heaven's tree book club

September 29, 2012
Introduction
I finished the last book yesterday. It was on the royal identity of the believer and overall it was quite encouraging. As trying to prayerfully consider what to read next, I thought about some of the issues that I have been wrestling with in the past few weeks. Many times I pray that I don't feel God's power and presence and I want a strong and vibrant faith rather than the defeat and discouragement I feel day to day. I don't experience power in prayer but really discouragement in prayer and disappointment with God. My prayer life, in very blunt terms, sucks. So, I know I have already gone through some general books on prayer, but I have not gone through any books on intercession. I am weak in this area even though I personally pray for others in church and in my family. But what does it look like to effectively pray for others? I am not sure.
(Przybylski, 2008) writes about her prayer journey as a missionary and shares these experiences. I begin today with her introduction. But along the way I write not just about the thoughts I have about the book but also about what is going on in my life especially as it relates to my faith and relationship with God. Today was a very low point. This is the second day this week where I cried. It was in the evening time just after dinner. I cannot remember a time when I cried twice in the same week. It was very difficult to walk today. For the first time dad carried the wheelchair into the house to get me to the bike path for the evening walk. I could not handle the distance from the dining room to the front door. I was going to check out the children's ministry but had to decline because I was in no condition to go anywhere tonight. The thing is that my brother got invited to a birthday party and my mom got invited to a wedding banquet leaving me home. I was suppose to visit the ministry but was in no condition to do so. I felt so depressed about everything in my life. I thought about all my failures and disappointments and sorrows. This did not help. I originally also wanted to go out for dinner since mom and bro were out for dinner. Obviously that didn't happen. Tonight, I have so much disappointment with God. For the first time, I jointed an online prayer community. For the first time, I had told my situation and how I feel and how I feel like God has forgotten me and some brothers and sisters sent me words of encouragement and it helped a little. I want to do this too, to pray for strangers in the body of Christ and send words of encouragement and so today I decided to choose one or two people to pray for during the week. So today was a woman who had an eight year relationship and she felt heartbroken. I can relate because I felt that ache when I was in college. There is no way to actually communicate with her back and forth but I shared with her that God comforts us when we are going through difficulties. I really need an opportunity to get the attention off of myself and on to helping and serving others.
Prayer is not an indifferent or a small thing. It is not a sweet, little privilege. It is a great prerogative, far-reaching in its effects. Failure to pray entails losses far beyon the person who neglects it. Prayer is not a mere episode of the Christian life. Rather, the whole of life is a preparation for and the result of prayer. E. M. Bounds, E. M. Bounds on Prayer1
THE MINISTRY OF Intercessors Arise was birthed in my heart years ago on the mission field as a young missionary trying to reach the world with the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was then that I saw the desperate need for prayer for the nations. Over the years, my passion for intercession grew. Praying in the nations over many years with Operation Mobilization on its mission ship Doulos and ministering in more than sixty countries was a privilege. I saw prayer as a vital necessity in reaching the world. I learned the blessing of both personal and corporate prayer for the lost. Intercessors Arise began the week after 9/11."
I don't understand the vital necessity of prayer. Sometimes it feels like a small thing. I guess I don't experience power in my prayer life. The whole of life is a result of prayer. This is a profound statement. How we pray and when we pray and what we pray for is a result of prayer. I don't think I fully grasp the importance of that statement. Maybe because mostly the only person I have accountability sharing with is myself and so I see no answers to my own prayers so I experience no powr in my prayer life.

"Some people have said to me, "I don't have the gift of intercession," and then have grown to be mighty prayer warriors. None of us is born a prayer hero. We become one through practice. Intercessory prayer is an extension of the ministry of Jesus through His church on earth. He works through the prayers of His people. Through intercession, we mediate between God and humans as His representatives on earth, standing between Him and a lost world.
God is calling the entire body of Christ to pray and to intercede. Jesus is our example as the greatest intercessor, and He invites us to join Him. This is both our responsibility and a wonderful privilege to partner with God as we pray. We bring people to God in prayer, asking Him to meet with them. With His authority, we enforce the victory of Calvary here on earth through our prayers. Now we must awaken to this glorious privilege."
I am certainly not gifted in prayer or intercession and need knowledge and practice in prayer and understandin how we can pray in a way that we should. I read some online prayers that seem to be written by someone with a limited understanding of prayer and God. I don't want to be like that. I want to have substance in my prayer life.

"If you want to grow in your personal prayer life and make an impact in your world through intercession, then this book is for you. God is calling each one of us to rise higher in prayer than ever before. It's time for us to meet this challenge. It's time to release God on earth through our prayers. I encourage you as you read this book to make a new commitment to steadfast, earnest prayer.
My intense hope is to see intercessors arise in the end times. The days are getting darker, the need is getting greater, and the expectation of a worldwide harvest is growing brighter. I pray that you arise to the call for prayer and intercession in your own life, whether it is for your family, your city, your nation, or the world. It is time for expansion and increase on a global scale. It is time for fervency of intercession to develop beyond anything we have ever seen or imagined. May you arise in intercession for such a time as this. May you arise in personal prayer that changes the world."
Prayer:
Father, I want to grow in my prayer life and my impact in prayer for the world. I confess that I don't see power in prayer. It seems like none of my prayers get answered. I don't experience Your power or presence. Sometimes I feel like You have forgotten me. It has been a hard time in this season and I want to grow in prayer and faith. I commit this journey to You. Please teach me to pray not empty prayers but prayers that have substance and faith.