Where is my focus?
Self-reflection appears to grow with alarming intensity as I near the close of my 20s. Yes, in about a week, I can no longer say I am in my 20s. This week will likely pass with no thrilling excursions, no to-do list / things to accomplish. Sadly, the day of my birthday will likely be the most ordinary birthday I have ever had. I will be in Rochester, 3000 miles away from home, away from family, friends, and my beloved community, and for the first time. No one will sing happy birthday, there will be no cake, and the only friends I have in grad school have all returned home. This week has the components of being quite depressing.
These things can and do happen whether we want it or not. Disappointment, unfulfilled expectations, unrealized dreams, they can and do happen. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish before I turn 30, and I am sure many in their 20s do as well. I wanted to be married with two kids and a stable job before 30. I wanted to know my purpose and calling before I turn 30. Many days when I am here, I feel like I am simply enduring the present.
"Psychologist William Marston asked three thousand people, "What do you have to live for?" He was shocked to discover that 94 percent were simply enduring the present while waiting for the future.2 Because 1 desire to be a woman of purpose, I often ask myself. "Linda, are you living life with a myopic focus? Are you in a waiting mode?" (Dillow, 2007 p. 108)
One way is simply endure the present while waiting for the future. The other way is to live in the present but focus on the past. The poem that Dillow shares from a 14-year-old boy tells the story of living in the present but wanting the future.
It was spring but it was summer I wanted; the warm days
and the great outdoors. It was summer but it was fall I wanted; the colorful
leaves and the cool dry air.
It was fall but it was winter I wanted; the beautiful snow
and the joy of the holiday season. It was now winter but it was spring 1 wanted; the warmth
and the blossoming of nature. I was a child but it was adulthood I wanted; the freedom
and the respect. I was twenty but it was thirty I wanted; to be mature and
sophisticated. I was middle-aged but it was twenty I wanted; the youth
and the free spirit. I was retired but it was middle-age that I wanted; the
presence of mind without limitations. My life was over but I never got what I wanted." (p. 108-109).
Dillow asks a good question and raises an alarming reality:
"If someone were to ask us where we're headed, we'd probably answer, "Soccer practice." We get so caught up with our kids' schedules, our car pools, our careers, our fears, our problems that we lose sight of the bigger picture. We've forgotten who we are and that we're here for a reason. We don't stop to think about what we do; and worse, we don't even pray about it." (p. 109)
Where am I headed? To class. To church. To my internship. I am guilty of being preoccupied with the task at hand. There always seems to be a paper to write, a group project to work on, a lesson plan to prepare. What is the bigger picture?
Dillow makes a proposal:
"We must correct our faulty focus and become women of purpose. A good way to begin is with a purpose statement that defines what we believe and where we want to be." (p. 110).
According to Dillow, there are two elements of a purpose statement, figuring out what we believe and figuring out where we want to be. She provides some examples.
"Jonathan Edwards wrote his life purpose statement in the form of resolutions. Betty Scott Stam wrote hers in the form of prayer:
Lord. I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.5" (p. 111)
The prayer shows what she believes. We see a total surrender to the Lordship of Jesus. Consequently, we do not see her saying where she wants to be at in ten years. She leaves it up to God.
Dillow goes into four stories of four different women who were intentional about their purpose and purpose statement. I really enjoy the first story, Phyllis.
Phyllis prayed for life-purpose in the midst of her chaos and confusion. God gave her Philippians 3:10, an excellent life-verse.
"For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressive!}' become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly" "AMP"
I love what Phyllis says, that her children are not her purpose, but her platform. Her purpose is continually in progress. Her purpose transcends her children. Listen to the crafting of her purpose statement:
"I began with a verse, and years later God gave me four words that clarified my purpose." The words were: purposely, faithfully, creatively, and paradoxically.
Today, Phyllis's life purpose reads like this:
I want to live my life very purposely, regularly reviewing and praying over my purpose in life, loving God intensely, cherishing and inspiring my husband, praying for and keeping connected spiritually with my children, loving women and seeking to lay spiritual foundations in their lives.
I want to live faithfully, believing God for what I cannot see. I want to believe that God can do in my children's lives what I cannot do.
1 want to live creatively, creating beauty and warmth in my home, around my table, and in my Bible study. Creativity adds sparkle to a focused, purposeful life.
I want to live paradoxically. I want to go against my selfish nature, against our culture, giving a little bit more than 1 feel like giving, going the second mile, being like Jesus.6" (p. 112-113).
Amazing! Don't you want to meet Phyllis? As I read her purpose statement, I think, this is the kind of person I want as my spiritual mentor, my spiritual mom, a woman of God who really lives for Him. What a living witness to her loving Lord!
As I think about her statement, I think it must have come out of a lot of prayer and searching. Over the past few months in grad school my life-verse has reemerged and then gone into hiding. It is broad enough to be a life-verse, but it is also quite intimidating. I suppose that is what makes it a life-verse: that we never fully accomplish its content.
6 With what shall I come before the LORD,
And bow myself before the High God?
Shall I come before Him with burnt offerings,
With calves a year old?
7 Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
Ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
The fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?
8 He has shown you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justly,
To love mercy,
And to walk humbly with your God? (Mic 6:6-8).
The perfect Christian social worker life-verse in my opinion.
One of the speakers from the conference yesterday made reference to a passage in Jeremiah 9 and then 22. Both passages have a similar point. Jeremiah nine is saying what it means to know God. The kind of knowing is not just knowledge. It is not just Bible study and Sunday school and Bible reading. Jeremiah 22 records a long judgment on a king who did what was wrong even though God had spoken to him.
11 For this is what the LORD says about Shallum son of Josiah, who succeeded his father as king of Judah but has gone from this place: "He will never return. 12 He will die in the place where they have led him captive; he will not see this land again."
13 "Woe to him who builds his palace by unrighteousness,
his upper rooms by injustice,
making his countrymen work for nothing,
not paying them for their labor.
14 He says, 'I will build myself a great palace
with spacious upper rooms.'
So he makes large windows in it,
panels it with cedar
and decorates it in red.
15 "Does it make you a king
to have more and more cedar?
Did not your father have food and drink?
He did what was right and just,
so all went well with him.
16 He defended the cause of the poor and needy,
and so all went well.
Is that not what it means to know me?"
declares the LORD.
17 "But your eyes and your heart
are set only on dishonest gain,
on shedding innocent blood
and on oppression and extortion." (Jer 22:11-17).
The speaker's point from the conference focused not on the judgment, but on v. 16, what it means to know God, defending the cause of the poor and needy. Knowing God, really knowing God is to know His heart, and in Jer 9:22-23 it says His delight is in exercising justice, righteousness, and loving kindness on the earth. Doing God's will is doing what He delights in. I want my life to be about that, doing what is just, loving mercy, and walking humbly with Him.
Dillow closes with a powerful story that has effected her desire to live with a fixed focus. This is Hebrews 12:2 being lived out. This is really life is about and where our focus should be:
"The following story has deeply affected my desire to live with a fixed focus. I will call this woman Mattie. Throughout her life, Mattie cherished and depended on the Word of God. committing to memory many verses from her worn King James Bible. Her life verse was 2 Timothy 1:12: "For I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day."
As Mattie grew older, her memory faded and details eluded her. Even the beloved faces of her family slipped from recognition. Finally, she was confined to bed in a nursing home. When her family and friends would visit Mattie, they would find her still quoting verses of Scripture, especially her well-loved life verse. But with the passing of time, even parts of this most special verse began to slip away. "I know whom I have believed," she would say. "He is able to keep . .. what I have committed ... to Him." As Mattie grew weaker, the verse grew even shorter: "What I have committed ... to Him."
As Mattie lay dying, her voice became so weak that her family had to strain to hear the whispered words. There was only one word left of her life verse: "Him." Mattie whispered it again and again as she neared the gates of heaven. "Him . .. Him . . , Him." He was all that was left. He was all that was needed. Her life focus was Him.12" (p. 119)
prayer / song of worship
One Pure and Holy Passion
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
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