knee today is a little painful more so than usual. During these moments it becomes quite difficult to want to go anywhere or do anything. Ours is a generation of comfort over sacrifice. Although I really would have liked it if I had some place to go today, I prefer that I did stay home. I am still wondering whether or not to go to Teen Harbor tomorrow, I e-mailed the leader and asked for her thoughts in regards to me joining the ministry team but she still has not replied. I will have a better idea tomorrow I suppose. This chapter today is about honor. It is a virtue that is missing today.
"MY mother's family is of Spanish descent and I spent a lot of time with them as I grew up. Honor was an integral part of our culture. My grandfather and grandmother were the eldest members of our family. They were the most respected people in any gathering that included them and the best seats in the house were always reserved for them. If one of the children sat in one of their seats, the rest of the family would just look over at them as if to say, "You can't be that rude! "We allowed the elderly to be served first and spoke to them with respect at all times, whether we agreed with them or not. We also always opened doors for women and gave them our seats. I can't remember anyone ever telling me to honor people, but I was born into a culture that modeled it.
Honor is a lost virtue in our nation.This fact was driven home to me at a Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry retreat. There were about 120 students present that weekend. Some of the students came over to my table late in the evening and began to ask questions. Within a few- minutes about 30 students were huddled around the table while I told "war stories.'They were all trying to participate in a very noisy conversation. A young man was sitting on the bench next to me. Later in the conversation, a middle-aged woman arrived. Finding no seat, she stood behind me so she could listen in on the conversation.
 I said to the young man who was sitting next to me, "Please get up and let Julie sit there."
He snapped back,"I was here first!"
I said to him, "She's a woman; I want you to give up your seat for her."The tension rose for a moment, but he finally got up and gave her his seat.
This y7oung man was one of our best students and has a great heart, but he was taught,"If you want a good seat,you need to get there early!" He was raised with a paradigm that valued "looking out for yourself" instead of honoring others. Thinking about honoring someone above himself hadn't entered into his equation. He had no grid for what I was sharing with him.
That young man is not alone. Honor has been almost completely- removed from our culture. Many of you reading this book may struggle with this chapter for the same reason that the young man did not want to give up his seat. The whole idea that some people deserve more honor than others seems unfair. However, the kingdom mind-set is completely different than that. It's difficult to read the Bible without being exposed to a culture of submission with levels of honor and authority."
Honor is missing today. We can see this when we ride the public buss. We have older women, pregnant women and blind men standing on the buss and some young person does not want to get up. He has the I got here first mentality. Years ago I would get on the buss and whoever was sitting next to the door immediately knew to get up. Now, either the driver needs to ask and sometimes still they do not get up. Ten years ago as an undergrad at Berkeley in the train system called BART, the seats next to the door were specifically for the elderly and people with disabilities. The sign was in writing and the announcement also provided the verbal communication. Still, it was usually some young kids who would not get up. When I think about these ideas, I think about when we go for a walk along the bike path. People who are 40 and older will say "Hi" while young kids never say "Hi". To my parents, they consider it rude and disrespectful to pass someone by and not say "hi". During the summer months, we ran into about 5-7 female joggers in their 20s, some white, some Asian, interestingly none of the Asian girls ever said "hi" but one white female said "hi". I say interestingly because one would think that people of the same race would say "hi" to each other. Some would think that the author and I are too much focused on tradition, but this dishonor says a lot both about this younger generation and the state of our future. We are raising a generation with no regard for human life and a leaning towards selfishness. We will be in a world of trouble once the babyboomer generation dies off and the conscience of man then will be all but gone.
As I write this I remember an incident my junior year of high school. We were outside my math class after lunch waiting for the teacher. A friend of mine Grace who is the same year has a friend name Suson who is a freshman. She was very intelligent, attractive, and also two years younger than us. The teacher came and open the door. Suson tried to go first, but Grace stopped her and said "Let Osmond go first. He's more honorable". I was a bit surprised by this statement, but get an idea of what she was talking about. I am not sure if she was a Christian, but she sure taught me a lesson in Christian life fifteen years ago. We should look for ways to honor others.

"He told me, "Revival is not coming from the youth, but from ONE generation, old to young? He reminded me of the passage in the Book of Acts that says, "It shall be in the last days, God says, that I will pour forth of My Spirit on all mankind; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy7, and your young men shall see visions and your old men shall dream dreams" (Acts 2:17).Take note that revival does not have a gender, a generation, or a social class. God went on to show me that every time the "youth message" was preached, the middle-aged and the elderly were being told, through omission, that they weren't important or valued anymore. He told me that the devil knew that he couldn't stop worldwide revival by resisting it, so he has tried to curse the planet by separating the generations.
The prophet Malachi saw this coming long ago and prophesied about it. Here is what he said about the last days:
Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse (Malachi 4:5-6).
This passage makes it clear that as the generations join hands, the curses over our land will be broken. God went on to explain to me that the prince of the power of the air has influenced modern thought to value young people above the elderly in a way that dishonors older folks.The Lord showed me that the Bible intentionally gives more honor and respect to the elderly, but that our culture disempowers them. I began to understand that the wrong spirit was influencing many preachers and they were playing right into the hands of the evil one."
This passage is like a sharp sensation right to my spirit. God never intends for the generations to be separated. When we miss a segment in our church, we are in trouble. Our church has old but not young. For a while now, I felt so filled with boredum with being in an aging church. I did not value the older women as God does. This is the work of the devil to separate and create friction. Generation specific fellowships are good for fostering peer interaction, but we should not separate the generations. It is like when we have gender specific groups and race specific groups and class specific groups. This should not be. We are all equals in the eyes of God.

"Honor is one of the greatest attributes of nobility in the entire Bible. When the kingdom is present inside us, honorable behavior comes naturally to us. We give honor to all men not just because they deserve it, but also because we are honorable citizens of the King. When we walk in our royal call, our behavior is not determined by our temporal environment but by the eternal environment that lies inside us.
Whenever we treat people honorably even if they refuse to honor us, we demonstrate that we have a standard within us that isn't determined by the people around us. We don't just honor people because they are honorable, we honor people because we are honorable. For a Christian, honor is a condition of the heart, not just the product of a good environment. Honor doesn't mean we agree with the people we are honoring; it simply means we value them as people who have been created in the image and likeness of God."

"At Bethel Church, we have worked to honor everyone in our city7, regardless of their religious persuasion. One example of our effort to honor people is the way we have shown the Native American community7 that we value them. A few years ago we had a service in which we invited the leaders of the local Native American tribe to come to church so we could repent for the way our forefathers sinned against their people. Most of the people in our local tribe don't know God y7et, but they were deeply moved by our sincere love for them. As time passed the Lord began to talk to us about bringing forth fruit of our repentance. We invited the tribal leaders back to our church and gave them a $500-a-month honorarium to bless and honor them. We made a covenant with them that we would continue giving this money for as long as we remain leaders of Bethel Church.
The local tribe has come back to our church on several occasions to honor us with gifts. We have developed a great relationship with them and GOD IS MOVING AMONG THEIR TRIBE! We are seeing firsthand how God designed life to flow through our honor.
Life flows through honor. I pray that we gain understanding of how to honor God and all people in this world, regardless of age, religious background, or persuasion."
Prayer:
Father, it is so true, life flows through honor. I love how this chapter ends with this powerful illustration. We need to see people, all people regardless of what they look like through Your eyes. I confess that I am not happy attending a church where the average age is 75 and I am the only young adult. Please help me to change my attitude and to cherish all people and honor all people especially the elderly. I sometimes treat my dad more like a friend which isn't bad but it opens up for disrespect sometimes. Please help me to honor my parents. This world is in trouble with the younger generation dishonoring others. We hear of school bullies and school violence more and more and young kids don't know how to value human life. We are in trouble and really in need for Your people to take the lead in honoring others.

September 20, 2012
All the Way Down to the Top

Today is Thursday, and it is just another day. Nothing planned, nothing to look forward to. My parents took Daniel for a morning walk and I decided to join them. My dad pushed my chair, while my mom pushed Daniel in the stroller. Daniel wanted to walk for a little while so he walked next to my mom. Then, dad had an idea to have me hold Daniel in my lap while dad pushed my wheelchair. Daniel really liked that. One middle-age lady passing by commented by saying "three generations?". Mom commented after the lady left and said "I wish". I too wish I was taking my baby boy out for a walk, but the child is not mine. Daniel is 18 months and at age 31, having an 18 month old is not inconceivable. In church there are a couple of nine year old girls and my dad picks them up for church since the parents work. It is also possible that the girls could be my children had I married straight out of college. Sometimes when we take four children, one sits in the front since our car has three seats in the front and three in the back. The oldest sits with us in the front and asks questions about a lot of things. In these times, and when I held Daniel while during our morning walk, I wish I have the perminant joys of being a parent and not the temporary and illusionary ones. One difficulty in not being able to see myself as God sees me is that no woman in the United States, in the three cities where I have lived ever had romantic feelings for me. Fourteen years, three cities, four degree programs, thousands of women in their late teens and 20s. Statistically speaking, every one of my programs were female dominated (English literature, sociology, social work, and education). I have come to the conclusion therefore that there is no woman in the United States, possibly Canada or anywhere in the western world who wants to be with a man who was born sight impaired. It is harder to find out about non-western countries since I haven't the financial resources to go. I am on some e-mail lists for blind discussions and this is a huge problem for the blind population. We face high unemployment numbers and low rates of marriage because of a persistent discrimination and lack of integration to participate fully in the practice of being human. 

This morning I began with such a simple and short prayer as God's love and care seems less and less real to me in this season of my life. Before I got out of bed I prayed that I would experience God's care today. At night often I tell Him that I feel very isolated, alone, and as though I have no support while going through this health challenge. Early in the evening today, nearly 5:00, I got an e-mail asking if I wanted to have dinner. Random e-mails are always the best e-mails and often it is the workings of the Holy Spirit and His timliness. I agreed and we went to Happy Corner because we haven't gone there in a while and I like restaurants with positive names. With my health condition, it is always good to be outside not only for fresh air and sunlight, but simply to be around other people. There was nothing magical about the food or the restaurant, but being out with my friend had a restorative and positive effect on my health. God powerfully answered my prayer this morning and I experienced His care in a real way.
"RECENTLY I was leading a prophetic training session at a ministry - school. We began the class by talking about the primary purpose of prophetic ministry and started to share that our first priority as a prophetic person is to find the treasure God has hidden in the life of each and every person He has created. In the middle of telling them that we are to "discover and call out the greatness that the Lord had hidden in the lives of people," one of the pastors joined us from another room. I had never met him before and I was unaware at the time that he was part of the leadership team.
Before I could go on, he said, "I have a question for you."
"Okay," I responded, "what is it?"
"I think God is great," he said.
"Yeah, and.. .did I say something that made you think I don't believe that God is great? "I asked.
"You said that people are great.' I think you are teaching a doctrine that promotes pride in people by trying to discover the greatness that is in them," he continued.
I was becoming just a little "fried," so I responded,"I believe that religion emasculates and castrates people in the name of humility!"
We were sitting in a room that had a beautiful picture on the wall next to us. I pointed to the painting and said to him, "Let's pretend that you were the artist who painted that picture."
"Okay," he said, looking a little uptight.
I motioned to the picture and yelled, "What a stupid-looking painting! Those colors are terrible! That thing is so ugly!" I paused for a minute. "Now," I said to him, "does demeaning the painting somehow glorify the artist?"
"No!" he answered.
Now I had him cornered, so I continued, "Not only is God Himself the one who painted us, so to speak, but Jesus was the one who sat in the chair and modeled for the masterpiece! Remember, we were made in God's image and in His likeness. We didn't create ourselves. God created us.We are the work of His hands.When we tear ourselves down we aren't being humble, we are being stupid!"
He looked stunned. He said, "I have three theological degrees, yet I've never been taught this."
I don't know where to start. There is something to be said about a person with three theological degrees. At the same time, this is a very interesting point here. God is great Versus people are great. Are we fostering pride in people when we show them they are great? One side would have pointed to the fact that we have fostered so much self-esteem in this current generation that they have a false sense of confidence and a real problem of selfishness. There is a lot of pride in the younger generation today. Which is not to say that there are not broken and abused children. I choose the author's side that we need to value people as God does. He created each person in His image. He placed so much value in people that He would ultimately die for humanity to save and redeem us. We are the work of His hands. I know this in my head. I have a tough time transfering this to my heart.

"We were created to share God's glory and bring Him glory. After all, who is greater—a king over a bunch of bozos, or a king over a great army of confident soldiers who take pride in serving their king? Isn't it true that the greatness of the King's subjects actually glorify the King Himself?
The account of King Nebuchadnezzar's dream in the fourth chapter of Daniel shows us that learning humility doesn't mean we have to think of ourselves negatively. In the dream Nebuchadnezzar sees an angel cut down a huge tree, leaving only the stump. Daniel, his most trusted dream interpreter, tells him that the dream is about him. He is the tree, and he is about to get cut down because of his pride. Daniel urges the king to humble himself before God humbles him.
Twelve months later, Nebuchadnezzar is on the roof of his castle talking to himself about how awesome he is to have accomplished so much by himself. Suddenly he loses his mind. He is driven into the fields and lives like an animal for seven years. Finally, after seven long y7ears of complete insanity7, God restores his mind. The first statement out of his mouth when he can finally7 talk again is stunning:
At that time my reason returned to me. And my majesty and splendor were restored to me for the glory of my kingdom, and my counselors and my nobles began seeking me out; so I was reestablished in my sovereignty, and surpassing greatness was added to me (Daniel 4:36).
If we didn't know better, wouldn't we think that this was the kind of statement that provoked God to humble him in the first place? Once again, he is saying,"I am awesome!" But look at the next verse! He says, "Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise, exalt and honor the King of heaven, for all His works are true and His ways just, and He is able to humble those who walk in pride"' (Dan. 4:37).
Did you get that? King Nebuchadnezzar is saying that he's awesome, but God is more awesome. God's problem with Nebuchadnezzar was not his greatness, but his taking all the credit for it without acknowledging that God gave him his kingdom in the first place."
Learning humility can be a very difficult thing. One of the first verses that ever stood out to me was that God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. We see that also in this passage. King Nebuchadnezzar was made low when he praised himself but God restored him when he learned to honor God. At first glance it is hard to notice the difference. It is subtle. One form of self-praise is without God, but other kind attributes God as the source of glory and life. It is a little like a superstar basketball player who makes the winning shot and in the post-game interview gives the glory to God. God gets the glory in the end. I need to examine myself to see whether or not my accomplishments honor God or they glorify myself. It is a subtle difference but sometimes I can get caught with the wrong attitude.

"God has given the church a great call, and therefore it takes great people to accomplish it. If we fail to see our greatness, we will fall short of our call. Our pauper mentality and false humility have rendered much of the Church ineffective by diminishing our vision for the influence we are meant to have in the world. We can see this in the way we have perceived and pursued the Great Commission. In Matthew 28, Jesus gives us instructions on how worldwide revival is to take place: It is to begin with believers making disciples of the nations. We have reduced our Lord's Great Commission down to something we are more comfortable with, which is ministering to individuals rather than nations.We will talk more about this later. We usually target economically poor and broken individuals over individuals with influence and status. Our insecurity causes us to feel disqualified to reach the rich, educated, and powerful.
Scripture describes men and women of God who took hold of the positions of influence that had been offered to them and recognized that God was strategically placing them there.Their greatness was not for their own benefit, but to give the world a taste of the Kingdom of God. Today, where are the people like Joseph who will become a "father" to the Pharaohs of the world and see whole nations fall into the hands of God? (See Genesis 45.) What has happened to the Elijahs who confronted kings and changed history with their prophetic proclamations? What has become of people like Daniel, who stood in the courts of four worldly kings and won the most powerful nations of the time to God? Why aren't the Nehemiahs of our day around to rebuild our ruined cities? Why is it that giants such as abortion, homosexuality, racism, crime, and corruption are continually allowed to roam the earth and Wreak havoc on our children while the people of God cower behind Pews, hoping our government will pass a law to stop the big guys?
 "It is essential that the Body of Christ gets free from an ungodly, low self-esteem.We see throughout Scripture that when people get an identity change from God, they are catapulted into the destiny that once eluded them.
Gideon was a young man who was destined to change the course of history. Like most of us, his low self-esteem had promoted a false humility in him that reduced his life down to simply making a living. His story reads:
The angel of the Lord appeared to him and said to him, "The Lord is with you, 0 valiant warrior." Then Gideon said to him, "0 my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all His miracles which our fathers told us about, saying, 'Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?' But now the Lord has abandoned us and given us into the hand ofMidian." The Lord looked at him and said, "Go in this your strength and deliver Israel from the hand ofMidian. Have I not sent you?" He said to Him, "OLord, how shall I deliver Israel? Behold, my family is the least in Manasseh, and I am the youngest in my father's house" (Judges 6:12-15).
The angel knows that Israel's deliverance rests on his ability to impact Gideon's self-esteem. Like Gideon, many of us are fed up with the evils that surround us, yet it hasn't occurred to us that the miracle we have been praying for already lies within us.When God called him a "valiant warrior," Gideon was able to step into an identity that allowed him to bring about the justice that his heart yearned for. It is important for us to realize here that although it appeared that the Midianites were Israel's oppressors, the real bondage lay inside of Gideon.
His response to the angel gives us insight into the actual source of Gideon's fear. He said, "Is my family not the least in Manasseh and I am not the youngest?" His problem isn't so much that the enemy is so big but that he feels so small. You can always tell the size of a man's identi ty by the size of the problem it takes to discourage him."
"Humility isn't thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less.
True humility is born out of an awareness of God's greatness, grows in a heart full of gratitude, and matures in the awe of His passionate love for us. Prayer is an act of humility because the person who prays acknowledges the need for Heaven's help and fellowship with the Creator. Prayerlessness is the ultimate pride.True humility understands its need for the Father. Humility also has eyes to see the awesome work our God has accomplished in the lives of others. We humble ourselves by helping others "have their day in the Son" while loving them with the same love we have for ourselves. Somebody once said, "The grace of God humbles a man without degrading him and exalts a man without inflating him!"
Prayer:
Father, I am Gideon. I am the least in my family and my parents are the least in their family. I am the youngest, the only unemployed, the only unmarried, and I feel so discouraged about the state of my life. Father, what does it take for my life to turn around and for Your power and presence to fill my life? My life doesn't give You glory as I stay home most of the time and feel depressed most of the time. Where is the spirit of Joseph and Daniel and Moses who were world changers for Your kingdom in their time. Father, I want to be part of Your movement to bring about hope and healing in the world. Many times I feel like a spec of dust, insignificant and invisible. Remind me of my value and help me to become all that You intend.

September 16, 2012

Lizards in the Palace

I had never imagined in my life that I would attend a church with less than thirty people and not only that but it would be a church where the average age is about 75. In addition to it being 25-30 people with the average age of being 75, every gathering has a sense of its closure being near. I would never imagine being a part of a dying church. I never felt the calling that this is "my" place but since the beginning five months ago, I knew my dad would have a significant role in serving the Cantonese older population. I have no role in this church and thus know that I am insignificant here. This morning was no different. My dad taught his lesson from Genesis 5 and then service would follow. It has been a while since I have been able to worship. My health condition makes it so that I feel fatigue most of the time and the forty minute sermon spoken mostly in monotone doesn't help. I feel a deep sense of boredom and emptiness each Sunday morning. I never realize how important it is to have friendships in church with people my age until I became part of an aging church. Although there are 25-30 people, I feel alone, invisible, and insignificant.  
"KATHY and I took two of our grandchildren to Marine World some k. time ago. Elijah, who was three at the time, and his cousin Mesha, who was five, were in the hotel room with us, sitting on the bed.
They were watching a National Geographic documentary about reptiles on television. When it was over, Mesha looked at Elijah and said, "Let's play crocodiles and lizards!"
Elijah, although he is younger, is much stronger than Mesha. He said, "Yeah!"
Mesha said, "I am the crocodile and you are the lizard."
"Ok," Elijah said excitedly.
 Suddenly they both stood up on the bed and began to wrestle. Within a minute, Elijah had Mesha pinned down on the mattress.
"You can't do that, Elijah!" Mesha complained. "You are the lizard. I am the crocodile!"
At her protest, he immediately let her up. "What do lizards do?" he asked.
"They lick things with their tongues like this." She demonstrated by licking his cheek.
"Okay" Elijah said submissively.
A few seconds later, she had convinced him to lie down so she could get on top of him."Raaaaw! Raaaaw!" Mesha roared as she struggled to hold him down.
Every time Elijah started to push her off, she would say, "Elijah, you are a lizard. I am a crocodile! You can't do that. You can only use your tongue."
Finally, after about ten minutes, a little voice came out from under Mesha, "Papa, I don't want to play anymore."
This story reminds me so much of the game of life.The devil gives us names that disempower us.We become the lizards who can only use our tongues. He becomes the powerful crocodile. Then we spend our lives playing by his rules because we believe in the wrong name.
The devil is the accuser, and he often uses other people to propagate his alias identities over us. My first stepfather used to call me a "stupid ass" all the time. This resulted in me always feeling dumb, which really hindered my ability to learn. The name became a mental block, which manifested as a difficulty with reading. When I finished high school I only read at a third grade level.
I have met many women who were called "whores" by their fathers, then struggled with immorality their entire lives. Names can be prophetic declarations that define a person's identity. Because people act according to who they believe they are, these lies are ultimately acted out in their behavior.
We respond to our environment according to the way we see ourselves. Words spoken to us become names that we carry in our hearts. These names paint a portrait of us in our imagination and become the lenses through which we view our world. Sticks and stones are breaking our bones, but names are taking away our future!"
This is a very powerful passage from this chapter and I want to take some time reflecting on it. I especially like the illustration the author gives with his two kids. I know very little about animals and since I am sight impaired I actually cannot see how they behave and interact. I like the illustration with Elijah here. He knows he is stronger than his older sister and so pins her down. She being the smarter one says to him lizards can't do that, you are a lizard. So Elijah becomes disempowered and cannot use the strength that God has given him. It is like he is reduced to a small powerless creature when he knows he is so capable of more. I think for many of us, like myself, I feel like the lizard. My brother when I was younger often called me "stupid" and "idiot". So even when I got straight "A"s in schools I still felt like a stupid idiot and got discouraged at so many things I could not do. Even today, I feel really dumb sometimes. Most people would probably never imagine that some who just completed grad school with an "A-" average would feel stupid. Words are not only prophetic, they have the power to build up or to destroy others. LIfe and death is in the power of the tongue as James in his third chapter so vividly illustrates. We cannot be all that God intends when we are broken and beaten up by the verbal abuse that has both been given in the present and in the past. Yes, names take away our future. But, names have the power to speak life and potential. The author looks at Biblical examples of when God changed someones name.
"It is so important that we live by our God-given names and not by names that tie us to bondage. We must break free of all aliases that we have been given by the world. Jacob understood this principle well. In Genesis 32, we find Jacob at a river called "Jabbok," which means "empty and alone." His brother is after him, his wives are always arguing with each other and his father-in-law is mad at him. Like many of us, I'm sure Jacob realized that he was a big part of the problem, but he probably felt powerless to change himself. Jacob was compelled to deceive because, as I mentioned in the last chapter, his name meant "trickster." He was reminded of his shortcomings every time people would call him by his name. We will always act out of who we believe we are: Jacob deceived because his name was deceiver. His behavior eventually created a culture of deception around him, and consequently his wives also became liars and deceivers.
Suddenly, at the lowest part of Jacob's life, he encounters an angel. (You know you're having a tough life when even the angel sent to bless you doesn't like you!) He wrestles with him all night long. The angel mangles him, but Jacob refuses to let the angel go until he blesses him. The angel argues that his shift is over because it is morning and he has to leave. But Jacob persists.
Finally the angel asks him,"What is your name?"
He responds, "My name is Jacob."
The angel continues, "Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have striven with God and with men and have prevailed" (Gen. 32:24-28).
Can you imagine fighting with an angel all night long, getting thrashed, and letting him go just because he called you by a nickname? If you wrestled with an angel for one wish, wouldn't you ask him for a new house, a car, or something of monetary significance? Would you let him go just for a name change? You would if you understood the revelation Jacob had. His new name, "Israel," meant "a prince of God." The name released him into his prophetic destiny. It is no accident that after his name was changed, he became the father of one of the greatest nations in the world.
A prophetic declaration is more than mere words, because it releases grace to accomplish what it says. Names in the Bible were given to people as a prophetic declaration of their identity and actually released the very characteristics of their calling to them. Grace as well as disgrace is released by name-calling. Grace is the "operational power of God." Grace is the God-given ability to become what y7ou couldn't become before you received the declaration. Disgrace also has the power to release curses from the dark side.
In the Book of Genesis, God invited Adam to create with Him by naming the animals. When Adam named the animals he was prophesying their DNA and what they were to become in the world, not just calling them a normal animal name like "Fifi" or "Spot!"
The power of a declared name is also illustrated in the third chapter of Genesis. Here Adam named his wife "Eve." Eve means "mother of the living." She was barren until her name was changed from "Woman" to "Eve."After Adam's prophetic declaration, Eve gave birth to Cain and Abel.
 Once we realize who we are, our behavior changes because we always act out of our "self-understood" identity. Abram had to have a name change to fulfill his call. God prophesied to Abram that he was going to be the father of many nations. Before he could come into his destiny7, his name had to be changed from Abram, which means "exalted father," to Abraham, "the father of a multitude." His name had been limiting his destiny!
When the Lord met me and told me I was a pauper who had become a prince, He was giving me a name change. Once I knew my new name, I had access to the grace 1 needed to begin walking in a new identity."
The success of a Bible teacher is to make a passage or an idea clear and also to make connections we have not thought of before. I have always known there is power in a name, but did not make the connections between the ideas here. Eve became the mother of all the living and did not have children until Adam gave her a name. God changed so many names including Peter and Abraham and Jacob. These men would profoundly be men of influence in the church. Whatever name someone gave us that took away our power, God has the power and authority to change our name to something spectacular. So many of us including me needs a name change from stupid idiot to God's workmanship. I especially like the early comments about Jacob. His name means trickster and that is who he became. He tricked others. God changed his name to be prince of God. What an identity change. From sinner to saint. God had so many more plans for Jacob, as he has with each of us.

"Did you notice that some of the text quoted above is an Old Testament verse? Paul is not saying that we don't know what God has prepared for us; he is saying that they (the Old Testament believers) didn't know what God had prepared for them because they were not "new creatures." But we have the mind of Christ because we are born of His Spirit. We think like God.
We still have a free will, and we can still choose to sin. However, as saints it doesn't come easily anymore.There is a river of God that runs through our souls and carries us towards the throne. If we don't paddle we will end up at God's house. We are prone to righteousness. That is why Paul said, "It is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me" (Gal. 2:20)."

"The righteousness of God comes into our lives by faith. In order for us to believe in something we have to know that there is something to believe in.The entire spirit world operates by faith, not just God's world. For instance, fear is the manifestation that we have faith in the wrong kingdom. When we believe something is going to go wrong, we have given our faith to the enemy. By doing this we have just empowered the one that Jesus disarmed at the Cross. When we believe in God, we empower the Holy Spirit and the angels to bring about His will."
"If we've been taught that after receiving Christ we are still sinners, we will struggle with trying to do the right thing because we have put our faith in our ability to fail instead of His work on the Cross! We can spend the rest of our lives living under the curse of our old name,"sinner," or like Israel, we can receive our new name that has the power to alter our very DNA. We are Saints, holy believers, and Christians, which means we are "little Christs"! When the Father looks at us, He sees the image of the Son He loves."
Prayer:
Father, I love the way this author writes Christ-centered thoughts that encourage and build up our faith. Our name is Christian, we are little Christs. When You see us, You see the Son who You love and we know this for when Christ was baptized and came up out of the water You spoke those words of affirmation to Jesus. At times it is hard to know or feel Your love. I empower the devil by my thoughts of worthlessness and uselessness. Help me to empower the Holy Spirit with great faith. Help me to believe that You are God over the impossible and mighty in power and great in love. I love the thought that there is a river of God that runs through our souls pushing us forward to our heavenily destination. This world is not our home and I have never felt at home here. This season has been very hard. I have felt powerless and forgotten. Remind me I pray of Your love and constant care.

September 15, 2012
A Royal Flush
It is Saturday and for the second time I visited Teen Harbor, a disability ministry to teenagers. There is a childlikeness to individuals with disabilities and in particular people with developmental disabilities. One individual in particular in his upper teens was drawing and telling me a story about the drawing. I marvel at the simplicity of their joy. One staff was bouncing a ball to another individual and they played this for a good ten minutes. I think about how often I think too much about the depressing things in my life and that gets me into a worse mental state.

"WHENEVER we review the events of our lives apart from the blood of Jesus, we subject ourselves to the influence of the spirit of deception. In reality, my sinful past no longer exists. The Lamb of God purchased it with a payment in blood, forever removing my sins from the records of Heaven. The atoning blood of Jesus covers my sin, never to be uncovered again. Sin's power to destroy us is itself destroyed by a superior reality: forgiveness.
The devil keeps records of our past.Yet those records are powerless without our agreement. He is the accuser of the brethren, but Jesus is our defender. We make an agreement with the accuser whenever we look at our past apart from the blood. When we agree with the devil, we empower him. When he is empowered, he devours.
On the other hand, agreeing with God empowers us. It frees us from the power of a lie and enables us to live according to the will of God. This empowerment is not independent of God; it is empowerment because of God. When we agree with God we step into the power of truth, the momentum of the Cross. The truth is already in our favor because King Jesus died in our place. He not only died for us, He died «s us. Our agreement with God, which is always the focus and activity of faith, enables us to reap the fruit of truth. And that fruit is freedom! Faith grows by agreeing with God from the heart."
I love simple phrases that are easy to remember but really capture truth. When we empower the devil, he devours. This is so true in my own life. I agree with the devil about my worthlessness and this leads to discouragement and a cannot attitude. I see all the things I cannot do. I don't take risks because I think I am going to fail. New York was a huge risk but what happened is that I came back with mobility challenges and physical pain. I look now to New York with regret. When we agree with God we step into the power of truth. All of a sudden I question the Bible more than I have ever done. When God seems far, His truth seems relative. I have lost my respect for the truth of God when life gets difficult. The very interesting thing for me today is that I completed financial check in for seminary. I am officially registored now for my first semester of seminary. I feel more far from God than I have ever in my life and yet I just paid an enormous amount of money to take classes in Christian doctrine. It will probably not solve my different physical and spiritual challenges, but it will help in having a community of spiritual accountability.
"Living in forgiveness does not mean we are to forget our past. Rather, seeing my past through the blood of Jesus brings praise to my lips and frees me from the burden of a guilty heart. Jesus will be known throughout eternity7 as the Lamb of God; so we will always remember that it was the provision of the spotless Lamb that obtained eternal redemption for us.
I struggled for so many years with this truth. Shame and discouragement were close friends of mine. I would counter such feelings with more prayer, study, and reading about the lives of great men and women of God from the past.Yet my problem wasn't solved, even though I was doing what most would counsel me to do. I found that when our perspective is wrong, more study and prayer can actually add to our discouragement and shame, as it did for me. Every biography impressed me, but also made me feel hopeless.They were all too perfect. I couldn't relate to any of their God-encounters. It seemed that they were God's favorites, and I just existed. One day I heard a tape from David Wilkerson called, "Facing Your Failures." In it he talked about how the "great ones" all had failures and weaknesses, too. He shared some of his struggles and failures."
I too enjoy looking at the men and women of faith in the past. Their lives and faith impress me and at times I pray for my life to have that kind of faith and impact in my community. I fall short to these great giants of faith and it is very discouraging. Since May or so I prayed to have the faith of this author. I enjoy his books, the impact of his ministry, and the relationship he has with God. He has experienced the power and presence of God in ways I can only dream. All this is discouraging to me cause I begin to think that God only chooses some and not others to give the power to heal.
"When God's royalty touches our lives, we discover we are designed to live in God's glory. We no longer live in the bondages of our past- performance and comparison in our daily lives, but we know our worth in simply loving Him. For out of that springs living water and revelation for those who have not found the truth in the nations of the earth!"

"The Hebrew word for laughter in this verse tells us that she didn't give a sheepish chuckle. She actually mocked God and what He had said, and then made matters worse by lying to the Lord about doing so. But Hebrews 11:11 (NKJV) says, "By faith, Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed and she bore a child when she was past the age because she judged Him faithful who had promised."
This is the same woman! What happened? Apparently she repented, turning her heart to what God had declared to be her destiny. In doing so God rewrote her history, excluding the sin that is recorded in Scripture.What's written in Hebrews 11 shows us how God records our life's events in His Book of Remembrance. God wrote her story in such a way as to emphasize what pleases Him the most—her faith. It seems as if He is boasting all over Heaven about Sarah, "Did you see that courage and that great faith? Here's a lady—she can't bear a child, but she knows that I'm faithful!" You can see Him talking to the Scribe angel, "Make sure you put it like this...'That's my girl! She believed me—others wouldn't have, but she did!'"
When God views a believer's history like that, who are we to do otherwise? The blood actually changes our history into His story. Some years ago I heard a prophetic word that really touched my heart. In it, God spoke saying, "I will not remove the scars from your life. Instead I will rearrange them in such a way that they have the appearance of carving on a fine piece of crystal." Such is the love of God. What was despised becomes a testimony of God's grace—a thing of beauty!"
I never saw the comparison of the Genesis passage compared to the Hebrews passage like this but it is true. In Genesis Sarah is seen in a negative light because she laughs or as the author calls it mocks God with unbelief but at one point she changed and really believed God for this miracle. At times I lose faith that God is still God and that God can heal me. I lack faith to believe God can do the impossible. I get really discouraged sometimes even thinking about how God appears to be absent today. This passage about Sarah really encourages me in several ways. First, that there is hope for us who doubt God. Sarah doubted God that He would give her a child from her own body but later was praised for her faith. Second, this passage encourages me that not only our faith can change, but God really can do the impossible. I continue to pray for breakthrough. It is the half way point of September, and no breakthrough yet, but I trust God can still do the impossible.
The author says that what got him into trouble was introspection. He no longer does that but he prays that God will work in him. What follows is his prayer. I don't know if I am ready to pray his prayer or one like it, but I have it here for reading.
"It took a while, but I finally realized that my best moments (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually) were when I just did my best, and stayed away from introspection. This was a scary thing for me, because in my mind introspection was almost a rite of passage to my biggest dream— to be a revivalist. After years of struggling with the conflict of personal holiness, I prayed something like this:
Father,
You know that I don't do so well when I look inward, so I'm going to stop. I am relying on You to point out to me the things that I need to see. I promise to stay in Your Word. You said that Your Word was a sword— so please use it to cut me deeply. Expose those things in me that are not pleasing to You. But in doing so, please give me the grace to forsake them. I also promise to come before You daily. Your presence is like a fire. Please burn from me those things that are unpleasing to You. Melt my heart until it becomes like the heart of Jesus. Be merciful to me in these things. I also promise to stay in fellowship with Your people. You said that iron sharpens iron. I expect You to anoint the "wounds of a friend" to bring me to my senses when I'm being resistant toward You. Please use these tools to shape my life until Jesus alone is seen in me. I believe that You have given me Your heart and mind. By Your grace lama new creation. I want that reality to be seen that the name of Jesus would be held in highest honor."

 

September 14, 2012
Dungeons and Dragons
It is Friday, and I often think about Acacia on Fridays. It has been over two years since I have been to Davis. It is not so much that I do not like my dad's Cantonese group, but the average of the group is about 75 with no one except for me under 63. I seriously need people my age to communicate with and share life. These days it is very difficult to go outside. My dad's group meets up every other week and sometimes once every three weeks. The infrequency makes it easier to attend, but at the same time it makes it very hard to connect with anyone. Right now, perhaps more than ever, I really need Christians to connect and pray with. Fellowship is so important because other Christians shape us into who God wants us to be. This chapter is about dealing with the prison of our own bad tendencies.

"OUR past can become a prison that perpetuates the bondage of those who raised us. Somehow we unintentionally reproduce that same destructive culture in ourselves and in those around us.There are a few common ways that this happens in us. One of the ways we tether ourselves to the past is by reacting to those who abused us and spending our lives trying not to be like them.
I have counseled a lot of people over the years and have observed a common pattern among many of them: People typically become like the person they most despise. Alcoholics, for instance, are commonly raised by alcoholic parents. I personally have never met a child molester who wasn't a victim of molestation. At some point in the counseling session, there's nearly always a statement like,'! swore I would never be like the person who abused me, but I have become just like them." I know this struggle well myself. In spite of struggling not to be like my stepfathers through most of my early life, I started becoming an angry man just like them."
I mention previously about my brother in the previous post. I did not respect him growing up and really did not want to be like him. However, I have not put others down with my words. The problem is that I will often put myself down. I often look for ways to validate my own worthlessness and when I'm looking for evidence, I find a lot. I've internalized a lot of the hurtful things said to me over the years. We need to show grace not only to others, but also to ourselves. The author then goes and describes a Biblical example of how God works in our bad tendencies.
"I was becoming the very person I despised. One day I was reading the Old Testament and began to receive insight about my struggle through the story of Jacob and his father-in-law. Jacob was a trickster by nature. His name actually means "deceiver." He even deceived his own father out of his brother's birthright.A few chapters later, Jacob married into a family that gave him some of his own medicine. He worked for his father-in-law, Laban, for seven years so he could marry Laban's daughter Rachel. When he woke up on the honeymoon morning, Leah was in his bed. Laban had neglected to tell him that their family tradition dictated that the oldest daughter marry first. He finagled another seven years of work out of Jacob with this trick because Jacob still wanted Rachel.Thankfully he got her on credit! He received her a week later and then paid for her in small monthly installments over the next seven years."
Jacob's very name means trickster. He tricked his own brother out of the birthright. We would see instances of him tricking Laban but Laban would give Jacob a taste of his own medicine. Later on, as we read, Jacob's sons trick Jacob about Joseph's death. It is an interesting read about how our sins., when not dealt with come back in many different forms.
"As I pondered this unusual passage, it dawned on me that this was not a lesson in agriculture! God was demonstrating how we, His sheep, reproduce.The watering hole is a place of reflection, which means both gazing at something and meditating on it. Meditation involves our imagination. If we feed our imagination with thoughts of what we don't want to become and drink from the well of regret, we reproduce that very thing in ourselves. It doesn't matter what we want to reproduce. It's only important what we imagine while we are thinking and drinking at the watering hole of our imagination.
This principle is also illustrated in the creation of man. The Bible says we were created in God's image. In other words, what God imagined, we became. Proverbs says, "For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he" (Prov. 23:7). Our imagination is a very powerful part of our being. Everything that has ever been built, made, painted, or developed began in someone's imagination. We tend to reproduce what we feast our thoughts upon.
What I am realizing about many of us is that we spend much of our lives reacting to what we don't want to be instead of responding to the call of God on our lives. We waste a lot of energy trying not to be something. In order to not be something, I have to keep it in front of me so I can avoid it. The crazy thing is that I reproduce what I imagine. If I see what 1 don't want to be, just envisioning it causes me to reproduce it."

"We break out of this prison by responding to the call of God on our lives and meditating on His vision for us.The word meditation is related to the word medicine. In a positive sense, meditation means to "think in such a way as to make oneself healthy"We become the person He has called us to be when we meditate on the things of God and dream His dreams. The Psalmist wrote, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Ps. 37:4). Bill Johnson has a creative definition of desire. He breaks it down into two parts:"de" meaning "of," and "sire" meaning "to father."When we delight ourselves in God, instead of hanging out in our past, He becomes the father, the sire, of our dreams.
Mary illustrates this principle in her life. The Bible says, "But Man- treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart" (Luke 2:19)- She pondered the word of God in her heart and gave birth to the Savior of the world. What she imagined became flesh and dwelt among us through immaculate conception. When we dream with God, we become the masterpieces of His imagination."

"We must leave the prison behind to come into the palace. People of royally focus on who they are called to be. They have forgiven those who have hurt them, they have rejected the lies of the enemy, and they have embraced the truth. They don't live in the bondage of prison but in the wholeness of the palace. Let our journey as royalty begin!"
Prayer:
Father, I don't feel like royalty. I feel like trash that is discarded and forgotten. Help me to embrace the truth that I am made in Your image, that I have value because You have placed value on human life. I feel so defeated and discouraged throughout the day. Help me not to meditate on the things that destroy my faith and identity in Christ, but to focus on Your truth and those things that build up. I want to dream Your dreams and to become all that You intend. I want to leave the prison of discouragement, worthlessness, and invisibility for Your palace.