(Dillow, 2007) writes about contentment in relationships. If we have been alive for any length of time and if we are human, we will face challenges in relationships. We will face betrayal. We will feel wronged. We will feel hurt. It is so timely that I come across this particular chapter and these particular thoughts during passion week. Dillow brings our focus off of ourselves and back on to Jesus. That is what I love so much about Dillow and her writing. On the section "Jesus' example" Dillow writes:
"All the hurt, fear, and rejection you have ever felt is what the Lord Jesus felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. When He came to the garden to pray that night, Jesus knew He was about to be betrayed and die a painful death on the cross. He had confided in His friends, telling them His heart was at the breaking point with sorrow. He had asked them to lessen His grief by staying up with Him, and they had agreed to do so. Jesus went a short distance away from them and prayed, "My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done" (Matthew 26:42). Desiring comfort, He returned to His disciples an hour later only to find them all asleep." (Dillow, 2007 p. 74)
I have gone through this scene so many times but have never considered the mindset of Jesus. In his hour of trouble and trial not even the closest disciples stayed awake. If ever a man felt abandonment it was now. More than that is detailed further in the chapter of Peter's denial. I have included the Gethsemane section and the denial below from the 26th chapter of Matthew.
Gethsemane
36 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”
39 Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
40 Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”
43 When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. 44 So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.
45 Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. 46 Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”
Peter Disowns Jesus
69 Now Peter was sitting out in the courtyard, and a servant girl came to him. “You also were with Jesus of Galilee,” she said.
70 But he denied it before them all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said.
71 Then he went out to the gateway, where another servant girl saw him and said to the people there, “This fellow was with Jesus of Nazareth.”
72 He denied it again, with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”
74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
Immediately a rooster crowed. 75 Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: “Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
Can you picture this? Jesus was agonizing the events of His future and the disciples fell asleep. They failed Him not once, but three times. Have we felt the sting of disappointment from friends? Sometimes it is trivial, other times it is real let down. In either case it hurts and it happens. Dillow makes this true and powerful statement. "When we love, we open ourselves to the possibility of hurt." (Dillow, 2007 p. 76) It is those who are closest to us who can hurt us the most. Love makes us vulnerability to the pains of disappointment and betrayal. At the same time there are many joys to love.
Both love and forgiveness are choices. How did Jesus respond? "Did you notice that Jesus said, "Let us go"? He used the word us. Even after they betrayed Him, Jesus reached out to His friends." (Dillow, 2007 p. 76). How many of us would have been "forget it!" The natural response to let down and disappointment is unforgiveness and / or vengeance. The natural way is to have nothing to do with the person or to punish them. Jesus does neither. His way is the way of forgiveness and reconciliation. Jesus also teaches us the way of grace.
Dillow calls this going beyond forgiveness. Are feelings for the person who hurt us are negative but we are not to act on those feelings. Rather we act on what we know to be true from Scripture. These are choices we make even when the choices contradict how we feel. I’ve learned over the years that feelings are unreliable and must be tested and examined by truth. Choices are linked to will. I can control what I do even if I don't feel like doing it. Dillow took Romans 12 into practice.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12:17-21)
Dillow took these verses and personalized it to the person who hurt her, to bless, honor, and love the one who offended her.
"As I prayed for Jana and asked, "How can I bless her?" God gave me creative ways to reach out in love. When she was discouraged about her ministry, I wrote her a letter of encouragement. When her mother visited. I invited Jana and her mother to lunch. Did I feel loving? No. Did I feel like giving a blessing? No. But God continued to prompt me to go beyond forgiveness. To put the act of forgiving into the action of forgiving. To make secret choices in my heart, in my will. My choices had nothing whatever to do with my feelings." (Dillow, 2007 p. 81)
This seems easy to do. It seems easy to do when we are not in that situation. The reality is that going beyond forgiveness is real difficult. Dillow adds the emphasis of prayer. None of these actions of grace come naturally. They really do not come naturally when are minds are bent towards doing that person harm. We need to be in tune to God and to hear from Him and how we can bless, honor, and love those who have hurt us. It takes divine enablement and wisdom to love someone the way God would.
Dillow asks us what choices can we commit to.. Dillow calls these secret choices. (Dillow, 2007 p. 82) These are her choices:
What I choose to be - faithful to God
What I choose to do - forgive others, go beyond forgiveness
What I choose to sow words of blessing and love
Dillow, in her section, "How often must I forgive", includes the classic text on forgiveness from Matthew 18. She writes that 490 is not the magic number of times to forgive. Rather, we are to keep on forgiving. If we add the context of Romans 12, then we are to continually forgive and continually love. I would add that this particular text shows us the huge discrepancy between the debt we owe to God that He forgave us from and the debt people owe to us. Our debt could never be paid of but Jesus paid it in full so that forgiveness could be made possible. Jesus is the center of this passion week and He is to always be our focus especially when it comes to forgiving others.
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiveness is a serious issue with God. Forgiveness is at the heart of the Gospel. I like songs that remind me of the reality of the Gospel. This song seems appropriate during passion week and being reminded of what Jesus has done so that we are able to extent grace and mercy to others.
You Are My King
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king. would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
Amazing love how can it be?
That my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do
I honor you
I'm forgiven because you were forsaken
I'm accepted, you were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
Because you died and rose again
Amazing love how can it be
That you, my king would die for me
Amazing love, I know its true
It's my joy to honor you
Amazing love how can it be?
That you, my king, would die for me
Amazing love, I know its true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
You are my king
You are my king
Jesus, You are my king
Jesus, You are my king
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king, would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
Amazing love, how can it be?
That you, my king would die for me
Amazing love I know it's true
Its my joy to honor you
In all I do I honor you
In all I do honor you
No comments:
Post a Comment