Contentment: Concluding Reflections
This reflection and journey has taken us about three months. It is now the final section. As I write this, there is still no definite summer placement as I await the response from one more agency. Yesterday had been a little bit discouraging with an early morning e-mail from one of the hospitals where I had asked about a possible internship. I wish that my post today would contain good news. The search for a summer placement has been continuous for ten weeks. It is hard at times to focus on the Provider rather than the problem.
Dillow opens up this last section with Psalm 84:
Psalm 84
1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
they are ever praising you.
Selah
5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baca,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.
8 Hear my prayer, O LORD God Almighty;
listen to me, O God of Jacob.
Selah
9 Look upon our shield, O God;
look with favor on your anointed one.
10 Better is one day in your courts
than a thousand elsewhere;
I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
12 O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you.
"As I read it again, I was reminded of the journey to calmness of heart. It speaks of a woman like you and me who sets her heart on pilgrimage. A pilgrim is defined as "a person who travels to a sacred place." Contentment is a holy place. According to this psalm, the woman is blessed because her strength is in God. As she travels through the valley of weeping, she makes it into a living spring (verses 5-6). My prayer is that you, too, will reach the living spring of contentment." (p. 201).
Contentment is indeed a holy place. Few ever find it. Discontent, stress, anxiety, greed and its siblings are constant companions for so many, even within the household of faith. Those who find contentment are like a living spring. This is so true. I can remember a few sermons when the pastor asks the rhetorical question of what would it be like to be around a Christian who is always thankful about everything. For some of us it would be a little bit annoying, but in truth those who are totally content and thankful for everything are like a living spring.
"I finally saw that although I have a steering wheel, I can give up control. My Driver (God) is totally in control. He has been on the road. He knows the way. He sees ahead to the very end or the
J . 1
road — to all my tomorrows. I can sit back and relax, converse wit the Driver, and enjoy the journey. My focus becomes Him instead of where I'm going." (p. 201).
I like how Dillow uses the car analogy. We think we are driving, but we have no idea where we are going or even the way. God sees the entire road and the entire map yet in our finite minds we want to take control of the steering wheel. I like the last sentence, our focus becomes Him rather than where we are going. It is not about the destination so long as we are in the car with the Lord. What matters is our relationship with Him ass our driver. I can relate to this analogy as I am blind and rely on people to drive me. It is sad when two people can be in the same car for hours and not say a single word and zero relationship exists. I love talking to my friends and family who drive me. It is about relationship. The same applies with our relationship with God.
Dillow returns back to her key verse and key thought.
"What I have been sharing with you throughout this book is that first, foremost, and finally, contentment is a yielding to our Great, Almighty, Holy King. "God ... is the blessed controller of all things, the king over all kings and the master of all masters" (1 Timothy 6:15, ph)."p. 202).
God is in control. Even when I don't understand it, when I can't see it. God is in control. To the degree to which I believe this and submit to His control will dictate my degree of contentment. One day ago after receiving the e-mail I was not ready to take the result too its logical conclusion if I cannot find an internship. It would mean going back to California without a degree and seemingly one year wasted. Though it is still very difficult, I have accepted that if God wants me to return, I will pack my things, and if He allows me to stay, God will provide.
" As we grow in trusting God in all things, our contentment becomes an act of worship. Isn't that a beautiful thought!" (p. 202).
Our trust in God is worship. I love how John Piper states it. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. Faith pleases God. It magnifies Him name. Contentment does not depend on place, possessions, or other people. It depends on our trust in the Blessed Controller of all things.
Dillow closes with a prayer. As I await the response from my last agency contact, as I await the move to stay or return home, with a mustard seed of faith, this is my prayer:
"The Lord is my peace. I shall not live in anxiety. He puts me under His wing of comfort and calms my spirit within me. He takes all my anxieties on Himself and helps me to focus on Him. Yes, though I walk through a time of grave uncertainties and fierce anxieties, I will not fret —for You are my peace. Your Word and Your presence calm me now. You hold my uncertainties in the palm of Your hand. You soothe my anxious mind- You smooth my wrinkled brow. Surely serenity and trust in You shall fill me all the days of my life. And I shall keep my mind stayed on You forever} (p.204)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Trusting God on the crooked path
We are almost to the end of the book. I really enjoyed this book and it has been so relevant, so encouraging and so challenging. I would like to continue journeying with you through a new book. Please provide some suggestions.
It is one of "those" days. The first e-mail I received in the morning was from one of the agencies where I interviewed twice. This agency was the farthest drive, 45 minutes one way. I was asked to come in twice. You can see where I am headed with this. The title of the message was internship. It was a short e-mail and those are usually the worst and it was. In polite language they said that they cannot accept me as an intern. Usually this should not be a big deal, but I forwarded the message to the director of field education at the college and she expressed her concerns that this is starting to become problematic. My peers all started their internships five weeks ago and I have been met with ten weeks of failed attempts. Yet, in this, the Lord is good. I received two phone calls from two different hospitals and had two interviews this week. I have no idea how it will turn out, but this situation is not in my control.
I far prefer the times when everything makes sense and things are going well.
"I personally prefer the "straight" times! I like to be able to see how everything is fitting together. The crooked times are difficult, not just because they're crooked but because we can't see how God is working. But those are the times that require faith. Remember, God is fitting things together even when we can't see. It just doesn't feel as good or as safe. The book of Ecclesiastes encourages us to rejoice when life is easy and to trust God when it isn't." (p. 186)
Consider the work of God, for who is able to straighten what He has bent? In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider — God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not discover anything that will be after him. (Ecclesiastes 7:13-14, nasb)
God has made both the times of prosperity as well as the times of adversity. Human nature far rather prefers the days of prosperity. We try so much to avoid the adversity. Recently I have had Romans 8:28 appear and reappear in my mind especially when the e-mail came in this morning.
"All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."'
Yet these situations God places in our lives do not stop us from asking the "why" questions and the "how long" questions. One of my most favorite minor prophets ponders such questions and Dillow reflects on his message.
"Habakkuk was different from the other Old Testament prophets who addressed either their own countrymen or a foreign people. Habakkuk talked to God alone. He was a man with a crooked situation. After the death of Josiah, the last godly king, the people worshiped false gods, and very little honor was given to Yahweh.
Moral corruption was rampant in judah, yet God was silent. Violence and lawlessness raged; God seemed unconcerned. It appeared that God was not working. Habakkuk came before God and asked the age-old questions that tear our hearts apart: "How long, O Lord?""Why, God? Why do You allow evil and wickedness to continue in Judah?" He prayed:" (p. 189).
How long, O Lord, will I call for help.
And Thou wilt not hear?
I cry out to Thee, "Violence!"
Yet Thou dost not save.
Why dost Thou make me see iniquity.
And cause me to look on wickedness?
Yes, destruction and violence are before me;
Strife exists and contention arises.
Therefore, the law is ignored
And justice is never upheld.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
Therefore, justice comes out perverted.
(Habakkuk 1:2-4, nasb)
The circumstances aren't too different from the ones we see here in the United States and around the world, rampant injustice. Volumes have been written from philosophers and Theologians and pastors about this issue of God's sovereignty and human evil, and the book does not go into the why of things but the how. God responds to the questions.
Then the Lord answered me and said,
"Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets.
That the one who reads it may run.
For the vision is yet for the appointed time:
It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay.
Behold, as for the proud one.
His soul is not right within him;
But the righteous will live by his faith."
(Habakkuk 2:2-4, nasb)
"God reaffirmed that what Habakkuk had heard was true — the Chaldeans were coming — but Habakkuk was to live by faith. This same statement is repeated three times in the New Testament: "The just shall live by faith" (Romans 1 .-17; Galatians 3:11; Hebrews 1038). In other words, God didn't explain Why; instead He told Habakkuk to trust Him with all his Whys. Habakkuk was to trust God for what he didn't understand, what he couldn't see. He was to walk in the dark with God" (p. 192).
God often does not explain why. The righteous shall live by faith. God is not unaware of the troubles in the world, and the troubles we face. Sometimes the provision or the solution is immediate, while many times it takes a while. Personally, waiting on God while circumstances are impossible and time is growing limited is very difficult.
Chapter 3 of the text is one of the most beautiful expressions of faith in Scripture:
Though the fig tree should not blossom.
And there be no fruit on the vines.
Though the yield of the olive should fail,
And the fields produce no food.
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold,
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength.
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.
(Habakkuk 3:17-19, nasb)
The circumstances did not change, but somehow, some way, we see a movement from questioning God to praising God. Dillow suggests three things that happened.
He told his honest doubts to God.
He resolved to wait on God.
He chose to trust God in the dark. (p. 193)
I came across a beautifully-written song a year ago that has similar elements of doubt, and then the movement towards praise. I am not quite there yet. I want to move from fear to faith.
Yours
Steven Curtis Chapman
I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I'm reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is
I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They're waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours
And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar's hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize
That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father's world
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
You're the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it's all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours
It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours
We are almost to the end of the book. I really enjoyed this book and it has been so relevant, so encouraging and so challenging. I would like to continue journeying with you through a new book. Please provide some suggestions.
It is one of "those" days. The first e-mail I received in the morning was from one of the agencies where I interviewed twice. This agency was the farthest drive, 45 minutes one way. I was asked to come in twice. You can see where I am headed with this. The title of the message was internship. It was a short e-mail and those are usually the worst and it was. In polite language they said that they cannot accept me as an intern. Usually this should not be a big deal, but I forwarded the message to the director of field education at the college and she expressed her concerns that this is starting to become problematic. My peers all started their internships five weeks ago and I have been met with ten weeks of failed attempts. Yet, in this, the Lord is good. I received two phone calls from two different hospitals and had two interviews this week. I have no idea how it will turn out, but this situation is not in my control.
I far prefer the times when everything makes sense and things are going well.
"I personally prefer the "straight" times! I like to be able to see how everything is fitting together. The crooked times are difficult, not just because they're crooked but because we can't see how God is working. But those are the times that require faith. Remember, God is fitting things together even when we can't see. It just doesn't feel as good or as safe. The book of Ecclesiastes encourages us to rejoice when life is easy and to trust God when it isn't." (p. 186)
Consider the work of God, for who is able to straighten what He has bent? In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider — God has made the one as well as the other so that man may not discover anything that will be after him. (Ecclesiastes 7:13-14, nasb)
God has made both the times of prosperity as well as the times of adversity. Human nature far rather prefers the days of prosperity. We try so much to avoid the adversity. Recently I have had Romans 8:28 appear and reappear in my mind especially when the e-mail came in this morning.
"All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."'
Yet these situations God places in our lives do not stop us from asking the "why" questions and the "how long" questions. One of my most favorite minor prophets ponders such questions and Dillow reflects on his message.
"Habakkuk was different from the other Old Testament prophets who addressed either their own countrymen or a foreign people. Habakkuk talked to God alone. He was a man with a crooked situation. After the death of Josiah, the last godly king, the people worshiped false gods, and very little honor was given to Yahweh.
Moral corruption was rampant in judah, yet God was silent. Violence and lawlessness raged; God seemed unconcerned. It appeared that God was not working. Habakkuk came before God and asked the age-old questions that tear our hearts apart: "How long, O Lord?""Why, God? Why do You allow evil and wickedness to continue in Judah?" He prayed:" (p. 189).
How long, O Lord, will I call for help.
And Thou wilt not hear?
I cry out to Thee, "Violence!"
Yet Thou dost not save.
Why dost Thou make me see iniquity.
And cause me to look on wickedness?
Yes, destruction and violence are before me;
Strife exists and contention arises.
Therefore, the law is ignored
And justice is never upheld.
For the wicked surround the righteous;
Therefore, justice comes out perverted.
(Habakkuk 1:2-4, nasb)
The circumstances aren't too different from the ones we see here in the United States and around the world, rampant injustice. Volumes have been written from philosophers and Theologians and pastors about this issue of God's sovereignty and human evil, and the book does not go into the why of things but the how. God responds to the questions.
Then the Lord answered me and said,
"Record the vision and inscribe it on tablets.
That the one who reads it may run.
For the vision is yet for the appointed time:
It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
For it will certainly come, it will not delay.
Behold, as for the proud one.
His soul is not right within him;
But the righteous will live by his faith."
(Habakkuk 2:2-4, nasb)
"God reaffirmed that what Habakkuk had heard was true — the Chaldeans were coming — but Habakkuk was to live by faith. This same statement is repeated three times in the New Testament: "The just shall live by faith" (Romans 1 .-17; Galatians 3:11; Hebrews 1038). In other words, God didn't explain Why; instead He told Habakkuk to trust Him with all his Whys. Habakkuk was to trust God for what he didn't understand, what he couldn't see. He was to walk in the dark with God" (p. 192).
God often does not explain why. The righteous shall live by faith. God is not unaware of the troubles in the world, and the troubles we face. Sometimes the provision or the solution is immediate, while many times it takes a while. Personally, waiting on God while circumstances are impossible and time is growing limited is very difficult.
Chapter 3 of the text is one of the most beautiful expressions of faith in Scripture:
Though the fig tree should not blossom.
And there be no fruit on the vines.
Though the yield of the olive should fail,
And the fields produce no food.
Though the flock should be cut off from the fold,
And there be no cattle in the stalls,
Yet I will exult in the Lord,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength.
And He has made my feet like hinds' feet,
And makes me walk on my high places.
(Habakkuk 3:17-19, nasb)
The circumstances did not change, but somehow, some way, we see a movement from questioning God to praising God. Dillow suggests three things that happened.
He told his honest doubts to God.
He resolved to wait on God.
He chose to trust God in the dark. (p. 193)
I came across a beautifully-written song a year ago that has similar elements of doubt, and then the movement towards praise. I am not quite there yet. I want to move from fear to faith.
Yours
Steven Curtis Chapman
I walk the streets of London
And notice in the faces passing by
Something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London?
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
As I'm reminded
That every street in London in Yours
Oh, yes it is
I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
They're waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children's voices singing
Of a God who heals and rescues and restores
And I'm reminded
That every child in Africa is Yours
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours
And I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
Like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I rush by the beggar's hand and the wealthy man
And everywhere I look I realize
That just like the streets of London
For every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation
This is our Father's world
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
You're the Maker and Keeper, Father and Ruler of everything
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
It's all Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
All the honor is Yours, God
The power is Yours, God
The glory is Yours, God
You're the King of Kings
And Lord of Lords
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky
To the depths of the ocean floor
And its all Yours, God, Yours, God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
Yeah, it's all Yours
We are Yours
The glory and honor is Yours, everything is Yours
It's all Yours, God
My life is Yours, my heart is Yours
My hands and my feet are Yours
Every song that I sing
It's all Yours, all is Yours
All belongs to You
Our gifts are Yours, God
All our dreams are Yours, God
All our plans are Yours, God
The whole earth is Yours, God
Everything is Yours
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Trusting God with our portion, IF ONLY continued.
Another week, another interview. In less than two hours from now, I will be going to yet another interview at another organization, this time a hospital. I have no idea what to expect. I am four weeks into the summer period and still without a definite placement. Theoretically this will be the most relevant placement because out of all the places I have interviewed, this is directly related to my concentration.
"If we are to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty, we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by a personal and loving God. For most of us, this begins by refusing to contract the if Only disease" (p. 173).
Certainly there is a reason why God allows some things and not allow other things. So far, each interview, whether good or bad has resulted in no placement. It is the closed doors that are often the hardest to go through. Yet, open doors are not always a good thing for they can lead to heartache and disappointment if we are not seeking the Lord in those choices.
I always love reading devotional commentaries on certain sections of Scripture. One passage I love is the raising of the brother of Martha by Jesus in John 11:
"Wilma became so distraught over their situation, so paralyzed by the if Only, that on Easter she could not sing "He Lives." She felt God had deserted them. Alone in her drab kitchen, she turned to a pamphlet by A. B. Simpson titled, "The if in Your Life." She read the account of Lazarus's death and how Martha had said to Jesus. "Lord. If Only You had been here, my brother would not have died." And Jesus could have been there; He was not far away. He knew all about it and Lie let Lazarus die.
Wilma realized a great truth: There's an if in every life — something God could have done differently if He had chosen to do so. He has all power, yet He often allows that if to be there. God wanted to meet Wilma's if with His if just as He had for Martha. Jesus told Martha, "Did 1 not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40). Martha wanted Lazarus to be delivered from death; Christ wanted Lazarus to be triumphant over death.2" (pp. 174-175)
It is that last statement that really sticks out to me. Jesus wanted Lazarus triumph over death. Martha wanted her brother delivered from death. The rhetorical question is "which would bring God greater glory?" Certainly the raising of the dead would be a greater miracle. So often our prayers are so limited. We want God to do X but God wants to do Y and Y is the action that brings Him greater glory. I find it hard then to know what to ask except that in whatever happens that God would get the greatest glory. Death is no small matter. I can imagine the sadness Martha was feeling and the anger towards Jesus for letting her brother die. Yet, in that tragedy, Jesus was at work. Trusting God in those circumstances is incredibly challenging.
Dillow goes on to tell about a woman who finds the man of her dreams only to find several years into the marriage his continual adultery, apology and adultery again. She found out his middle name is charmer. Adultery itself is a kind of death. It is the death of trust and commitment. It is heartbreaking.
"Recently I received another letter from Darla and marveled at her continual growth. She said, "I'm trying to learn obedience and acquiescence to God's will in the tiniest details of my life. I don't want to waste any more of my life being sad and nonfunctioning because of my situation with my husband." Darla is choosing to trust God with her portion." (p. 177)
Dillow goes on to describe one of her favorite Psalms, PS 77. This is the key to trusting God.
Remembering the Deeds of the Lord
"We survive the packages of pain God allows in our lives by remembering who God is and what He has done in the past. When If Onlys invade my mind, when anguish fills my heart, I return to one of my favorite psalms. It is a place where God has met me time after time. Read Psalm 77 and hear the psalmist's pain-drenched words: "My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;... I was too troubled to speak. ... Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?" (Psalm 77:2-4.8-9).
These questions sound like my questions. But listen to how the psalmist's despair changes from pity to praise.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. (Psalm 77:11-14)
I will remember. This is a key to trusting God." (p. 179).
Well, God has done so much for me. He has kept me alive and sustained me for 30 years. He got me to this point. I got accepted into this graduate program. I made it through two semesters. Surely God will enable me to finish and provide all that is necessary.
Another week, another interview. In less than two hours from now, I will be going to yet another interview at another organization, this time a hospital. I have no idea what to expect. I am four weeks into the summer period and still without a definite placement. Theoretically this will be the most relevant placement because out of all the places I have interviewed, this is directly related to my concentration.
"If we are to find contentment in the midst of trial and uncertainty, we must accept our situation as being purposely allowed into our lives by a personal and loving God. For most of us, this begins by refusing to contract the if Only disease" (p. 173).
Certainly there is a reason why God allows some things and not allow other things. So far, each interview, whether good or bad has resulted in no placement. It is the closed doors that are often the hardest to go through. Yet, open doors are not always a good thing for they can lead to heartache and disappointment if we are not seeking the Lord in those choices.
I always love reading devotional commentaries on certain sections of Scripture. One passage I love is the raising of the brother of Martha by Jesus in John 11:
"Wilma became so distraught over their situation, so paralyzed by the if Only, that on Easter she could not sing "He Lives." She felt God had deserted them. Alone in her drab kitchen, she turned to a pamphlet by A. B. Simpson titled, "The if in Your Life." She read the account of Lazarus's death and how Martha had said to Jesus. "Lord. If Only You had been here, my brother would not have died." And Jesus could have been there; He was not far away. He knew all about it and Lie let Lazarus die.
Wilma realized a great truth: There's an if in every life — something God could have done differently if He had chosen to do so. He has all power, yet He often allows that if to be there. God wanted to meet Wilma's if with His if just as He had for Martha. Jesus told Martha, "Did 1 not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" (John 11:40). Martha wanted Lazarus to be delivered from death; Christ wanted Lazarus to be triumphant over death.2" (pp. 174-175)
It is that last statement that really sticks out to me. Jesus wanted Lazarus triumph over death. Martha wanted her brother delivered from death. The rhetorical question is "which would bring God greater glory?" Certainly the raising of the dead would be a greater miracle. So often our prayers are so limited. We want God to do X but God wants to do Y and Y is the action that brings Him greater glory. I find it hard then to know what to ask except that in whatever happens that God would get the greatest glory. Death is no small matter. I can imagine the sadness Martha was feeling and the anger towards Jesus for letting her brother die. Yet, in that tragedy, Jesus was at work. Trusting God in those circumstances is incredibly challenging.
Dillow goes on to tell about a woman who finds the man of her dreams only to find several years into the marriage his continual adultery, apology and adultery again. She found out his middle name is charmer. Adultery itself is a kind of death. It is the death of trust and commitment. It is heartbreaking.
"Recently I received another letter from Darla and marveled at her continual growth. She said, "I'm trying to learn obedience and acquiescence to God's will in the tiniest details of my life. I don't want to waste any more of my life being sad and nonfunctioning because of my situation with my husband." Darla is choosing to trust God with her portion." (p. 177)
Dillow goes on to describe one of her favorite Psalms, PS 77. This is the key to trusting God.
Remembering the Deeds of the Lord
"We survive the packages of pain God allows in our lives by remembering who God is and what He has done in the past. When If Onlys invade my mind, when anguish fills my heart, I return to one of my favorite psalms. It is a place where God has met me time after time. Read Psalm 77 and hear the psalmist's pain-drenched words: "My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered you, O God, and I groaned;... I was too troubled to speak. ... Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time? Has God forgotten to be merciful?" (Psalm 77:2-4.8-9).
These questions sound like my questions. But listen to how the psalmist's despair changes from pity to praise.
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God? You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. (Psalm 77:11-14)
I will remember. This is a key to trusting God." (p. 179).
Well, God has done so much for me. He has kept me alive and sustained me for 30 years. He got me to this point. I got accepted into this graduate program. I made it through two semesters. Surely God will enable me to finish and provide all that is necessary.
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